Today’s SoCS post is “icing on the cake,” because HAPPY BIRTHDAY to LINDA, our SoCS, #JusJoJan host! Linda asks that we write about the first thing that comes to mind when we think about the phrase, icing on the cake.
My husband David is icing on the cake. Not that we eat a lot of sweets, but he’s an extra blessing. Before he came back into my life, I was willing to stay single and starting to accept that, if me staying single was what God wanted. I focused on the things single women have accomplished and the advantages of being single – the freedom, no snoring, doing yoga while watching TV with no make-up on (which I do anyway.) It’s totally okay to be single. And I’d always have dogs for company.
Having a compatible partner is icing on the cake – extra. He’s not perfect of course. He snores and he doesn’t like to watch TV, so I watch whatever I want while doing yoga with no make-up. And he doesn’t like coconut. It’s a texture thing. Like I don’t like sauerkraut. It’s a texture and a smell thing. Yuck. But David is intelligent, handsome, spiritual, and he loves dogs. Handsome is icing on the cake. It’s also a strange word, hand some. As in, hand some cake over.
Getting back to coconut, my favorite icing on a cake would be the coconut pecan icing that normally comes on German chocolate cake. I would put that icing on dark chocolate cake with chocolate chips in the cake and more nuts, because I’m nuts about nuts. It would all be vegan, preferably, which is entirely possible, and while I’m at it, no calories, which is very unlikely, unless I’m imagining the whole thing which is probably for the best. But I could have some nuts and dark chocolate which I do have on hand. Some.
Now “some” looks weird. Somewhere over the rainbow way up high. Okay, enough already.
For rules and other details about Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot it January
Tuesday was my last full day at the job I worked for 30 years. In January, I’ll go back for a few hours to wrap up some paperwork and get the rest of my stuff, and there will be a “retirement” party. But these things will be on my terms and at my convenience.
My husband told me he was proud of me for retiring on my terms. But it was because of him that I was able to do it that way, cutting my hours back gradually, building my courage for the leap of faith, trusting that I would be taken care of. My husband, not wanting to contribute to the commercialization of Christmas, doesn’t like to buy presents from a store, but he loves to make things from wood like candle holders and Christmas ornaments like the balloon above. I tend to agree with him. He’s giving me the best gift of all the Christmas – the gift of retirement.
It was hard to say goodbye to my clients. But it was the right decision for me. Now, I get giggly inside, like a kid at Christmas, as I realize I don’t have to go back to the bureaucracy, to the demands to do more in less time – or bringing work home, or to the witnessing of the wreckage of addiction.
I am forever grateful to have witnessed the triumphs over addiction and for the privilege to be able to help a little. I’m thankful for all that I’ve learned. But I believe I’ve paid my dues. Now, it’s my turn to follow my heart back to its creative home. I’ll probably do a stress management group somewhere, maybe a group with a creative twist! But it will be on my terms.
I will remember all those late nights I drove home exhausted, my hands aching from the keyboard, wondering if I would ever get caught up on the paperwork, wondering if I could make it another 10 years until social security and medicare kicked in, wondering if those benefits would even be there for me in 10 years.
I will remember praying to God for deliverance, telling myself, God has a plan.
Little did I know how marvelous that plan would be. God was watching me, loving me, encouraging me, and doing the same for my soulmate 700 miles away. God waited for the perfect time, when my soulmate and I were ready to journey together. (And in case you didn’t know, I’m writing a book about that.)
Ten years ago, I asked God to take away the desire for a partner, or to send someone who is a good fit.
Today, I thank God for the gift of my husband who is a good fit. And I thank my husband for the gift of freedom to be me. On my terms. And on God’s terms.
The second I saw his message on Facebook, my heart beat like a drum. A happy, excited drum. I had to remind myself constantly to keep my feet on the ground. But we knew something important was going on from our second first date in July of 2011.
Now, he is my second husband, my first love and my last love.
I hope you’re not tired of hearing about this.
But here’s something I’ve never revealed: He (my second husband) sort of reminds me of my first crush. When I was about 11 years old I had a crush on a TV character. It was a time of chaos and inconsistency with my father in Vietnam and my mother’s nervous break downs. Consistency and order was offered by the second in command of the USS Enterprise, the logical science officer, Mr. Spock. Yes, he was my first crush.
My second husband is not a Vulcan, but he can be pretty serious when he’s absorbed in something. He has a certain arch in his eyebrow that can be endearingly familiar. My first husband told me I needed to “lighten up.” But my second husband told me, when we first started dating for the second time, that he was “allergic to fun.” I didn’t believe him. He hadn’t been allergic to fun when we dated in the early 1970s. Back then, he was a gentleman. Back then he only got as far as second base. (We were 15 and 16.) But he had a sense of humor. He still has a sense of humor and a nice smile. He has a tendency to work too hard, but he’s learning to relax. The ocean helps. He likes to go put his feet in the water. I don’t think he’s allergic to fun. I think he’s just not used to it, having worked hard for so many years. But we’re nearing retirement age, not that we’ll ever retire completely, and he’s going to have to get used to fun.
Even Mr. Spock mellowed with age, and with the help of those spores from those funny flowers, he had fun. I wonder where I can find something like that.
I don’t know how the captain wasn’t affected at all by the spores. They should have let him have just a little fun before coming back to his responsible self.
We all need a little fun. Or a lot.
Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt was the word, “second.” If you have a second, visit Linda’s blog at the link below:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
Today’s Stream of Consciousness post helps us remember the difference between the words: compliment and complement. I checked my understanding with Grammar Girl: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/compliment-versus-complement?page=all, and was pleased my understanding was correct (this time.) The nifty reminder, I like to give compliments, is full of the letter i.
I get a lot of compliments about my husband: He’s handsome, he’s nice, he’s helpful…. Most of the time I’m proud of him when I hear these things. It’s good to get reminders, because after you’ve been married for a couple years, you get to see where the imperfections really are. He doesn’t have many imperfections, and best of all, he is aware of them, and works on them. Like I work on my imperfections, at least the ones I want to work on. My husband works on the imperfections I want him to work on. That doesn’t sound good, but it IS good, really. And it’s okay to not be perfect. I know that. I really do.
But back to the compliments. I confess that sometimes when I hear what a great guy my husband is, I get just a little bit concerned, not worried, just concerned, that he might appear too desirable. This only concerns me a little, for a brief second, because I know what a good man he is, and that God would not have brought us back together after all these years, to hurt either one of us. God knew we were ready to walk together and work together on our issues.
We have enough in common to be compatible: we both love dogs, we’re both responsible, and we both gravitated toward the hero role in response to our different family of origin dysfunctions. (He’s a retired fire fighter/EMT; I’m an almost retired substance abuse counselor.) We both grew up with fathers in the military. We both like garlic, which is way better than only one of us liking garlic.
We complement each other. To me, that means we fit well together, but we also have different strengths that each of us sometimes lacks. My husband is practical, good with numbers, and tends to work too hard. He’s a morning person. He’s a bit of an extrovert, but thank God he knows how to listen and does not talk constantly. I’m good at singing, and art, and patience. I tend to be an introvert. I enjoy an occasional nap. I am not a morning person. I really appreciate my husband making oatmeal with fruit every morning. There must be something he appreciates me doing late at night. Oh, I let the dogs out late sometimes, and make sure the front door is locked.
If you’d like to read a little more about my high school sweetheart finding me again, see, “About Me,” and some day, we’ll publish the memoir we’re working on, so you can read the whole story. 🙂
If you’d like to join the fun of Saturday Stream of Consciousness posting, visit:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
Opposites do attract. We’re often drawn to partners or friends who have qualities we lack. This can be a good thing, up to a point. If there are too may opposites, there’s going to be trouble.
When we were dating (for the second time) my husband confessed, “I’m allergic to fun.” I thought he was kidding. He works hard and is hard on himself. I can understand this, but my desire for myself is to have more fun. We had lots of fun when we dated, getting to know each other again; the butterflies and excitement of falling in love tends to make us giddy and overlook things.
Fortunately, we also asked a lot of questions to find out if there were any deal breakers. To find out if there was enough common ground.
But back to the opposites. He says he is not artistic. And he’s not when it comes to free flowing things, improvisation, dance, playful art. I am more artistic. He is more precise. I tend to be scattered. He is more focused. (I’ve come to believe that’s mostly a guy thing.) He is great with numbers, me not so much.
I love to sing. My husband stopped singing in his late teens after being ridiculed. When we found each other again, he didn’t sing at all. But he’s been working on this for a couple years, and now sings in our church choir with me. He knows how I love to sing and wants to be with me enough to overcome his fear of singing. He’s also overcoming his fear of swimming in deep water due to a close call a long time ago. I love to swim. He was a fire fighter and pilot, so he’s not at all afraid of heights like I am. I get motion sickness at the drop of a hat. But when he gets a chance to fly a plane again, I’ll be there with him, right after I take my Dramamine.
I used to be addicted to TV and movies. My husband doesn’t watch TV and rarely goes to movies. But he did like Interstellar which we saw together. It’s a good thing I took my daughter with me to see Wild. And there’s no way he’ll want to go see Into the Woods. But that’s okay.
Even though opposites attract, similarities are necessary for a happy, long lasting relationship.
My husband and I both love dogs. We like to grow things in dirt and eat healthy. While we both partied plenty in our younger days, we’re now conservative in our lifestyles, though not our beliefs. We are responsible, frugal and conscientious. We believe in giving back to the community. We search for meaning in spirituality. We’re both Christians, but we’re open minded enough to respect the beliefs of others. We respect each others differences. We listen to each other. We both like garlic.
These are important similarities. Without them, it wouldn’t work.
And it’s working quite well.
This week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday Post was the word: “opposite.” If you’d like to join in the fun, visit:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
Making a gratitude list is a simple, yet powerful thing. I highly recommend it, and not just on Thanksgiving, though my daughter and I have enjoyed an annual Thanksgiving tradition of taking turns naming things we are thankful for. A gratitude list can lift dreariness or ease boredom. A gratitude list can go on forever, and you can repeat things you are most thankful for as often as you want to. Just let it flow. Here are just a few of the many things I’m thankful for in no particular order:
I’m thankful for juicy sweet crunchy pomegranate seeds which I only just discovered a few years ago.
I’m thankful for my husband who collects pomegranate seeds every morning for our oatmeal.
I’m thankful for my family: my children and my dogs, my Dad, and my Mom who is an angel now along with my sisters.
I’m thankful for friends, both near and far.
I’m thankful for seasons…for changing colors, the refreshing coolness of autumn, the crispness of winter, the warmth of spring and the summer sunsets.
I’m thankful for toilet paper. Can you imagine life without toilet paper? No, lets not. Let’s just be thankful.
I’m thankful for trees that give shade in the summer. And some even drop their leaves and let the warm sunshine through in the winter!
I’m thankful for music and the ability to hear music in the rain and the crickets and the wind in the trees and the many melodies of water.
I’m thankful for water and it’s abundance on this beautiful planet. Water quenches our thirst and cleanses our bodies. Water reflects the trees and sky and moon and sun. Water is life.
I’m thankful for life and the faith that our needs will be provided for……..
Anything is Possible! 