It’s ridiculous how grown people argue (or worse) with abandon over political entrenchments, seeing the one who disagrees as an enemy. God, help me not do that, because it can be a slippery slope.
It’s okay to disagree as long as it’s done with respect. It’s okay to present a different perspective, as long as we are willing to listen to different perspectives. There is always some kind of common ground where we can meet each other. It might be hard to find, but it’s there. When we find our common ground, whether it’s children, music, dogs, caring, or just being human, we can begin to work together.
Thanks to Lauren for today’s #JusJoJan prompt: “ridiculous.” Just jot it January is brought to us by our host, Linda Hill. For more info, visit Linda’s post HERE.
I’m dropping in for Just Jot it January today. I might not do this every day in January, but today is a day I feel like jotting. Our prompt for today comes from Janet, and it is the word: “abundance.” Thanks, Janet! Great word!
We have an abundance of wind here in the Carolinas. Some places, including Alabama, have an abundance of snow. I have an abundance of material things and told my daughter I didn’t want anything store-bought for Christmas, so she cleaned my bathroom! It was my favorite Christmas gift this year for sure!
Our host Linda indicated I could go back into my drafts for JJJ, so I came upon the piece below. Maybe I’ve shared this before, and maybe I haven’t, but either way, I believe it’s worth sharing again.
“For all of you who aren’t sure, it is possible to be gay and Christian. It’s also possible to believe in God and science. It is possible to be pro-choice and anti-abortion. It is equally possible to be a feminist and love and respect men. It’s possible to have privilege and be discriminated against, to be poor and have a rich life, to not have a job and still have money. It is possible to believe in sensible gun control legislation and still believe in one’s right to defend one’s self, family, and property. It’s possible to be anti-war and pro-military. It is possible to love thy neighbor and despise his actions. It is possible to advocate Black Lives Matter and still be pro police. It is possible to not have an education and be brilliant. It is possible to be Muslim and also suffer at the hands of terrorists. It is possible to be a non-American fighting for the American dream. It is possible to be different and the same. It is possible to be spiritual and not follow a religion. We are all walking contradictions of what “normal” looks like. Let humanity and love win.”
(I found this on Facebook showing it is possible to find something good on Facebook.)
All or nothing thinking divides us. The world is much more complex than black or white, or even gray. There are many more colors and color combinations. When we respect the gifts of our diversity, the world will become more beautiful.
Here’s wishing you an abundance of peace, joy, and possibility, in 2022!
For more January jottings on abundance or other topics, visit Linda’s post by clicking this link:
We have much deep healing work to do in the United States. The tension that has been building for years has revealed itself at the level that I hope it wakes us up. What might help us heal as a nation and ultimately, as a human society? Here are a few possibilities I want cultivate in my own attitudes and actions:
1. Try to state facts without exaggeration. Don’t twist facts. For example, whole cities weren’t burned down during the 2020 “riots.” Maybe whole city blocks, but not whole cities. State opinions with words like, “I think,” or “I believe….” rather than facts. It’s a fact that Joe Biden was confirmed as the next president of the US. If you believe there was voter fraud, that is an opinion that was not substantiated by the courts.
2. Be respectful. Resist the urge to resort to name calling or write things that will increase division. I can resist the urge to “like” posts on social media that reinforce division. Try to speak and write words of healing and understanding. Part of healing can be to express our feelings and grief which can include denial, fear, and anger. Can we express our feelings without tearing down those that feel and believe differently? Yes. We can. it might be a challenge, but we are writers. We can figure it out.
3. Look for common ground. We can do this as individuals, asking questions for understanding. It might simply start with a love for animals or nature, or a common hobby, but we have to start somewhere. Look for the bipartisan issues.
4. Support media stories about healing and the goodness of humanity. I know they’re hard to find, but good news happens. Encourage media to make healing a priority. Ultimately, it’s up to each individual to make healing a conscious effort, every day.
5. Find the courage to change the things we can, namely, our own attitudes and actions. Ask questions with the goal of understanding rather than debate. We can find the bridges that unite us, places where we can meet each other – sometimes in the middle, sometimes compromising at different points along the way.
For more information on healing division, visitBraver Angels.
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Today’s prompt for Just Jot January was “twisted,” so I included the word “twist.” For more on JusJoJan, visit:
In Saturday’s stream of consciousness, I mentioned my participation in a local BraverAngelszoom debate. Below is my three minute speech opposed to the following debate “resolution”:
“Removing statues and monuments will erase important parts of our nation’s history.”
I was one of three people speaking the “con” side of the statement. We had fewer speaking in favor of the statement. One interesting point made by an African American woman disagreeing with the statement was that relocating statues to museums would likely give more opportunity for learning and discussion by visiting school groups, etc. She also talked about subliminal messages and healing.
Braver Angels seeks to depolarize America with workshops and debates intended to foster respect and understanding. We are encouraged to say what we believe and to speak from our own experience. After each prepared speech, people can ask questions of the speaker and responses can be up to one minute. If there’s time, we have “flash speeches” and share what we learned.
This first debate by our local group went well. There was concern from some that if we start removing statues, that other statues and monuments, like the Lincoln Memorial, could also be removed. My question to this was to ask if the speaker thought some statues could be more harmful than others, and that seemed to be a point of agreement. All statues are not the same.
Now, for my speech. (Respectful responses from your own experience and feelings are welcome. )
Hello, thank you for the opportunity to speak this evening
If we remove a statue or monument, we are not erasing history. We cannot change what has already happened. History will still be available…in books, films, and on the internet. Many statues and monuments can be re-located to museums where a much of history is saved, or to private historical sites, cemeteries, or to the families of the artists who created aolstatues.
When I first read the debate resolution, I thought of the confederate statues I’ve seen in downtown Wilmington.
I’ve lived in Wilmington since 1980. All that time, I’ve felt very uncomfortable with the confederate statues glorifying men who fought for slavery. One of the things that bothers me most is the prominence of the statues. If you live anywhere near downtown, you’ve seen these statues on a regular basis. What kind of message do they send?
One example is the prominent 8-foot-tall statue of George Davis recently removed from Market Street. George Davis was the last attorney general of the confederacy. The pedestal describes George Davis with glowing words like “stainless integrity, virtue, refinement, and the true heart of chivalry in southern manhood. Is this an accurate portrayal of history? It leaves out the fact that George Davis gave a “… public speech1861 in which he argued that North Carolina should secede from the United States …. to protect (in his words) the economic interest in “chattel slavery.” Chattel slavery in which human beings are bought and sold as property.
I am deeply troubled that this man has been celebrated and honored as a hero for so many years.
When I’ve passed by this statue, and the one on third street honoring the soldiers of the confederacy, my feelings of discomfort and embarrassment linger. I want to cringe at what they represent…..
I can only imagine what black and brown citizens think and feel when they’ve passed these statues.
We need to ask ourselves, what people and ideals do we want to honor? Do we want to promote the ideals of the confederacy? Do we want to honor men who fought for slavery and the oppression of a whole race of human beings?
Or do we want to promote values of equality, equity, community, and inclusivity? ……
The statues representing confederate soldiers and statesmen have stood for many years in prominent positions in our city. But times are changing.
Maya Angelou wrote: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
It’s time now for our city to move forward, and to honor positive and inclusive ideals.
“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “ect.” Find a word with the letters “ect” in it, and base your post on that word. (Not to be confused with “et cetera,” which is “etc.”) Enjoy!”
This might be short. My computer is in the shop with a dying hard drive and its info being transferred to a newer model. It’s been a long time since I did a post from my phone….
I’m not perfect, but I deserve respect. RESPECT. Doesn’t everyone deserve respect? My short, PC answer is, “Yes.” But I’m not 100% sure. There are few things I’m 100% sure of, because, after all, anything is possible.
I could say respectfully, “No thanks. I’m not interested.” But if someone keeps bugging me after I’ve said, no, I might say, “Hell, no.” Or Leave. Me. Alone. If I don’t call them demeaning names, that’s somewhat respectful.
You know who deserves respect? Mother Earth. I don’t have respect for people who disrespect her.
A long time ago, I read a book called, Ecotopia. It was about a culture of sustainability and respect for Mother Earth that took hold in a big way in Northern California, Oregon, and Washington state. It was a eutopian novel. So Northern CA, Oregon, and Washington state divorced the United States and formed Ecotopia. Maybe this book was ahead of its time. Or maybe we’ll all start waking up and unite for our planet and no body will need to get a divorce from the country. Either way, I hope it’s respectful. Could we have a respectful revolution? They had a “civil war” once. No, let’s not go there. The times they are a changin’. That’s for sure.
My Saturday morning will be spent planting trees in the inner city. Because that is something within my power. Little pockets of Ecotopia. Tiny but teeming with possibly.
It’ll probably be late Saturday afternoon before I get my new computer and catch up with all the interesting ect streams.
Happy Saturday!
Ha! I just realized that Ecotopia does not contain ect. Well that’s the way the stream of consciousness tumbles, fumbles, and flows.
Here’s something new! Today’s prompt for Saturday Stream of Consciousness is:
“ask someone else.” Either ask someone for a prompt word or, if you can’t, turn on a TV or a radio and choose a word from the first sentence you hear.
(Linda Hill)
It’s new to me anyway. Stepping a little outside the box, I decided to ask for prompts on my Facebook author page. It was an experiment since I believe FB suppresses business and author pages so we’ll buy ads which so far have not worked well enough for me… but I did get two prompt suggestions, so I’m happy.
My first prompt for which I am thankful was, “Rejoice.” It’s the word in one of my favorite Christmas hymns. That word I often/sometimes have trouble hitting the high note on. O Come, O come, Emanuel….. REJOICE! REJOICE! Emanuel shall come to thee o Israel. Emanuel means God is with us. REJOICE!
The second prompt, for which I am also thankful, was “Conditional.” Hmmmm. Interesting. Go ahead and REJOICE, as long as no one gets hurt. Rejoice all you want, but the dishes still need to get done and the trash needs to get put out. But wait! what if we can and do rejoice whilst we are taking out the trash? Like I rejoice when I donate stuff. Rejoice to be lightening the load. Jesus lightens my load. Why not rejoice in the midst of conditions? I rejoice that I know how to be conditional.
I knew that if I ever married again, it would be conditional upon finding a partner who loves dogs. Okay, he loves me, too but that kinda goes without saying. He also had to respect me. Respect was a big issue when my daughter was a teenager. I would listen to her on the condition that she not yell at me and speak with a respectful tone. My love for her was and is unconditional, but my listening had conditions. My presence had conditions. If someone yells at me or is disrespectful, now I can walk away if only to another room. I can limit my time with people who are toxic depending (conditional?) on how toxic they are. I can love someone from a distance. Occasional distance if they are a little toxic. Big distance if they are frequently toxic. I rejoice that my daughter is respectful and doesn’t yell at me anymore (not that I can tell) cause she’s grown and out on her own.
One of my goals for 2019 is to buy a house in the mountains so I can visit my son and his family more often. This is somewhat conditional on selling my parent’s house (the house that was my parents’). It’s a flexible condition. An ideal. Some conditions are negotiable and some are not. When I sell the house that was my parents’ I will be a little sad. I will probably cry. But I will also rejoice! When I buy a house in the mountains, I will rejoice!
Feeling how you will feel when you get your heart’s desire worked for me while I was looking/waiting for my soulmate. I imagined comfort and joy. Rejoice for all the blessings coming your way – with or without conditions. Rejoice anyway!
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Stream of Consciousness Saturday is brought to you by Linda G. Hill. For more information, and more streams, visit:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. I will post the prompt here on my blog every Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The,’” or will simply be a single word to get you started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read all of them! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later or go to the previous week by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
“We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”
Abraham Lincoln
Better Angels is a “bipartisan citizen’s movement to unify (a) divided nation.” The organization builds alliances between people with very different beliefs. The goal is to reconnect through respectful communication. With the growing polarization in the US (and perhaps other countries) we desperately need to listen with respect, listen to understand, and look for common ground. In the following video, we see people who are very different politically, yet they build bridges by listening with courage, respect, and patience.
(Note: There are some brief, unpleasant scenes starting 1 minute and 8 seconds into the video with ABC news showing the problem of polarization, so if you want to skip over that part, go to 1:48 to get back to the solution.)
It’s interesting that in a longer video I watched, the closing media commentary included the report that both sides blame the media for polarization of “hyper-partisanship.”
I appreciate this program because it shows we can do better. We can learn to communicate and listen with respect even when we strongly disagree.
Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt is the word, “sign.”
Our bodies will give us signs. Like acid reflux or upset stomach when stressed. At least mine does. My acid reflux is always an indicator of stress, or eating too fast. I ignored the signs that my post-divorce rebound, aka, the “rebound from hell,” was not a good fit. I ignored the fact that he drank a lot. (Maybe I could help him with that – OMG was I messed up!) I ignored the jealousy – accusations that I must have been with someone when he couldn’t get up with me, or “out of pocket,” as he later called it. Oh, how I hate that expression and the memory of it.
I ignored the little voice in my head that maybe I could do better. I was seriously wounded. My body gave me other signs too – a mysterious female ailment that would not get better. My body knew he wasn’t good for me.
But years after the rebound from hell ended, my body got better. Eventually, I knew I was better off not dating anyone. So, after five years of celibacy, I was hesitant. Fearful. Nervous, yet excited about the man from my long ago past. My high school sweetheart. People change a lot in 39 years, I told myself. BE CAREFUL!
But God gave me signs that had to do with timing. Should I give it away? Did I give it away in an earlier post? It’s in my book which comes out sometime this summer. Let me just say that I had made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t do something until something else happened. The timing of when my high school sweetheart re-appeared fit right in to this promise. And there was another promise about a criminal background check before falling in love again. The way he responded when I told him that was a sign of honor and respect.
When some one honors you and helps you keep your promises to yourself, that means a lot. My body felt comfortable and safe with him. Excited and aroused, too, after five years of celibacy. But I had learned that you can’t trust just that kind of arousal. I had to have the safety and comfort, too. And respect. I’ve read that respect is really important to men and being listened to is most important to women. Well, I can tell you that I want respect, too. And joy. And feeling safe. All those things are part of being loved and loving.
If I had not found all those good qualities in another person, I was prepared to stay single, celibate, and solo, with friends and dogs for company. Being willing to stay single was my strength. I had finally learned to honor, love, and respect myself enough to be in a healthy relationship.
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I just have to bend the rules and enter another stream of consciousness to add this sign which I forgot about. Dang. I wish I’d written about this sign. Well, another time….
Stream of Consciousness Saturday is brought to you by Linda G. Hill. For more information, just follow this sign:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
Opposites do attract. We’re often drawn to partners or friends who have qualities we lack. This can be a good thing, up to a point. If there are too may opposites, there’s going to be trouble.
When we were dating (for the second time) my husband confessed, “I’m allergic to fun.” I thought he was kidding. He works hard and is hard on himself. I can understand this, but my desire for myself is to have more fun. We had lots of fun when we dated, getting to know each other again; the butterflies and excitement of falling in love tends to make us giddy and overlook things.
Fortunately, we also asked a lot of questions to find out if there were any deal breakers. To find out if there was enough common ground.
But back to the opposites. He says he is not artistic. And he’s not when it comes to free flowing things, improvisation, dance, playful art. I am more artistic. He is more precise. I tend to be scattered. He is more focused. (I’ve come to believe that’s mostly a guy thing.) He is great with numbers, me not so much.
I love to sing. My husband stopped singing in his late teens after being ridiculed. When we found each other again, he didn’t sing at all. But he’s been working on this for a couple years, and now sings in our church choir with me. He knows how I love to sing and wants to be with me enough to overcome his fear of singing. He’s also overcoming his fear of swimming in deep water due to a close call a long time ago. I love to swim. He was a fire fighter and pilot, so he’s not at all afraid of heights like I am. I get motion sickness at the drop of a hat. But when he gets a chance to fly a plane again, I’ll be there with him, right after I take my Dramamine.
I used to be addicted to TV and movies. My husband doesn’t watch TV and rarely goes to movies. But he did like Interstellar which we saw together. It’s a good thing I took my daughter with me to see Wild. And there’s no way he’ll want to go see Into the Woods. But that’s okay.
Even though opposites attract, similarities are necessary for a happy, long lasting relationship.
My husband and I both love dogs. We like to grow things in dirt and eat healthy. While we both partied plenty in our younger days, we’re now conservative in our lifestyles, though not our beliefs. We are responsible, frugal and conscientious. We believe in giving back to the community. We search for meaning in spirituality. We’re both Christians, but we’re open minded enough to respect the beliefs of others. We respect each others differences. We listen to each other. We both like garlic.
These are important similarities. Without them, it wouldn’t work.
And it’s working quite well.
This week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday Post was the word: “opposite.” If you’d like to join in the fun, visit:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
I let it go at first, but then said, “Wait a minute. It’s okay to marry your soul mate.” There are plenty of people who marry their soul mates and end up with long lasting, romantic relationships. It’s quite possible to be happily married to your soul mate, especially with some groundwork:
1. Look before you Leap. Unless you’ve known each other for a really long time, take the time to investigate your potential mate. When David and I started dating again, (thirty-nine years later) I told him a friend of mine was doing a background check on him. It was a promise I’d made to myself. He said he wanted to help me keep that promise and immediately offered to give me his social security number and anything else I needed. It takes time to find out what someone’s really like. It’s okay to follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
2. Develop and practice good communication skills. We have two ears and one mouth suggesting we should listen twice as much as we talk. Listen with objectivity, ask open questions, be assertive (not aggressive), and look for win-win solutions whenever possible.
3. Don’t expect perfection. A friend’s mother told her to “find a set of faults you can live with,” so she never got married. I can understand that. It’s okay not to get married. But if you do want to marry someone, know your deal breakers. Discuss your deal breakers. Do your best to make sure you each talk about the things you want to work on.
4. Respect and support each other as individuals. I’ve never liked that expression about your “better half.” I’m not a half of a person, and neither is my husband. We like sharing our hopes and dreams with each other, whether they’re dreams we have in common or as individuals. David is not that interested in creative arts or singing, and I’m not that interested in aqua-ponics or airplanes, but we support and encourage each other’s goals.
If you know my “About Me” story, you might be thinking: she’s practically a newlywed. So, how does she know?
I know because I’ve seen true soul mate love last for other couples. I know because I learned a few things after being married 20 years the first time, not to mention 20 something years as a counselor. I know, because of how my soul mate came back to me when the time was perfect.
The idea is that we can have lots of “soul mates” who teach us what we need to learn seems to water down the meaning of the term. Those other people were teachers and guides. To me the term soul mate means more than that. Maybe we can have more than one, but not a whole slew of them.
Raindrops Hanging from Cedar
Anything is Possible! 