Anything is Possible!

With Love, Hope, and Perseverance


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SoCS: Pushing Through and Ready for Healing

Our prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “starts with or contains ‘cel.’” Find a word that begins with or contains “cel” and use it in your post any way you’d like. Have fun!

The more tired I am, the more I forget where I put my cell phone. It’s been a strange couple of days out of the ordinary with back spasms, a visit from my son and granddaughter and our church artisan fair scheduled for Saturday. My cell phone got lost at least five times in the past week. It’s always in the house, and sometimes hiding in my purse, except for last week when I left it at choir practice. It always turns up eventually. Doctor/nurse practitioner wrote me a rx for a muscle relaxer and said it’s okay to take four ibuprofen, just not on an empty stomach. Maybe that will be enough to get me through the artisan fair for which I have reserved a table to share my wares and creations. We shall see…..

I wrote the above Friday. Made it through the artisan fair. My back pain was manageable. We had a good turnout, and I sold several pieces of art. Now it’s Saturday evening, and all I want to do is sleep after watching some easy TV.

There’s a meditation that a reiki practitioner gave me a few years ago. There were four steps which I don’t entirely recall, but the first line was, “I am open at the cellular level.” The rest of it included, expanding and then releasing, probably with some deep breathing along the way. Looking forward to some rest, cellular healing and releasing the tension in my back. I might not even make it to church tomorrow. Who knows? Was the push through worth it? I think so.

I’ll probably be slow in responding here on WP. It will take a while to catch up, but I could not, not do SoCS.

One of the pieces I sold today was a print I’ve had for a while. It was a zoom and crop of a bigger piece painted on wood.

Guardian Angel

I also sold some mermaids and mimosa angel ornaments like these:

~~~

For more streams of the cel kind, along with SoCS rules

visit our host, Linda Hill by clicking HERE.


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SoCS: A Lost Covid test, Silent GERD, and the Hacking Cough is Going, Going…

 Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “me.” Find a word that starts with “me” or use the word “me” as the theme of your post. Have fun!

Meaningful posts should not always be about me, but that’s where my stream of consciousness sometimes goes. How about some meaningful health information that has recently come to my attention?

I’ve had this cough for at least three weeks after the acute phase of whatever virus attacked me during the first week of September. The cough is still with me, but it’s much better due to various medications aimed at loosening phlegm and suppressing the hacking. I never thought I’d be so excited about producing phlegm since the cough was so dry for so long. In googling dry coughs, I had read that acid reflux/aka GERD, could cause this kind of cough. I dismissed this since I have not had any GERD symptoms in quite some time.

I had a covid test on Thursday Sept 22, and they LOST my test! The sample didn’t make it to the lab and apparently went into some kind of black hole. On Tuesday, I went back for another test which turned out to be negative like the one on Sept 5. The cough being persistent, my nurse practitioner told the nurse to tell me to try omeprazole for acid reflux since I have a history of GERD. The nurse told me she had “silent GERD” with no symptoms and the omeprazole has helped her cough and sinus issues. I appreciate helping professionals sharing these kinds of personal experiences. In counselor training we were often cautioned about self-disclosure, but sometimes it is meaningful. I figured I might as well try the GERD/reflux meds being very tired of the annoying cough.

I started the OTC GERD medication on Wednesday and my cough was significantly better that day and today. Maybe it was just time, but maybe the nurse and FNP were right. Maybe “silent GERD” can cause a cough or make it linger. Maybe I’ll keep taking the anti-GERD meds along with keeping my Ricolas on hand for the cough which continues to flare up now and then.

Wherever I go, they go.

Meanwhile, Hurricane/Tropical Storm Ian is making landfall again (as I write this on Friday) and bringing lots of rain and wind to the Carolinas. I’m praying for the folks in Florida and glad Linda’s son is okay as well as our friends and relatives down there.

The oldest part of our fence blew down in the storm. I had it propped up with various pieces of junk. We knew we’d have to replace it soon, which now means tomorrow if we can get the materials. Marley will have to be on leash until it’s fixed.

Old Fence Blew Down

We finally made it to the beach last week. I didn’t swim, but the sea air did me good.

The bird is flying away like my cough…. going…. going….

Last week, I shared a photo of my son with his baby sister. I had completely forgotten to check another photo album and found more:

~~~

For more streams of consciousness and rules,

visit our host, Linda Hill by clicking HERE.


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SoCS: Changing Thoughts on Diamond Rings, The Rings of Power, and Home Security, plus the Moonhaven Dance and my Latest Artwork

Today’s prompt for SoCS is, ring.

In my first engagement and marriage, I didn’t get an engagement ring. We were poor and that was okay with me, being a rebellious, nonconformist. I picked my own flowers for the first wedding. Having grown up in the 70s, I did not care about such things as fancy store bought flowers. A friend made my dress. Over the years, there was a shift. Not a big shift, but I loved getting an engagement ring in my second engagement ten years ago. The funny thing is that I don’t wear it a lot. I take it off when I go to the beach or the sanctuary where the roosters peck at it. The single diamond is set high and tends to scratch things. I wear it for dress up and leave it on till I go to the beach or sanctuary. And now, it’s not important to me as I seek simplicity and have my favorite thrift store jewelry for dress up. Though it is important to me that David was able to provide an engagement ring for me.

I got Amazon Prime for a free month to watch The Rings of Power. Being a huge fan of LOTR, I was excited to see the young Galadriel who I’ve learned is obsessed with finding and killing Sauron. I probably would have appreciated that more when I was younger and desired to save the world. After watching two episodes of The Rings, I have discovered that the orcs scare me more than they used to. Maybe it’s because they were living under someone’s house. I’ve decided not to watch any more of The Rings until I am recovered from my mystery virus. There’s still a nagging cough and feeling tired. It had become more important what I put into my body and mind. I want the pretty stuff with the elves. BBC has the first episode of Moonhaven, and I’m enjoying that. It’s not all pretty, but there’s a lot of pretty in the first episode to tickle this old hippie’s fancy.

Home security is something that’s been on my mind more. I’d like to have a camera and motion sensor at the front door at least. Don’t need a big complicated system. Maybe Ring would work. I don’t know. We got a motion sensor light with a battery and put it up over the front door, but it didn’t work, so I returned it. That was several months ago, so I guess it’s not that important. I just won’t think about the orcs. I need to focus on getting better and stronger. Maybe I’ll get a sword. (Just kidding.) Until then, there’s a baseball bat, a fenced yard, and a big dog who is secretly friendly to everyone.

Happy, healing thoughts. That’s what I need. The mysterious dance looks nice. But Moonhaven has plenty of secrets.

Here’s some art I did inspired by a cloud:

“Rising” by Joanna of the Forest

~~~

For more about Stream of Consciousness Saturday,

visit out host Linda G. Hill by clicking HERE.


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SoCS: Kinder, Gentler Motivation

Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is starts with “u.” Find a word that starts with the letter “u” and use it however you’d like. Bonus points if it’s the first word in your post. Enjoy!

“Use it or lose it,” was the first thing I thought about after reading the prompt. I believe this is true, up to a point. There’s a fine line between use and overuse. With osteoporosis, osteoarthritis, scoliosis, plantar fasciitis, and heel spurs, I have to be careful and look for the right kind of use (exercise) without overdoing it. All those ailments sound like a lot, but they’re not that serious if I find the right self-care balance.

I’ve figured out that if I do my foot exercises (mostly flexing), wear shoes with lots of cushioning (love my Oofos) and don’t walk on pavement much, my feet are able to take me on walks around the neighborhood and maybe a little hiking in the woods or walking on the beach. If I overdo (overuse) my feet, I have to ice them and rest some.

The back balance between use and overuse is a little trickier. Regular exercise is important, but it’s easy to strain a muscle, especially doing yard work which I really enjoy. My daughter just started selling essential oils and I’ve found I love the Deep Blue stick which is a roll on with gentle cool/warmth instead of the burn of some popular topical analgesics. But enough on that. I don’t want to do a commercial.

Another motivational quote I’m reminded of is “What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” That may be true up to a point. Stress can kill over time. Stress can cause stomach and other gastrointestinal problems, all kinds of physical problems over time. Cortisol…. you can look it up. A little stress is good. A little stress here and there does make us stronger if we learn how to cope. That applies to both physical and mental stress, but too much can kill us. Being in an unhealthy relationship or toxic job can take years off our lives. In 2016 I had been saying for years, “I’m not going to let this job kill me.” Thankfully I got out in 2017. Now, I’m healing, reclaiming those years.

The “motivational” quote I really hate is, “Go big or go home.” Maybe I’m hearing that wrong, but maybe I did good to just show up. Have you seen this on a T shirt? I want one.

Sorry I’m late.

I didn’t want to come.

So far, I’ve never actually said this out loud, but I must want to, because it’s so funny. It’s an introvert thing.

I no longer have to make A’s on my report card. Thank God I don’t have job evaluations anymore.

It’s okay if some people want to go big and excel at a sport, or job, or talent, but we don’t need to make ourselves sick or crazy. Sometimes, I’m on time. Sometimes I’m late. Sometimes I leave early. Sometimes I don’t go. Sometimes, I do.

Instead of “Go big or go home,” how about,

Be nice or go home.

Be nice or apologize.

Okay, you don’t have to be nice, just don’t be mean.

Play fair or take a time out.

I like time outs. I can carry a blanket in my car for time outs. Or I’ll go play with the dog. Any dog. Or the goats and chickens….

Here’s a video of me at Blueberry Lane Farm Animal Sanctuary with Delilah and Amos who I keep calling Simon, but doesn’t care. I showed up and brought him lunch.

There are 2 pigs, 3 sheep, 9 goats, 11 roosters and one hen at the sanctuary. The chickens have various levels of rehabilitation and housing. Amos has a foot handicap and currently lives with matriarchal goats, Delilah and Esther. He can see and crow with the other roosters.

Photos from my walks with Marley:

For more on Stream of Consciousness Saturday, visit out host, Linda G. Hill by clicking HERE.


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SoCS: For the Love of Pets

Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “a picture from wherever.” When you sit down to write your post, find a picture, whether in a magazine, newspaper, or even product packaging. Write whatever thought or emotion the picture provokes. Enjoy!

My daughter who is 29 has not lived here for years but sometimes magazines, like People, get delivered here for her that she did not order and does not want. I don’t want them either, but sometimes I flip through them. This ad at the back of the magazine stood out to me:

Can you imagine being in a domestic violence situation and not feeling you can escape because you can’t take your dog or cat with you? I don’t want to think about it too much, but this is a project I can get behind. Pets are family.

You can read more about The Purple Leash Project here.

I think if you donate, you get a purple leash. I don’t really need another leash, though I do like the color purple. I have a bunch of leashes along with collars, and other tools that a highly reactive dog needs. I never thought I’d want to try an “e collar,” but after David and I having injuries from Marley’s lunges, we’ve accepted this recommendation from the trainer.

We’ve made progress. Last night I walked Marley to the park by myself. On the way back, we saw a cat on the other side of the street. Marley was intensely interested. I could feel the tension in his body. My job is to stay calm and confident and to remember to use all my tools. He responded well to a firm, “LEAVE IT!” along with a collar vibration. The collar vibe goes to 100. He responds to 10 to 15 in the backyard but needs at least 20 to 30 on neighborhood walks depending on the situation. In time, we should be able to reduce these levels. It’s like a tens machine. I’m learning to be vigilant and avoid high risk situations. Without this tool, I don’t think we’d be able to safely walk in the neighborhood. Marley has pulled me down more than once, and David’s hand is still healing after surgery and ongoing PT after one of Marley’s lunges.

Speaking of healing, David is feeling better after eight days of covid. He still tires easily but is doing a little more every day. Miraculously, I have had two negative home tests and seem to have been spared any significant symptoms. We’ve been keeping our distance and, though we’re living in the same house, have missed close contact. I especially miss hugs which are about to resume. Marley has been getting more hugs lately since I’ve tested negative. I still don’t get right in his face yet.

Last week, I had stopped Marley from bringing his ancient, tattered ball in the house three times before going to get my phone to take this video. Each time he would drop the ball then pick it back up when I opened the door. The ball did not stay in the house.


And let’s not forget Mama Cat on her side of the house…

~~~

For more picturesque streams of consciousness, along with rules, etc.

visit out host, Linda G. Hill by clicking HERE.


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SoCS: Trials, Losses, and How Do We Heal?

Our prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “trail/trial.” Use one, use both, use them any way you’d like. Bonus points if you use both. Have fun! ….

There’s a song I like, except maybe for a couple of lines, called “Blessings.” Which lines, I won’t go into. Never mind that. But the chorus goes:

“What if your blessings come through raindrops?

What if your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you’re near?

What if trials in this life, are your mercies in disguise.”

It’s about how trials, disappointments, and challenges bring us closer to God. The song works well when applied to my divorce which, as I wrote about recently, turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

The problem now is that it does not seem to apply to the loss of a child. My heart and mind go to the parents who lost children to brutal, needless, senseless deaths by an 18-year-old who should never have been able to buy a gun and certainly not a weapon of war, in Texas.

I cannot imagine how those worst of trials can be a blessing. I don’t even know if the death of my sister, killed by a drunk driver on her 16th birthday, could have been a blessing to anyone, even with my parents’ dedicating the family room at the shelter in her memory. I don’t know how the loss of a child could be a blessing. Anything is possible, yes, but I would not say that to someone who has just lost a child. I would imagine the anger and overwhelming grief would be too much to even think of blessings, right now.

The husband of a teacher who was killed died from a heart attack – a broken heart – while preparing for his wife’s funeral. Joe and Irma Garcia had been married for 24 years. They had been high school sweethearts.

It’s so wrong. Wrong upon wrong, upon wrong, as we are finding out in the investigation.

Other countries have done better than the US when it comes to gun control and this type of murder. That’s for sure. There is a sickness in the heart of my country. (I just struck through “the heart of” because we have good hearts. Mostly.) Maybe we can recover from this sickness. Individual states have and can pass sensible gun laws. We can improve mental health services, address school dropout rates, etc., but I believe it’s going to take some kind of bigger shift. It’s complicated. Or maybe not.

I hope the investigations will lead to improvements. My hope is floundering a bit which is not typical. It will come as no surprise to most of my readers that I believe we need more balance between bad news and good news. That’s part of the sickness – a lack of balance.

Healing. How do we heal? Look for the good. Look for the true heroes, like teachers who continue to teach in schools, first responders who do what is necessary, leaders who have the courage to make changes for a more peaceful country, and a more peaceful world, parents who keep going after heartbreaking loss. Look for the heroes. Hold them up. Hold them in your heart. Keep them in your prayers. We can all do our part to nurture peace.

I know this is a rambling rant. Sometimes that’s what you get in the stream of consciousness. I confess I have gone back and edited a little. It was badly needed.

Maybe I should’ve written about hiking trails. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll put some in a gallery. There’s something coming to me about “The Peace of Wild Things” – a poem by Wendell Berry.

Below are some of my most recent photos from the Farm Animal Sanctuary

~~~

For more streams of consciousness and rules, visit our host, Linda Hill by following this trail: https://lindaghill.com/2022/05/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-28-2022/


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SoCS: Eyesight Declines as Hindsight Improves with Age

A true fortune

Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “clear.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

I like things to be clear. But sometimes we have to wait for the mud to settle. Clarity can take hours, weeks, months, or decades. It took almost 20 years for the clarity that my divorce that happened around the turn of the century turned out to be a good thing. Or maybe God turned it into a good thing. Twenty-two years ago, I was in shock. Devastated. Confused. Now, I am thankful. Everything worked out for the best. Not perfect, but the timing was perfect.

Hindsight is often much clearer than foresight or present sight. Physically, my sight is not very clear at all. Between the floaters and the early cataracts, plus scratches on my glasses, it’s a wonder I can get from point A to point B. But the brain is good at adapting – looking around the cloudy patches.

“All Clear,” is what I want to hear about Ukraine. So, people don’t have to hide, flee, or fear for their lives. I’m just shaking my head and praying for: All Clear all over the world. Anything is possible.

My first decade in the 21st century was a painstaking process of grieving, healing, and learning. Though it sometimes seems like it happened in the blink of an eye, I know that was not the case.

This became my song in the second decade of the 21st Century.

~~~

For more streams of consciousness and all the ruly and unruly things, visit our host, Linda Hill, who is clearly the best, by clicking HERE.


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Completing Herself

She had always said,

“He does not complete me.”

With disdain, she said,

“He is not my better half

And I am not his.”

We are whole people.

But when, after two decades,

He up and left,

A gaping wound,

Invisible to the naked eye,

Left her vulnerable.

It would have been better

If the wound was visible,

Bandaged with a white flag.

She thought it was healing well,

But the wound festered.

She tried to fill the emptiness with

Anything that remotely resembled love,

And the wound became infected.

Finally, finally, she stopped trying to fill the wound

With a person who would never be enough.

She looked for herself in the woods.

She looked for herself in the water.

She looked in friendship,

Human and nonhuman furry friends.

She looked to God who opened her arms and held her close.

Finally, finally, she felt completed by all these things:

The constants that had always been there for her.

And the wound healed.

She looked for herself in the woods…

I’ve shared this photo of me before, but it fits so well today, I had to share it again. It was taken by my daughter about 15 years ago.

~~~

Today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt was:

“comp.” Find a word that starts with or contains “comp” and use it in your post. Enjoy!

For more streams and SoCS rules, visit our host, Linda Hill, by clicking HERE.


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The Angel Disguised as a Nurse (Remembering My Sister on her Birthday)

In January, my great niece messaged me on Facebook from California. She asked me to send photos of my sister, Mary Kaye who died on her 16th birthday. In 1975, Mary Kaye, her boyfriend, and a friend were on their way to a restaurant for the birthday dinner, when a drunk driver ran into their car. My sister’s boyfriend was killed instantly. Mary Kaye died at the hospital. Their friend survived.

With gratitude, I sent several photos of Mary Kaye to my niece and hinted at my curiosity for her interest. My niece told me that her daughter (my great niece who I’ll refer to as D) had recently come home from the hospital after being seriously injured in a car accident. The following events were sent to me through messenger from D and my niece, M.

No family members had been allowed to go to the hospital to see D due to Covid. She felt scared and alone as the nurses prepared her for surgery. Then D saw one nurse standing nearby, not doing anything, just watching her. The nurse didn’t have a name tag on, she was just standing there, so beautiful and smiling at her. It made D feel safe. When she got out of surgery she saw the same nurse again, just standing there smiling at her. She didn’t think much about it but told her mom about the special nurse after she got home.

When D came home from the hospital, she still had a lot of healing to do and struggled with the loss of her friend who died in the accident. D and her mom were lying in bed looking at my pictures on Facebook. When D saw a picture of my sister Mary Kaye, she started crying.

“That’s her! That’s the nurse!” she said.

The nurse standing by to give comfort with her beautiful smile looked exactly like my sister Mary Kaye. We believe it was Mary Kaye, an angel disguised as a nurse.

Today is my sister’s birthday. If she had lived, Mary Kaye would be 64 today. As a teenager, she volunteered at a group home for handicapped children. In the third photo, she’s wearing her yellow and white striped volunteer uniform. If she had lived, I believe Mary Kaye would have been a nurse or worked with children. I am thankful to know that her spirit is alive and well.


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Healing a Broken Heart: Shower

Jumping back in with Bee’s “Love is in Da Blog” I went to one of my favorite singer/songwriters, James Taylor and listened more closely to “Shower the People.”

“Tell me how can you stand there with your broken heart, ashamed of playin’ the fool?”

One remedy for a broken heart is to shower the people you love with love.

“Oh, Father, mother, sister, brother, if it feels nice, don’t think twice.”

“If it feels nice,” is important. We don’t have to shower toxic people we love with love, because we don’t want to get that close to them. We can love them from a distance and wish them well. But the people who are good for us – those are the ones we can shower with love. We can extend this love showering to ourselves and the dogs, cats, and divine being(s) who love us no matter what. We can shower with kind words, quality time, a small favor, hugs, smiles, gratitude….. you name it!

How do you want to shower love?

Here’s a shower from me to you:

Happy Valentine’s Day!

“Love is in Da Blog” is hosted each day in February, by sweet Bee.

Click HERE for details!