Anything is Possible!

With Love, Hope, and Perseverance


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Marriage, Renovations, & Practice

stream-of-consciousness-saturday-2018-19

Marriage can be a very good thing when two people are compatible. Same with any long term relationship. Compatible doesn’t mean the same, it means a good fit. My husband and I have different personalities. He’s got a lot more energy than I do. He’s a morning person, and I’m a night owl. He gets energized by being around people. I get tired after about an hour – five minutes if there’s a lot of talking, bright lights, and extraneous noise.

But we have similar values. We both love dogs. We’re spiritual. And wonderfully, we are both conservative in our lifestyles, but liberal in our beliefs. Used to be not conservative in lifestyle, and I’m glad we lived to tell about it. He says it would not have worked if we had kept dating and gotten married from that high school romance. Maybe he’s right. We needed to grow up and learn stuff. LOTS of stuff. We learned a lot from out previous marriages.

Guess what! Today is our anniversary! Six years since we said, “I do.” It’s been a good six years, and I am very thankful to have had a solid, dependable partner through the death of my dog and then my father. His dogs and father died, too. Now, we are facing a smaller but more drawn out challenge.

As you may know, our house in Wilmington is getting renovated and we’re staying the the house an hour away that I inherited from my parents. We’ve had to nudge the workers to move along with the bathroom and kitchen floor. The mental roof should be in Monday, so they say, but that’s just the materials. We were hoping to be home by Christmas, but it doesn’t look like it. We found out that the electrician condemned our wiring! So they got another electrician for a second opinion. He condemned our wiring, too. It’s an old house. David says he’s in agreement that we need new wiring on most of the house.

When I first found out, I was frustrated and disappointed. Now, I’m wondering, realizing, that this is God’s way of keeping us safe. I’m very thankful we have another house to stay in and that I can work on clearing out the clutter and stuff my parent’s owned. Sorry Mom and Dad, it’s not all clutter. Plus I get to clear out some of my own clutter in the process of moving everything away from the walls in the Wilmington house. Good thing I don’t have  a job, because this IS my job. And I’m getting better at it with practice. Kinda like marriage.

Bride & Groom framed by doors

December 1, 2012

Our Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday was “ma.” We were instructed to “use it as a word or find a word with “ma” in it. Bonus points if you start your post with that word. Enjoy!”

Ta da! Bonus points!

To find out more about Linda Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday magic, visit

https://lindaghill.com/2018/11/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-1-18/

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. I will post the prompt here on my blog every Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The,’” or will simply be a single word to get you started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read all of them! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later or go to the previous week by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!


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One-Liner Wednesday: Gratitude Makes Sense of Our Past

woman looking back at rocks

 

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Melody Beattie

I thought I knew all the stages of grief.

But there’s always more to learn.

 I never understood the role of  bargaining in my divorce.

I don’t remember begging, though I did ask “Why?”

wandering around in shock.

The counselor said the marriage could be saved

unless there were other lovers –

then it wouldn’t work.

The other woman had been my friend

before the bottom fell out.

There was no checking in.

No sisterhood.

.

I used to think  guilt was a stage of grief,

guilt the companion of bargaining,

guilt who knows where I live.

Maybe if I’d been more attentive,

 more docile, more playful…

I thought I was doing a good job

for the two decades tossed away.

Why? Why? Why? ad infinitum….,

(until now.)

.

Anger got lost in depression,

the depression I tried to swallow,

but it kept coming back up.

Or I’d stuff it in a drawer and forget about it

until I went looking for that purple scarf

and it grabbed me around the throat

and threw me on the bed.

 I couldn’t get up

but I could roll over and slide down

to put my knees on the floor.

.

All the while I wrestled with depression,

anger lurked nearby growing into a boulder of resentment

blocking my path to happiness.

.

But where was this acceptance I kept hearing about?

I had no idea.

.

It wasn’t until forgiveness

finally got a foot in the door

and started chipping away at resentment,

that acceptance had a chance to work.

It was forgiveness that opened a path for love.

Love of self. Love of family. Love of life.

And finally when the time was right,

Love from another.

.

Now, after all these years, I’ve awakened

to another stage:

Gratitude.

Eighteen years ago I would have never believed it possible

to be grateful for my divorce.

But if the first marriage had not died,

if the other woman had not been there,

I would not have been set free.

Free to fall.

Free to flounder.

Free to fly.

Free to find myself again.

Free to be found.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

one-liner-wednesday-badge-2018-19

 

One-Liner Wednesday is brought to you by Linda G. Hill

at

https://lindaghill.com/2018/11/21/one-liner-wednesday-its-time/

 

Here are the rules that we sometimes follow:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!


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Hopi Elder Speaks

IMG_4122.JPG

 

I’ve been holding on to this message from the Hopi elder, waiting for the right time.

This feels like a good time.

“You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour, now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour.  And there are things to be considered . . .

Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden.
It is time to speak your Truth.
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.”

Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said, “This could be a good time!”

“There is a river flowing now very fast.  It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.  They will try to hold on to the shore.   They will feel they are torn apart and will suffer greatly.

“Know the river has its destination.  The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above water.   And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate.  At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, Least of all ourselves.  For the moment that we do,  our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

“The time for the lone wolf is over.  Gather yourselves!  Banish the word struggle from you attitude and your vocabulary.  All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

“We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”

— attributed to an unnamed Hopi elder

Hopi Nation, Oraibi, Arizona

The river is moving fast for me this week. I’m getting ready for a trip to see my grandchildren, heading into a bit of weather maybe, so prayers are welcome.  I’ll be driving to the NC mountains to pick up my son, then it’s on to Indianapolis. My son will be doing most of the driving. He reminded me he has ten years of experience driving in snow.

Angels, make our way clear and safe.

Sometimes, I’d rather be the lone wolf, staying close to home. But when I look around and see who is with me on this journey,  I see magic and meaning.  A decade ago, when my son was in his early twenties, he was physically and emotionally distant. For one year, he barely talked to me. Now, we enjoy each other’s company. I look forward to our time together.

Love still flourishes. Love carries the best kind of courage.

I feel a pull that I sometimes resist, but I’m going with it now, to the middle of the river where the water runs deep.  I remember that I’m a good swimmer and at home in the water.  It’s time to celebrate like a breaching whale, to keep my eyes open, my head above water, and let my heart go with the flow.

New River via VA State Parks

All waters – rivers, oceans, rain, and snow – have much in common. Just as we are more alike than different. It is time for each of us to find our sacred way and to see that our rivers connect.

Everyone belongs.


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Black Belt Codependent Interview Series – JoAnne

A big THANK YOU to Terri Randall for this interview about my own codependent journey and recovery. I just bought her book, Journey of a Codependent. Looking forward to reading it!

Diary of a Recovering Codependent

Today’s interview is with JoAnne, a retired addictions/mental health counselor and a woman who also walks this journey of codependency. She recently published her first book, “Trust The Timing: A Memoir of Finding Love Again”, which can be found on Amazon.  Please be sure to check our her blog, Anything Is Possible, as she shares her journey and inspires others!

Want to share your story and encourage others? If you are interested in participating in the Black Belt Codependent Interview Series, please click here and complete the form.


JoAnne…

Tell us about yourself.

In January, I retired from a 30 year career as an addictions/mental health counselor. Now, I focus on writing and art, and just published my first book, Trust the Timing, A Memoir of Finding Love Again.

How did you know you were codependent?

It was in the late 80s, when I started attending…

View original post 931 more words


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Overcoming My Fear of Heights, Sort of, But Not Really.

rock slide into blue water

Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt is, “high/low.”

I am not a fan of heights. That’s a nice way of saying I have a fear of heights, or rather a fear of falling from a high place. Was it an anxious mother or something wired into my brain? I suppose it would be a good adaptation for a child to be born with. But if you’re born with it, it’s not an adaptation, except for the species.

I’ve pushed myself outside my comfort zone doing an outdoor adventure ropes course, walking on a wire in a harness. Loved the zip line once I trusted the equipment. But most heights are not a natural high for me. One exception is if I’m jumping into water. In my early twenties, I flirted with becoming a lifeguard  being trained by a lifeguard who was sort of flirting with me. I didn’t follow through on it, because I was in my twenties and….got distracted easily. But I did get to jump off of a diving platform that was about ? 35 feet high. That’s just a guess. I was scared at first, but knowing the water would catch me, it turned out to be exhilarating.

Water is my friend. The earth is my friend. My natural highs are mostly low to the ground. Water envelopes me, like in the womb maybe. It cools my fire sign – Sagittarius. I’ve always wanted to go caving, and loved scuba diving in my twenties. So quiet and peaceful down there.

cave with water

I sometimes wonder what I’d do if I HAD to walk across one of those swinging bridges, miles above a crocodile-filled river. The kind of bridge with old wooden slats you can see in  between.  The only way I could do it would be to not look down. That’s what I’ve learned.  I walked on the “Mile High Swinging Bridge” at Grandfather Mountain in NC once.  Looking down made me feel nauseous. I was okay as long as I only looked where I was putting my feet, and held on to the railing. And nobody made the bridge swing. And there was no wind. Then it was a piece of cake. I was happy to get to the last step and onto solid rock.

I do like to look out across the mountain tops from a good solid piece of earth.

IMG_4874

No outcroppings. No dangling my feet over the edge. (Unless there’s deep water below and no crocs.)

My natural highs are earthy. Riding horses. Swimming.  I don’t mind deep water I know will hold me.  Digging in the dirt. Re-arranging plants and seedlings. And dark chocolate.  Let’s not forget that! Watching sunsets. Colored glass. Singing – especially figuring out harmonies and getting them to blend. Getting a massage. Soft, steady caresses that take me to a trance.

These are things that would tend to keep my blood pressure low which it normally is. My husband on the other hand, likes to fly. He wants to re-certify his pilot’s license. He tends to have high blood pressure. He is not fond of swimming. But he goes into the ocean with me, even though he’d rather be in the sky. Some day, I’ll go flying with him.

flying pair

(The first two photos are from Pixabay. The last two are from me. )

The Saturday Stream of Consciousness is brought to you by Linda at:

https://lindaghill.com/2017/08/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-517/

Stop by Linda’s blog for more takes on high/low.

socsbadge2016-17

Here are the SoCS rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!


21 Comments

How to Heal a Broken Heart

How to heal from a broken heart

This is exactly what I learned to do after my divorce. It took time. There was all that grief to work through, a codependent relapse or two, and a great deal of questioning.

But in time, I found me again. I put my love into the constants that had always been there for me: God, dogs, nature, painting, writing, singing, swimming, and family. I explored new interests like drumming, improvisational dance, and kayaking. I bought myself flowers and encouraging cards. Slowly but surely, I healed. In some ways, the healing was like coming home. In other ways, it was like a mid-life adolescence but with a little more wisdom and growing self-love.

What are the constants in your life that can support you through hard times?

What else can help heal a broken heart?

back cover painting (2)

My back cover painting for Trust the Timing


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For My Father

 

When I was in my twenties

searching for myself,

I did not understand

the man you were,

how you suffered and fought

and how deeply you loved

my mother,

my sisters,

and me.

As I got older, you got older.

And now that you are gone,

I am in awe

of the integrity of your life.

And now, as I pray for my daughter,

in her twenties,

searching for herself,

I wonder if this is how

you prayed for me

and if somehow, some day

my strength,

my faith,

will rub off on her

as yours has on me.

 

Dad in raincoat at rehab (2)

The Strongest Man I’ve Ever Known, 1931-2017