Anything is Possible!

With Love, Hope, and Perseverance


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SoCS: Eyesight Declines as Hindsight Improves with Age

A true fortune

Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “clear.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

I like things to be clear. But sometimes we have to wait for the mud to settle. Clarity can take hours, weeks, months, or decades. It took almost 20 years for the clarity that my divorce that happened around the turn of the century turned out to be a good thing. Or maybe God turned it into a good thing. Twenty-two years ago, I was in shock. Devastated. Confused. Now, I am thankful. Everything worked out for the best. Not perfect, but the timing was perfect.

Hindsight is often much clearer than foresight or present sight. Physically, my sight is not very clear at all. Between the floaters and the early cataracts, plus scratches on my glasses, it’s a wonder I can get from point A to point B. But the brain is good at adapting – looking around the cloudy patches.

“All Clear,” is what I want to hear about Ukraine. So, people don’t have to hide, flee, or fear for their lives. I’m just shaking my head and praying for: All Clear all over the world. Anything is possible.

My first decade in the 21st century was a painstaking process of grieving, healing, and learning. Though it sometimes seems like it happened in the blink of an eye, I know that was not the case.

This became my song in the second decade of the 21st Century.

~~~

For more streams of consciousness and all the ruly and unruly things, visit our host, Linda Hill, who is clearly the best, by clicking HERE.


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SoCS: The Power of Zero, Cat Stevens, and a “Submerged Object”

 The prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “zip, zero, zilch.” Use one, use ’em all, bonus points if you use all three. Have fun!

Zero is the number of romantic partners I had in the second half of the decade after my divorce. Five years doesn’t seem like such a long time now to be celibate or anything else. In the big picture, five years is not a long time when you have an abundance, a few quality friendships, dogs, and work to do on yourself. I had a romantic relationship with myself and with nature, and spiritual growth that required zero romantic distraction from other people. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time it was happening. There is power in zero, in solitude, in simplicity. Not to say my life was simple by any means.

One is not always the loneliest number, and zero doesn’t necessarily mean zilch. If you add zeros to a number, it increases the value.

Dave at Daily Ramblings shared a short Ted Talk on the origins of the number zero which started as a dot. It got me thinking of the old Cat Stevens/Yusuf album, Numbers, A Pythagorean Fairy Tale, which came out in 1975. The songs sort of told the story of the numbers one through nine and how everything changed when this new dude showed up named, Jzero. I listened to this album a lot in the second half of the decade that was the 70s. It was a confused time of my life when I kept getting distracted from college and from myself. My romantic partners during that time were distractions. I often felt lost or lost my sense of myself.

One of my favorite songs from the Numbers album was, “Drywood.” Part of it went something like,

“Like drywood takes to fire, the truth will come to you.

Like streams that seek the ocean, you will find ways through,

Like morning meets the moon, my love will guide the way.

It’s time to wipe your eyes now, and awake…..”

The song provided encouragement I needed and still holds a special place of gratitude in my heart.

Another of my favorite songs from the album was, “Home.” It’s a sweet song. Here’s an older Cat Stevens, aka, Yusuf, singing it. At the end he whispers, “Peace be with you.”

Well, time to zip up this post. Right after I add a few photos from the beach… Oh, there’s a video at the bottom.

~~~

For more streams of consciousness, rules, and such, visit our dedicated host, Linda Hill, by clicking HERE.


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Completing Herself

She had always said,

“He does not complete me.”

With disdain, she said,

“He is not my better half

And I am not his.”

We are whole people.

But when, after two decades,

He up and left,

A gaping wound,

Invisible to the naked eye,

Left her vulnerable.

It would have been better

If the wound was visible,

Bandaged with a white flag.

She thought it was healing well,

But the wound festered.

She tried to fill the emptiness with

Anything that remotely resembled love,

And the wound became infected.

Finally, finally, she stopped trying to fill the wound

With a person who would never be enough.

She looked for herself in the woods.

She looked for herself in the water.

She looked in friendship,

Human and nonhuman furry friends.

She looked to God who opened her arms and held her close.

Finally, finally, she felt completed by all these things:

The constants that had always been there for her.

And the wound healed.

She looked for herself in the woods…

I’ve shared this photo of me before, but it fits so well today, I had to share it again. It was taken by my daughter about 15 years ago.

~~~

Today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt was:

“comp.” Find a word that starts with or contains “comp” and use it in your post. Enjoy!

For more streams and SoCS rules, visit our host, Linda Hill, by clicking HERE.


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SoCS: Let Go of the Shame, Remember the Lesson

Here’s today’s prompt: “let go.” Write about the first thing that comes to mind when you think “let go.” Enjoy!

Let go, already! It was practically 20 years ago! I was vulnerable and grieving. The rebound from hell lasted only one year – not long in the grand scheme of things. But still, I think, I should have known better, being a counselor and all. I suppose it can happen to anybody.

Maybe shame is like grief in that it still comes in waves as it dissipates. The waves do come further apart and are smaller. And I can say, STOP IT! sooner. Moving on….

Let go my ego! or is it, Let go OF my ego? (Ha! It’s supposed to be spelled Eggo, but I’m going to leave it as ego.) There have been a lot of pancake commercials on TV lately. Must be for IHOP or something. But they make me think about the pancake mix and sugar free syrup that have been in my frig for at least a year. Tomorrow will be cold, so maybe… No, I have plenty of other things to eat. But maybe…. STOP It! Maybe one day, I’ll throw the pancake mix away. Let it go.

Who’s going to share the song, “Let it Go,” from frozen? I don’t know, but it’s almost like a cliche now. I still like it anyway. Hey! I found a great meme with the smarter sister from Frozen. Let me find it…..

The lesson I learned from The Rebound from Hell was, don’t even date someone you just met. Find out about them, do a background check, and see if he meets your list of requirements. Then wait a while. That’s why David and I asked each other a lot of questions on the phone before we had our second first date, then a lot more questions before we got serious. My awesome supervisor at the time did an unofficial background check on David and only found good stuff. Thank God, I don’t have to worry about that anymore.

The key with any mistake is to let go of the shame and remember the lesson.

~~~

Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot it January are brought to us by Linda Hill. To learn more about #SoCS and #JusJoJan, click HERE.


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Holding On and Letting Go

“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.” – Rumi

Linda’s post on clutter got me to find this Rumi quote in my drafts. Most of my Christmas decorations are still up because they’re pretty and bring me joy. I’m putting them away a little at a time and thinking of letting go of the red Christmas lights I haven’t used in two years. But it’s too late to donate them and I won’t throw them away. They gave me joy two years ago. Plus, I might use them again someday. (The cluttered person’s trap.)

The question came to me: If I organize it better, does that count as decluttering?

Things I want to let go of are those I don’t use AND that do not bring me joy. Emotionally, we need to let go of things that get in the way, harm us, or take up too much space, like grudges, shame, and emails that are a year old.

What do I want to hold on to? Things that I use or want to use if they will be good for me. We want to hold on to the constants in our lives that give us joy, strength, or serenity. For me that would be nature, art, healthy relationships, and God’s love. I write about these constants in From Loneliness to Love.

As far as the red Christmas lights go, I’m going to let go of worrying about it and put them in a red tin can (new clutter) with a note attached to donate before Christmas.

What do you want to hold on to?

~~~

For more one-liners, #JusJoJan jottings, and guidelines for each, visit our host, Linda Hill here.


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SoCS: One Good Thing and Being Authentic with Betty

Our prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “resolve.” Use it as a noun or a verb. Have fun!

One of my Facebook friends, one who I greatly appreciate, asked a question something like,

What’s one good thing you accomplished, experienced, or learned in 2021?

It’s a good question to ask when a year’s been hard and we want it to be over and done with. Some good things happened. Just check out my Good News Tuesday posts. We need to recognize our accomplishments and learnings and carry that good energy over into the new year. As they say in 12 step programs, take what you can use and leave the rest.

In January of 2021, I started working with a personal trainer almost every week. I did not lose any weight. But I must be stronger, because I can do more squats and hold a plank much longer now than I could in January. Not that the end result is much to brag about, but I’ve made progress which is way more important and realistic than perfection.

In 2022, I resolve to continue that progress. Some years, I’ve had very specific goals. Lists even. Not this year. Just progress and being careful about my time. Before I commit to anything ongoing, I’m going to give it a lot of thought. Volunteering at the farm animal sanctuary feels right to me and sits well with my soul. Other things I signed up for, like being on a community committee for a cause I care about, took too much time away from other things, like writing and just being me. Our new dog, Marley, takes a lot of time, and that’s okay. He’s family.

What this is really about is being authentic. Being true to my soul. Being retired means, no one can make me do anything. I’m gonna listen to God’s nudges. Well, I’ll feel the nudges and pay attention and listen to God’s whispers. But God knows I’ve paid my dues, and it’s okay to enjoy life. I resolve to make time for R&R : rest and recreation/relaxation, even if that means watching reruns of Star Trek, Big Bang, or The Golden Girls or Mary Tyler Moore in honor of Betty White who just died at the age of 99. I don’t think she ever really retired, but she sure did have fun.

Before she was a Golden Girl, Betty White was on the Mary Tyler Moore Show which I loved. Or at least liked a lot when I was single watching reruns. This clip shows Betty White playing Sue Ann who wants to be more authentic.

If you remember the MTM show, you’ll remember the lyrics to the theme song:

How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl this time you’re all alone
But it’s time you started living
It’s time you let someone else do some giving

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have the town, why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all
You’re gonna make it after all

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/marytylermooreshowlyrics.html

Who knows? Maybe we’ll make it after all.

What’s something good you accomplished, experienced, or learned in 2021?

~~~

For more streams of consciousness, resolve to visit our host, Linda Hill by clicking here.

Happy New Year!


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SoCS: Ode to Joy

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “ode.” Find a one- or two-syllable word that rhymes with “ode,” or use the word “ode.” Have fun!

Ode. Mode: most frequently ocurring score (from statistics) which I guess is what makes the hill in the bell curve. “Ode to Billy Joe.” Maybe someone else will do that. How about “Ode to Joy?”

Here’s a flash mob.

I’ve been in small dance mobs, more like acting mobs or mime mobs. I bet I have a picture somewhere……

Very improv. That’s me on the right with the red hair about 10 -15 yrs ago.

It was a fun time when I was much more social, not romanticly, and finding myself while focusing on friendship with a very accepting group of people.

I’d like to sing in a flash mob some day. I would want to enunciate because I can’t really hear the words in the “Ode to Joy above.” I worry about that in choir – that the organ could overpower the lyrics. Maybe it’s my hearing? Anyway, I’m going to find the words to “Ode to Joy…”

So there are many differernt versions. There’s the original poem written in German, the hymn, and here’s a simpler version, well, the lyricis are simple, the music not so much. (Maybe I couldn’t understand the words in the flash mom version bc they were singing in German?)

In all the mess and confusion of the world,

I hope you find many moments of joy!

For more stream of consciousness posts, visit our host, Linda Hill at:

https://lindaghill.com/2021/08/20/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-21-2021/


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SoCS: Hope for the Best and Trust the Timing

Linda picked my favorite word for today’s prompt: HOPE!

If you can’t find faith, look for hope. Hope will lead you to faith.

About 15 years ago, I was afraid to hope. Romance was not working out for me at all, so I tried not to want a partner. I tried to become cynical about men. I decided to focus on myself and my daughter, friendship, and of course my most loyal companions, the dogs.

But hope snuck back in. I read about manifesting, and visualizing. Of course, this was AFTER I had worked on myself some. For five years, I hadn’t dated anyone beyond a coffee shop visit. No one interesting seemed interested in me. Now, I know that was all part of the plan created by God, the Universe, my guardian angels who were tired of my dating messes and lessons. They all knew I had work to do on me first.

At the same time I was working on me, licking my wounds, and finding my footing again, my high school sweetheart and long lost first love was doing the same – working on himself. We were becoming ready.

Have you seen my wild woman photo? It was taken around that time when I was working on me. My daughter and I had gone on a trip to the mountains. I love this photo.

It was comfortably dark in the forest, and I’m resisting the urge to edit this photo.

I see that I posted it back in 2013. Well, here it is again. I thought I was lonely, but I was finding myself. My authentic self. I’m guessing this was taken around 2006, but that’s just a guess.

Well, here we are in 2021. David and I are coming up on the ten year anniversary of our second first date which was July 15, 2011. We were so nervous and excited. He says he wasn’t looking for a relationship. I told my heart to calm down! But we both knew this was extra special. In October, the company he had worked for in Connecticut for 35 years told him it was time to retire. That spring he moved in with his 3 dogs to make our five pack. In December of 2012, we made it official. I know you’ve seen that photo before. But maybe the five pack one not as often.

David and I walking the five pack.

The five pack is gone now. They’ve all crossed over the rainbow bridge in the past ten years. I miss them and hope to see them in heaven. That’s more than a hope. Do I have faith that I’ll see my dogs in heaven? Yes. God knows how important this is to me.

Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst if it’s likely to happen, but don’t spend a lot of time on that. It’s like with tropical storms and hurricanes. We knew Elsa would not do as much damage as a big hurricane, so we didn’t spend much time preparing. Just a little.

We can strengthen ourselves for the difficult times as we hope for the best. Like my favorite quote goes:

I hope you are well and at peace as much as you can be. Enjoy the hopes that come your way. Nurture them and they will become exactly what they are meant to be when the time is right.

For more streams of hope, visit our host, Linda Hill at:

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS July 10, 2021 | (lindaghill.com)


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One-Liner Wednesday: More At Stake

Unity Dove in Alcohol Ink by Joanna of the Forest

“But, you know, there’s more at stake than our party and our political fortunes in this moment. If we lose faith in the Constitution, we won’t just lose elections. We’ll lose our country.” Mike Pence msn.com

While I don’t agree with Mike Pence on many things, I admire his courage in regard to this statement and his role on January 6. I am always drawn to stories where people struggle with good and evil, light and darkness, trying to figure out the right thing to do in complicated situations, and where someone has the courage to step outside the box or beyond party lines. It reminds me of when Darth Vader turned and saved his son from the emperor because there was still good in him.

In reality, things are rarely so clear. There are a lot of colors between black and white. There are even a lot of colors between red and blue.

One Liner Wednesday is brought to you by our host, Linda G. Hill.

Please visit Linda’s blog for more one-liners and guidelines.


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SoCS: Balancing Growth and Rest

Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt was: to use the word, “growth” any way we liked, and to have fun!

Personal growth was a big deal once upon a time. I’m still growing, but I want to enjoy life, too. If you’re enjoying yourself are you wasting time? I don’t think so.

My energy level fluctuates a lot. The only thing even close to predictable is that I tend to have more energy at night. David is a morning person. He gets sleepy at about 10 pm. That was a good thing when we had the five pack of dogs. I could let them out at night and he could let them out and feed them in the morning.

When I was a mom, I had to get up early. Same with work. But now, I’m RETIRED. I can do what I want, mostly. Naps are a wonderful treat. I’ve earned them. Paid my dues. Left to my own devices, I’d probably keep vampire hours. But I do my best to get up and have breakfast with David.

Lately, there are times in the afternoon that I can barely keep my eyes open. Maybe 7 hours of sleep is not enough. Fatigue seems to come from nowhere. My bloodwork is “normal.” I guess I could just go with the flow and be grateful. I am SO VERY GRATEFUL I don’t have to go to a job at a scheduled time. However, I do need a schedule to get me to write and do art, so I don’t watch too much TV. Usually the TV stays off until after noon. I have a yoga class at the senior center plus silver sneakers exercise classes at the gym about twice a week. There are times when I get really into yard work and overdo it.

I like doing yard work – clearing the pathways through my urban forest where things grow lush and thick in the summer. Actually, they’re pretty thick right now. Not a lot of flowers, though. The amaryllis that gets the most sun is done blooming. The others haven’t bloomed yet. The Hydrangea has more blooms coming than usual on the way and the lantana is just starting. I guess that’s what happens when you let the trees do their thing in the urban forest and make shade. The good thing about tree shade is that it keeps the house cooler.

I guess I’m missing the Thursday Tree Love post. Unless I got the day wrong. It’s normally on the the second and fourth Thursday, but I didn’t see it. I hope our host Parul is okay. She lives in India. Feel free to join me in sending good thoughts and prayers to Parul Thakur and India.

Hydrangea Blooming

My urban forest is only on about one quarter acre.

From my kitchen window

Some of the wildlife visitors to my urban forest include hawks, geckos, squirrels, and an abundance of birds. Yesterday I saw a rabbit which surprised me because I don’t know how it got through the fence. I think the neighbor’s dog motivated it to find a way. Anyway, it was too fast for me to get more than a glimpse. Here are some old photos of backyard wildlife:

Challenges help us grow, but we need rest and relaxation, too.

~~~

Stream of Consciousness Saturday is brought to us by Linda Hill. For more streams and rules, visit Linda’s blog:

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS May 15, 2021 | (lindaghill.com)