Anything is Possible!

With Faith, Hope and Perseverance


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Desperado

Song Lyric Sunday

Today’s Song Lyric Sunday theme is gambling/risk, brought to you by Helen, at

https://helenswordsoflife.com/2017/08/19/song-lyric-sunday-theme-for-82017/

In Trust the Timing, I write about my fear of falling in love again when my high school sweetheart comes back after 39 years.  It was a gamble. I’d learned that people are on their best behavior when we’re just getting to know them (even for the second time), and the infatuation stage of romance had clouded my judgement in the past. As I started leaning toward taking one more chance on love,  I sang the song, “Desperado” to myself,  changing the words a little, like replacing queen of hearts with king of hearts, and “things that are pleasing you” with “fears that are teasing you.”

Desperado was written in 1973 by Don Henley and Glenn Lewis Frey. I originally wanted to share the Eagles version, but I do love Linda Ronstadt’s voice in this beautiful video.

 

The following is from AZ Lyrics

Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?
You been out ridin’ fences for so long now
Oh, you’re a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin’ you
Can hurt you somehow

Don’t you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She’ll beat you if she’s able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can’t get

Desperado, oh, you ain’t gettin’ no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they’re drivin’ you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that’s just some people talkin’
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don’t your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won’t snow and the sun won’t shine
It’s hard to tell the night time from the day
You’re losin’ all your highs and lows
Ain’t it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin’, but there’s a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you (let somebody love you)
You better let somebody love you before it’s too late


21 Comments

Dream Message

morning drive rays of light (2)

I had a dream about the daughter of my former colleague. RT was the most compassionate and best-loved counselor I’ve ever known. She always made time for clients who needed her in spite of the mountains of paperwork piling up, in spite of the extra hours of overtime, in spite of commendations that we “worked tirelessly,” yet we got plenty tired.

My colleague came down with cancer while serving in the trenches,  helping others fight the monster of addiction. For many months, she continued to work her heart out. But there came a time when the physical pain was too much. She put up a brave fight, but she had to go home. RT died a couple of years ago.

Now, to the dream I had two weeks ago:

I was at a community event organized by RT’s daughter who I’ll call B.  I saw my former colleague in the background, beaming her proud mama smile at her daughter from across the room. Later, I went up to B, gave her a big hug, and handed her a package of disposable razors. 

After I woke up, I debated about whether I should tell B about the dream. I’ve run into her around town, and we are friends on Facebook. But why would I give her razors?

In spite of the weirdness, I sent B a Facebook message about the dream.  She responded with excitement because she’s in the process of organizing a community event in memory of her mother. She said she knows her mother is happy. And she told me she keeps forgetting to buy razors.

I think I’m supposed to help B with this event. We’re planning to meet later today.

I can still see her mama’s big, beautiful smile.


18 Comments

How to Heal a Broken Heart

How to heal from a broken heart

This is exactly what I learned to do after my divorce. It took time. There was all that grief to work through, a codependent relapse or two, and a great deal of questioning.

But in time, I found me again. I put my love into the constants that had always been there for me: God, dogs, nature, painting, writing, singing, swimming, and family. I explored new interests like drumming, improvisational dance, and kayaking. I bought myself flowers and encouraging cards. Slowly but surely, I healed. In some ways, the healing was like coming home. In other ways, it was like a mid-life adolescence but with a little more wisdom and growing self-love.

What are the constants in your life that can support you through hard times?

What else can help heal a broken heart?

back cover painting (2)

My back cover painting for Trust the Timing


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On Your Mark, Get Set…..STOP!

 

socsbadge2016-17

SoCS prompt: “ick”

So, I had this post all done about my book being published. All excited and everything. And I found another snag. Another technical glitch which has to do with publishing under my maiden name. When I discovered the error, I felt that icky feeling in my stomach.

I thought about using the post I had written about my icky rebound from hell being the ickiest part of the book, and all the things I learned from that relationship, but then I realized: I can’t edit! It’s SOC. So I’m starting from scratch.

If it’s not one thing, it’s another.

But the thing is, my book is available. That’s like a whisper. It was going to be a holler with a happy dance. So this is like a very soft book launch. I don’t want to do the holler until the glitch is fixed. It’s a minor thing, really.

But life is like that sometimes. Sometimes there’s a holler with a happy dance, and sometimes there’s a steady, slow slide into the process of whatever it is – growing up, falling in love, getting older – and then, it’s there in all it’s glory or all it’s hollering, or gnashing of teeth.

So I guess this is really about persevering though the ickiness. Publishing a book is not quick. Not for me anyway. But it is happening. And I will be hollering and dancing.

Thanks to all my blogging friends for your patience and support!

And thanks to Linda G. Hill for hosting the Saturday Stream of Consciousness. For more information, visit:

https://lindaghill.com/2017/07/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-817/

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!

 

 


10 Comments

Pay Attention to the Signs

danger

Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt is the word, “sign.”

Our bodies will give us signs. Like acid reflux or upset stomach when stressed. At least mine does. My acid reflux is always an indicator of stress, or eating too fast. I ignored the signs that my post-divorce rebound, aka, the “rebound from hell,” was not a good fit. I ignored the fact that he drank a lot. (Maybe I could help him with that – OMG was I messed up!) I ignored the jealousy – accusations that I must have been with someone when he couldn’t get up with me, or “out of pocket,” as he later called it. Oh, how I hate that expression and the memory of it.

I ignored the little voice in my head that maybe I could do better. I was seriously wounded.  My body gave me other signs too – a mysterious female ailment that would not get better.  My body knew he wasn’t good for me.

But years after the rebound from hell ended, my body got better. Eventually, I knew I was better off not dating anyone. So, after five years of celibacy, I was hesitant. Fearful. Nervous, yet excited about the man from my long ago past. My high school sweetheart. People change a lot in 39 years, I told myself. BE CAREFUL!

But God gave me signs that had to do with timing. Should I give it away? Did I give it away in an earlier post? It’s in my book which comes out sometime this summer. Let me just say that I had made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t do something until something else happened. The timing of when my high school sweetheart re-appeared fit right in to this promise. And there was another promise about a criminal background check before falling in love again. The way he responded when I told him that was a sign of honor and respect.

When some one honors you and helps you keep your promises to yourself, that means a lot. My body felt comfortable and safe with him. Excited and aroused, too, after five years of celibacy. But I had learned that you can’t trust just that kind of arousal. I had to have the safety and comfort, too. And respect. I’ve read that respect is really important to men and being listened to is most important to women. Well, I can tell you that I want respect, too. And joy. And feeling safe. All those things are part of being loved and loving.

If I had not found all those good qualities in another person, I was prepared to stay single, celibate, and solo, with friends and dogs for company. Being willing to stay single was my strength. I had finally learned to honor, love, and respect myself enough to be in a healthy relationship.

I just have to bend the rules and enter another stream of consciousness to add this sign which I forgot about. Dang. I wish I’d written about this sign. Well, another time….

sign at Summerland key wharf

socsbadge2016-17

Stream of Consciousness Saturday is brought to you by Linda G. Hill. For more information, just follow this sign:

https://lindaghill.com/2017/06/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-1717/

Here are the SOCS Rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!

 


22 Comments

For My Father

 

When I was in my twenties

searching for myself,

I did not understand

the man you were,

how you suffered and fought

and how deeply you loved

my mother,

my sisters,

and me.

As I got older, you got older.

And now that you are gone,

I am in awe

of the integrity of your life.

And now, as I pray for my daughter,

in her twenties,

searching for herself,

I wonder if this is how

you prayed for me

and if somehow, some day

my strength,

my faith,

will rub off on her

as yours has on me.

 

Dad in raincoat at rehab (2)

The Strongest Man I’ve Ever Known, 1931-2017

 

 


17 Comments

Six Years Ago

It was six years ago today, probably around 8PM, that I got this Facebook message from my high school sweetheart after 39 years of no contact:

Greetings to you! After many years I hope you are well. Take care and be safe!

After that, everything changed.

You can read all about the 39 years, what it took for us to be ready to meet again, and what happened next, in my memoir which will be available this summer!

ebook cover -1536x2048