Anything is Possible!

With Faith, Hope and Perseverance


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Love Letters From My Father

Dad with Baby mk and me (2)

 That’s me on the right, just in case you couldn’t tell.

After my father died, I found letters he’d written to me over the years and saved, like a journal, hidden in the old cabinet he used as an end table next to his recliner. I’m still processing the content of these letters. One of them is about why he didn’t come to my rescue when I wanted to come home from the college in the mountains.

This excerpt from my work in progress explains:

On my second day in Boone, before classes started, my roommate and I went to a pub not far from campus. I recognized Chris, a super brainy girl from my high school who’d already been at the college for a year. She waved to me and invited us to sit with her. My roommate saw some people she knew and went to sit with them. Chris made me feel welcome, and I started to feel comfortable with her. Maybe the beer helped. She asked me how I was doing.

“Well, I’m a little nervous,” I admitted.

“That’s normal. It’ll get better.”

“And I miss my boyfriend. I’m actually thinking of going back home.”

Chris looked thoughtful. “You know, you’ve got your whole life to go to college,” she said. “If you want to go home, it’s okay. It’s your decision.”

I was surprised by her response. I’d expected her to encourage me to stay. If this brainiac said it was okay to go home, then who was I to fight it any longer?

I called my parents and said I wanted to come home. Having just driven seven hours each way to bring me there a couple of days earlier, Dad refused to come get me. He didn’t say much, leading me to guess he was disgusted or at least disappointed.

Being stubborn, I managed to find another way home, but that’s another part of the story.

Fast forward to 43 years later when I read my Dad’s secret letters last week. One his letters revealed that the reason they didn’t come get me was because their old station wagon had a blow out on their trip home and left him “without a spare.” He wrote in Jan 2011: “Money was very short and, we had very little in the bank, and almost nothing on hand. I would have to have gotten permission from work…We also thought about what you were giving up….I have to admit my love for you was and still is a factor. After we made our decision not to come up, we went to bed, but I don’t think either one of us slept that night. The decision bothered us for years and we talked about it for even more years, even after you were married….I still felt guilty.”

I had no idea that money was a problem back then! I figured it was all about not wanting to bail me out when I should have stayed. I thought it was just because he was mad at me. I’ve carried that shame for years. And all this time, HE felt guilty for not coming to get me. I knew my parents loved me, but I didn’t know how much until I read these letters full of love.

Ive always wanted my father to be proud of me, even when I resented him. Even when I didn’t like his conservative beliefs. Even when I avoided him. I still, deep down, wanted him to be proud of me.

And what I’m finding out from his secret love letters is that he was.

love letters from dad (2)

Some things are worth waiting for. For a chance to win a free, signed copy of When God Says Wait, sign up for my monthly newsletter before March 21st by clicking the box on the side bar to the right, or just click here: http://eepurl.com/ch52KT


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Love Songs with a Twist

agape-candle

When I was single, one of the things that helped me tolerate and even embrace love songs that came on the radio  was to sing them to God. I know it sounds corny, but it helped. One day, on a solo road trip, that old song came on the radio: “Some Kinda Wonderful.” I was about to change the station, when I got an idea. I substituted the name of Jesus for “my baby.” Later in the song, I sang about my sweet loving savior.
And I’m telling you, it worked. Singing love songs to or about Jesus helped ease my loneliness.

Just try it. When a love song comes on, but you don’t have a romantic interest, or if you have one who’s not good for you, substitute the higher power or ideal love of your choice. Think of someone who’s always got your back.

 

Can I get a witness?

I realized I could do this with any love song. I even sang love songs to my dog who was always there for me. Cause you know what dog spelled backwards is. Dogs are like mirrors reflecting unconditional love. Natalie, at Sacred Touches, agrees.

jesse-howling

 

As I write in Trust the Timing:

“The dogs provided more comfort and less stress than the men I dated after the divorce “

 

 

 

You can sing love songs to any body you want to. Because love is valuable and wonderful . It doesn’t have to be romantic love, though romantic love is pretty darn special. I’m talking about caring for someone else so much that their happiness is just as important as your own. (Love your neighbor as yourself, not more than yourself.)

Whether it’s brotherly love, sisterly love, parental love, platonic love, romantic love, self love, dog love or AGAPE God love, love is good.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love,

JoAnne/JoAnna

 


13 Comments

Thank You!

SOCS

First, I want to say thank you to my followers, my supporters, my encouragers. This has been possibly the best year of my life. It’s certainly been a year of transition, and I’m grateful to have the support of so many people on WordPress and beyond. I’m grateful to be approaching 1000 WordPress followers! Officially: 927 WP followers and just over 1000 total blog followers.

When I first started blogging, I couldn’t imagine having 1000 followers, but one day at at time, one post at a a time adds up. It has been so fulfilling to grow here and get to know inspiring people – ordinary folks – I mean that in a good way – working through life’s challenges with grace and learning from each other. I appreciate each one of you, even if I don’t get over to visit as often as I’d like. You are part of my blogging support network, and I am grateful and honored to be part of this community.

2016 has been a year to remember. I took my first steps into retiring from my career as a counselor, and as the year ends, I’m ending the job of 30 years to pursue my creative dreams. And it is because of my first love who is also my last love and, as you probably know, I”m writing a book about that. Almost finished with the writing/revising part and getting ready to send it off to the line editor – one of the last steps in writing this particular book which I started about four years ago. Hard to believe I’ve been working on it so long, but I’ve heard of people taking longer, which is more than okay. It has become a labor of love.

I wish you all abundant blessings in 2017. May the stars shine upon you and may you dance with joy, rest in serenity, and sing your song. I look forward to a lasting, laughing, loving life of creating with you.

And now, my Stream of Consciousness brings us to this song which I dedicate to all those who are lonely. You never know what wonderful surprises are waiting around the corner.  In the mean time, love yourself well and know that you are deeply and profoundly loved by your creator, forever.

 

Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt was: “first/last,” with instructions to use one or both words, or find words that mean the same. Bonus points if you start your post with “first/beginning/start” etc. and end with “last/end” etc. Enjoy!

The Saturday Stream of Consciousness is brought to you by Linda Hill at:

https://lindaghill.com/2016/12/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-3116

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!

 


3 Comments

A Gift You Can’t Buy in the Store, Part 3: Pure, Unconditional Love

 

nativity-scene-1807602_1280

“Do you know how much I love you?” said God.

Baby Jesus offers love

With open arms,

Pure and unconditional.

Let go of your fear!

All these gifts I give to you.

Go forward in this love.

I found these words written on a piece of notebook paper in an old pile of papers. It was a dream I had last year, ready to be re-born.

But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary. You have found favor with God.

Luke 1:30


34 Comments

Four Years Ago…

afterglow-3

December 1, 2012

 

I never would have imagined that at the age of 56, after twenty years of marriage and the unexpected divorce that brought me to my knees, after the rebound from hell followed by the rebound from purgatory, and after five years of celibacy when I almost gave up on romance, that I would end up marrying the love of my life.

God had a plan all along. We just had to be ready. Not perfect, just ready to work on our stuff together.

Never give up.

You never know

what wonderful surprises

are waiting right around the corner!

 


8 Comments

Answered Prayers

SOC badge with butterfly

“If you could send me a soulmate who’s a good fit before Dad and Jesse die, I’d really appreciate it.”

That was a prayer I said to God somewhere around 2010. It went something like that, anyway.

The second part of the prayer was, “If you want me to stay single, then take away this desire for a partner.

It was five years ago, on July 15, 2011, that I had my second first date with the love of my life, my high school sweetheart who found me after 39 years of no contact.

Jesse, my golden retriever, passed away a couple years ago, and the soulmate who is definitely a good fit, helped me get through that.

Jesse swimming

This is one of the things I imagine Jesse doing in heaven.

Dad is still alive and strong in spirit. His legs are giving him a lot of trouble, and at 85, his body is wearing out as bodies are known to do.

I’m so thankful to God for bringing my partner to me when the time was perfect. I was ready to accept staying single if that was what God wanted. I knew I could accomplish a lot of good things being single, once I finally learned to not fall for anyone who asked me out, once I learned to love and honor myself enough to know I did not need a man to complete me. But God knew my loneliness and did not take away the desire. God brought my husband to me when we were both ready.

JoAnne and David to edit

If I’d known then, what I know now, I would have worried less, but then I would not have grown as much faith – faith that still has some growing to do.

Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday was: “if/then.” We were to begin our post with the word “If,” and for bonus points, end with a phrase containing the word “then.”

If you want to read more Stream of Consciousness writing, then visit Linda’s blog:

https://lindaghill.com/2016/07/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-1616/

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!


9 Comments

Love Prevails

blue rescue  (2)

Art by JoAnne Silvia

Angel armies guard the grieving

weeping for their sons and daughters.

How long do we wait for love to prevail?

For thirteen years he prayed

For his father to accept him

and not despise the way he loves.

He reached past the harsh words

and called again on Father’s Day.

Perhaps the prayers had made their way

Into  his father’s heart

or maybe Orlando’s anguish

released the simple question,

“How’s your fella doin?”

Melting the wall of sadness and

Confessing a father’s love

While there’s still time.

To read about Orlando’s angels who guard mourners from protesters, click below:

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/06/19/482698337/angels-from-orlandos-theater-community-guard-mourners-from-protesters