Opposites do attract. We’re often drawn to partners or friends who have qualities we lack. This can be a good thing, up to a point. If there are too may opposites, there’s going to be trouble.
When we were dating (for the second time) my husband confessed, “I’m allergic to fun.” I thought he was kidding. He works hard and is hard on himself. I can understand this, but my desire for myself is to have more fun. We had lots of fun when we dated, getting to know each other again; the butterflies and excitement of falling in love tends to make us giddy and overlook things.
Fortunately, we also asked a lot of questions to find out if there were any deal breakers. To find out if there was enough common ground.
But back to the opposites. He says he is not artistic. And he’s not when it comes to free flowing things, improvisation, dance, playful art. I am more artistic. He is more precise. I tend to be scattered. He is more focused. (I’ve come to believe that’s mostly a guy thing.) He is great with numbers, me not so much.
I love to sing. My husband stopped singing in his late teens after being ridiculed. When we found each other again, he didn’t sing at all. But he’s been working on this for a couple years, and now sings in our church choir with me. He knows how I love to sing and wants to be with me enough to overcome his fear of singing. He’s also overcoming his fear of swimming in deep water due to a close call a long time ago. I love to swim. He was a fire fighter and pilot, so he’s not at all afraid of heights like I am. I get motion sickness at the drop of a hat. But when he gets a chance to fly a plane again, I’ll be there with him, right after I take my Dramamine.
I used to be addicted to TV and movies. My husband doesn’t watch TV and rarely goes to movies. But he did like Interstellar which we saw together. It’s a good thing I took my daughter with me to see Wild. And there’s no way he’ll want to go see Into the Woods. But that’s okay.
Even though opposites attract, similarities are necessary for a happy, long lasting relationship.
My husband and I both love dogs. We like to grow things in dirt and eat healthy. While we both partied plenty in our younger days, we’re now conservative in our lifestyles, though not our beliefs. We are responsible, frugal and conscientious. We believe in giving back to the community. We search for meaning in spirituality. We’re both Christians, but we’re open minded enough to respect the beliefs of others. We respect each others differences. We listen to each other. We both like garlic.
These are important similarities. Without them, it wouldn’t work.
And it’s working quite well.
This week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday Post was the word: “opposite.” If you’d like to join in the fun, visit:
Here are the rules:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. Have fun!
January 10, 2015 at 5:16 pm
I long to find someone with whom I can build a relationship like that. I’m so happy for you 🙂
January 10, 2015 at 7:04 pm
It took longer than I thought it should have, but we were being prepared. It was worth the wait. As the time for us to be together again got closer, I nurtured thoughts like: something wonderful is about to happen! Keep the your vision strong as you take care of you. I’m imagining something wonderful for you.
January 10, 2015 at 8:27 pm
Although you have differences I think the respect and willingness to be flexible is what is important. I have read we look for qualities in others that we would like to have in ourselves. I know my husband has qualities that I do not and visa versa.
January 11, 2015 at 5:40 am
Deborah, you’ve hit on the key: qualities we would like to have. Things we want more of. We can complement each other that way, so the whole is stronger than the sum of the parts.
January 10, 2015 at 8:48 pm
It sounds like a perfect match!! 🙂
January 11, 2015 at 5:42 am
My first urge is to say nothing is perfect. But then it could be perfect in its imperfections. Yes, that’s it!
January 11, 2015 at 1:08 pm
🙂 Maybe that is what we are supposed to realize!!! Beautiful!
January 10, 2015 at 9:04 pm
This is a great post JoAnne, I like how you are both so aware of each other and I hope this brings you many more years of watching the occasional film, eating healthy and having shared fun.
January 11, 2015 at 5:44 am
Thank you! It does take some work. I appreciate the good hopes.