Anything is Possible!

With Hope, Faith, and Perseverance


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Pay Attention to the Signs

danger

Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt is the word, “sign.”

Our bodies will give us signs. Like acid reflux or upset stomach when stressed. At least mine does. My acid reflux is always an indicator of stress, or eating too fast. I ignored the signs that my post-divorce rebound, aka, the “rebound from hell,” was not a good fit. I ignored the fact that he drank a lot. (Maybe I could help him with that – OMG was I messed up!) I ignored the jealousy – accusations that I must have been with someone when he couldn’t get up with me, or “out of pocket,” as he later called it. Oh, how I hate that expression and the memory of it.

I ignored the little voice in my head that maybe I could do better. I was seriously wounded.  My body gave me other signs too – a mysterious female ailment that would not get better.  My body knew he wasn’t good for me.

But years after the rebound from hell ended, my body got better. Eventually, I knew I was better off not dating anyone. So, after five years of celibacy, I was hesitant. Fearful. Nervous, yet excited about the man from my long ago past. My high school sweetheart. People change a lot in 39 years, I told myself. BE CAREFUL!

But God gave me signs that had to do with timing. Should I give it away? Did I give it away in an earlier post? It’s in my book which comes out sometime this summer. Let me just say that I had made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t do something until something else happened. The timing of when my high school sweetheart re-appeared fit right in to this promise. And there was another promise about a criminal background check before falling in love again. The way he responded when I told him that was a sign of honor and respect.

When some one honors you and helps you keep your promises to yourself, that means a lot. My body felt comfortable and safe with him. Excited and aroused, too, after five years of celibacy. But I had learned that you can’t trust just that kind of arousal. I had to have the safety and comfort, too. And respect. I’ve read that respect is really important to men and being listened to is most important to women. Well, I can tell you that I want respect, too. And joy. And feeling safe. All those things are part of being loved and loving.

If I had not found all those good qualities in another person, I was prepared to stay single, celibate, and solo, with friends and dogs for company. Being willing to stay single was my strength. I had finally learned to honor, love, and respect myself enough to be in a healthy relationship.

I just have to bend the rules and enter another stream of consciousness to add this sign which I forgot about. Dang. I wish I’d written about this sign. Well, another time….

sign at Summerland key wharf

socsbadge2016-17

Stream of Consciousness Saturday is brought to you by Linda G. Hill. For more information, just follow this sign:

https://lindaghill.com/2017/06/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-1717/

Here are the SOCS Rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!

 


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Opposites Attract, But Similarities Sustain

socs-badge

Opposites do attract. We’re often drawn to partners or friends who have qualities we lack. This can be a good thing, up to a point. If there are too may opposites, there’s going to be trouble.

When we were dating (for the second time) my husband confessed, “I’m allergic to fun.” I thought he was kidding. He works hard and is hard on himself. I can understand this, but my desire for myself is to have more fun. We had lots of fun when we dated, getting to know each other again; the butterflies and excitement of falling in love tends to make us giddy and overlook things.

Fortunately, we also asked a lot of questions to find out if there were any deal breakers. To find out if there was  enough common ground.

But back to the opposites. He says he is not artistic. And he’s not when it comes to free flowing things, improvisation, dance, playful art. I am more artistic. He is more precise. I tend to be scattered. He is more focused. (I’ve come to believe that’s mostly a guy thing.) He is great with numbers, me not so much.

I love to sing. My husband stopped singing in his late teens after being ridiculed. When we found each other again, he didn’t sing at all. But he’s been working on this for a couple years, and now sings in our church choir with me. He knows how I love to sing and wants to be with me enough to overcome his fear of singing. He’s also overcoming his fear of swimming in deep water due to a close call a long time ago.  I love to swim. He was a fire fighter and pilot, so he’s not at all afraid of heights like I am. I get motion sickness at the drop of a hat. But when he gets a chance to fly a plane again, I’ll be there with him, right after I take my Dramamine.

I used to be addicted to TV and movies. My husband doesn’t watch TV and rarely goes to movies. But he did like Interstellar which we saw together. It’s a good thing I took my daughter with me to see Wild. And there’s no way he’ll want to go see Into the Woods. But that’s okay.

Even though opposites attract, similarities are necessary for a happy, long lasting relationship.

My husband and I both love dogs. We  like to grow things in dirt and eat healthy. While we both partied plenty in our younger days, we’re now conservative in our lifestyles, though not our beliefs. We are responsible, frugal and conscientious. We believe in giving back to the community. We search for meaning in spirituality. We’re both Christians, but we’re open minded enough to respect the beliefs of others. We respect each others differences. We listen to each other. We both like garlic.

These are important similarities. Without them, it wouldn’t work.

And it’s working quite well.

 

This week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday Post was the word: “opposite.” If you’d like to join in the fun, visit:

http://lindaghill.com/2015/01/09/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-january-1015/

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. Have fun!


3 Comments

It’s Okay to Marry Your Soul Mate.

1972 b&w kiss

Warnings not to marry your soul mate are trying to grab our attention lately.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brooke-hampton/dont-marry-your-soul-mate_b_6004132.html?love–sex

I let it go at first, but then said, “Wait a minute. It’s okay to marry your soul mate.” There are plenty of people who marry their soul mates and end up with long lasting, romantic relationships. It’s quite possible to be happily married to your soul mate, especially with some groundwork:

1. Look before you Leap. Unless you’ve known each other for a really long time, take the time to investigate your potential mate. When David and I started dating again, (thirty-nine years later) I told him a friend of mine was doing a background check on him. It was a promise I’d made to myself. He said he wanted to help me keep that promise and immediately offered to give me his social security number and anything else I needed. It takes time to find out what someone’s really like. It’s okay to follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

2. Develop and practice good communication skills. We have two ears and one mouth suggesting we should listen twice as much as we talk. Listen with objectivity, ask open questions, be assertive (not aggressive), and look for win-win solutions whenever possible.

3. Don’t expect perfection. A friend’s mother told her to “find a set of faults you can live with,” so she never got married. I can understand that. It’s okay not to get married. But if you do want to marry someone, know your deal breakers. Discuss your deal breakers.  Do your best to make sure you each talk about the things you want to work on.

4. Respect and support each other as individuals. I’ve never liked that expression about your “better half.” I’m not a half of a person, and neither is my husband.  We like sharing our hopes and dreams with each other, whether they’re dreams we have in common or as individuals. David is not that interested in creative arts or singing, and I’m not that interested in aqua-ponics or airplanes, but we support and encourage each other’s goals.

If you know my “About Me” story,  you might be thinking: she’s practically a newlywed. So, how does she know?

I know because I’ve seen true soul mate love last for other couples.  I know because I learned a few things after being married 20 years the first time, not to mention 20 something years as a counselor. I know, because of how my soul mate came back to me when the time was perfect.

The idea is that we  can have lots of “soul mates” who teach us what we need to learn seems to water down the meaning of the term. Those other people were teachers and guides. To me the term soul mate means more than that. Maybe we can have more than one, but not a whole slew of them.

What do you think?