SoCS: It’s Okay to Start Over

Feeling overwhelmed is something I try to avoid. When you’ve lived 67 years, you start to learn what overwhelms you, like too many social events in one week, too many appointments, a crowded room where a lot of people are talking and not being able to hear the person next to you.

Thankfully, I’m not overwhelmed as often as I used to be before I retired. I just have to learn to not take on too much, as in volunteer work, community activism, and damn social events since I have embraced my inner introvert. It’s not that I’m anti-social, but I don’t do well at events that are purely social. Just the thought makes me cringe. So ENOUGH OF THAT!

I’m starting this post over.

But first, here’s my plan:

It might not always happen, but peace is a priority in my life. Do you hear that, mind? Step away from the drama and go to the light.

One of the things I learned in recovery meetings for codependency, overeating, or other side doors to recovery, is this:

“You can start your day over at any time.”

You can start your day over at 11pm if you want to. The past can’t change and maybe I messed up earlier in the day, but nothing can ruin my entire day, because there can be good moments mixed in among the bad ones. But those are judgements. As many of us have learned, something “bad” can eventually turn into something “good.”

In starting the day over, a deep breath can help. In my yoga class, we do this thing where we open our arms wide, raise our hands overhead so that our fingers touch in an overhead arch, then bring our hands straight down in front of our body as we makes a shhhhhhhsh sound. Sometimes I wiggle my fingers like rain is washing away the tension. We so it three times. It’s pretty simple, and I should/will use it more often at home…. or at social events when I retreat to the bathroom.

Starting over. What a good thing to be able to do.

After looking up songs about starting over, this cover was my favorite:

Are we ever too old to start over?

I don’t think so. What I really mean is, hell no!

Happy Mother’s Day to ALL Mothers,

including dog mothers, cat mothers, horse mothers…..

Peace and blessings to all.

~~~

For details on SoCS,

head on over to Linda’s blog

by clicking HERE.

SoCS: Perfection Will Not Have My Soul. I’ve been to the Grace Street Garden.

Ah, perfection, you devil,

driving dedicated dudes to delusions of grandeur,

or to early graves from stress.

Not me, though.

Perfection, you will not have my soul.

I will redefine you.

Not a hair out of place becomes wild and free ~

catching the wind and the sun.

The manicured lawn goes native,

A natural home for bugs and birds.

Business casual has become

Hoodies and yoga pants with clogs.

Take THAT perfection!

You have no power over me.

There’s a yard on Grace Street I often pass on my way home. Over the years, the person who lives in the house has collected more and more yard art. I suspect people in the community have also contributed. Some unenlightened people might consider this an eyesore. I think it’s perfectly magnificent! Recently my friend was driving and offered to stop so I could take pictures. That’s when I discovered this was not just a collection of funky yard art. This is the Grace Street Prayer Garden! Who needs perfection when you can have Grace?

~~~

To learn more about Stream of Consciousness Saturday,

visit our host, Linda Hill

by clicking HERE.

One-Liner Wednesday on Growing Up (or not)

“I was wise enough to never grow up

while fooling most people into believing I had.”

Margaret Mead

What does that mean that someone as accomplished as this famous anthropologist says she was wise enough to never grow up? She must have been a fun person to know. Still, she had intelligence, courage, and perseverance.

Growing up is a process. Anybody think they’re done with it? I don’t think so.

…

One-Liner Wednesday (and Just Jot it January) are hosted by author Linda G. Hill.

For more one-liners and jottings, visit Linda HERE.

One-Liner Wednesday on Illumination

“It can be illuminating to look at the world in different ways.”  

Frank Wilczek, theoretical physicist

This quote came to me from Bob in my senior center writers’ group. Bob kindly provided the excerpt below on complementarity:

COMPLEMENTARITY IS MIND- EXPANDING

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“Thus, complementarity is an invitation to consider different perspectives. Unfamiliar questions, unfamiliar facts, or unfamiliar attitudes, in the spirit of complementarity, give us opportunities to try out new points of view and to learn from what they reveal. They foster mind expansion.  Why not bring this spirit to supposed conflicts between art and science, or philosophy and science, or religion A and religion B, or religion and science?

It can be illuminating to look at the world in different ways.  In my own experience, early exposure to Catholicism inspired me to think cosmically and to look for hidden meanings beneath the appearance of things. The attitudes have proved enduring blessings, even after I abandoned the faith’s strict dogmas. Today, I often go back to Plato, to Saint Augustine, to David Hume, or to “outdated” scientific works- Galileo, Newton, Darwin, Maxwell-to converse with great minds, and to practice thinking differently.

Of course, trying to understand different ways of thinking does not necessarily mean you must agree with them, much less adopt them as your own. In the spirit of complementarity, we should maintain detachment. Ideologies or religions that claim an exclusive right to dictate uniquely “correct” views are contrary to the spirit of complementarity.  That said, science has a special status. It has earned enormous credibility, both as a body of understanding and as an approach to analyzing physical reality, through its impressive success in many applications. Scientists who define themselves narrowly fail to enrich their minds, but people who avoid science impoverish theirs.”

Frank Wilczek

For more one-liners, visit out host, Linda Hill

who writes:

“You’re never too old to discover brilliance in the world.”

by clicking HERE.

SoCS: Eyesight Declines as Hindsight Improves with Age

A true fortune

Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “clear.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

I like things to be clear. But sometimes we have to wait for the mud to settle. Clarity can take hours, weeks, months, or decades. It took almost 20 years for the clarity that my divorce that happened around the turn of the century turned out to be a good thing. Or maybe God turned it into a good thing. Twenty-two years ago, I was in shock. Devastated. Confused. Now, I am thankful. Everything worked out for the best. Not perfect, but the timing was perfect.

Hindsight is often much clearer than foresight or present sight. Physically, my sight is not very clear at all. Between the floaters and the early cataracts, plus scratches on my glasses, it’s a wonder I can get from point A to point B. But the brain is good at adapting – looking around the cloudy patches.

“All Clear,” is what I want to hear about Ukraine. So, people don’t have to hide, flee, or fear for their lives. I’m just shaking my head and praying for: All Clear all over the world. Anything is possible.

My first decade in the 21st century was a painstaking process of grieving, healing, and learning. Though it sometimes seems like it happened in the blink of an eye, I know that was not the case.

This became my song in the second decade of the 21st Century.

~~~

For more streams of consciousness and all the ruly and unruly things, visit our host, Linda Hill, who is clearly the best, by clicking HERE.

SoCS: The Power of Zero, Cat Stevens, and a “Submerged Object”

 The prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “zip, zero, zilch.” Use one, use ’em all, bonus points if you use all three. Have fun!

Zero is the number of romantic partners I had in the second half of the decade after my divorce. Five years doesn’t seem like such a long time now to be celibate or anything else. In the big picture, five years is not a long time when you have an abundance, a few quality friendships, dogs, and work to do on yourself. I had a romantic relationship with myself and with nature, and spiritual growth that required zero romantic distraction from other people. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time it was happening. There is power in zero, in solitude, in simplicity. Not to say my life was simple by any means.

One is not always the loneliest number, and zero doesn’t necessarily mean zilch. If you add zeros to a number, it increases the value.

Dave at Daily Ramblings shared a short Ted Talk on the origins of the number zero which started as a dot. It got me thinking of the old Cat Stevens/Yusuf album, Numbers, A Pythagorean Fairy Tale, which came out in 1975. The songs sort of told the story of the numbers one through nine and how everything changed when this new dude showed up named, Jzero. I listened to this album a lot in the second half of the decade that was the 70s. It was a confused time of my life when I kept getting distracted from college and from myself. My romantic partners during that time were distractions. I often felt lost or lost my sense of myself.

One of my favorite songs from the Numbers album was, “Drywood.” Part of it went something like,

“Like drywood takes to fire, the truth will come to you.

Like streams that seek the ocean, you will find ways through,

Like morning meets the moon, my love will guide the way.

It’s time to wipe your eyes now, and awake…..”

The song provided encouragement I needed and still holds a special place of gratitude in my heart.

Another of my favorite songs from the album was, “Home.” It’s a sweet song. Here’s an older Cat Stevens, aka, Yusuf, singing it. At the end he whispers, “Peace be with you.”

Well, time to zip up this post. Right after I add a few photos from the beach… Oh, there’s a video at the bottom.

“DANGER SUBMERGED OBJECT”

A submerged rock ?

A chunk of the jetty maybe?

~~~

For more streams of consciousness, rules, and such, visit our dedicated host, Linda Hill, by clicking HERE.

Completing Herself

She had always said,

“He does not complete me.”

With disdain, she said,

“He is not my better half

And I am not his.”

We are whole people.

But when, after two decades,

He up and left,

A gaping wound,

Invisible to the naked eye,

Left her vulnerable.

It would have been better

If the wound was visible,

Bandaged with a white flag.

She thought it was healing well,

But the wound festered.

She tried to fill the emptiness with

Anything that remotely resembled love,

And the wound became infected.

Finally, finally, she stopped trying to fill the wound

With a person who would never be enough.

She looked for herself in the woods.

She looked for herself in the water.

She looked in friendship,

Human and nonhuman furry friends.

She looked to God who opened her arms and held her close.

Finally, finally, she felt completed by all these things:

The constants that had always been there for her.

And the wound healed.

She looked for herself in the woods…

I’ve shared this photo of me before, but it fits so well today, I had to share it again. It was taken by my daughter about 15 years ago.

~~~

Today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt was:

…“comp.” Find a word that starts with or contains “comp” and use it in your post. Enjoy!

For more streams and SoCS rules, visit our host, Linda Hill, by clicking HERE.

SoCS: Let Go of the Shame, Remember the Lesson

Here’s today’s prompt: “let go.” Write about the first thing that comes to mind when you think “let go.” Enjoy!

Let go, already! It was practically 20 years ago! I was vulnerable and grieving. The rebound from hell lasted only one year – not long in the grand scheme of things. But still, I think, I should have known better, being a counselor and all. I suppose it can happen to anybody.

Maybe shame is like grief in that it still comes in waves as it dissipates. The waves do come further apart and are smaller. And I can say, STOP IT! sooner. Moving on….

Let go my ego! or is it, Let go OF my ego? (Ha! It’s supposed to be spelled Eggo, but I’m going to leave it as ego.) There have been a lot of pancake commercials on TV lately. Must be for IHOP or something. But they make me think about the pancake mix and sugar free syrup that have been in my frig for at least a year. Tomorrow will be cold, so maybe… No, I have plenty of other things to eat. But maybe…. STOP It! Maybe one day, I’ll throw the pancake mix away. Let it go.

Who’s going to share the song, “Let it Go,” from frozen? I don’t know, but it’s almost like a cliche now. I still like it anyway. Hey! I found a great meme with the smarter sister from Frozen. Let me find it…..

The lesson I learned from The Rebound from Hell was, don’t even date someone you just met. Find out about them, do a background check, and see if he meets your list of requirements. Then wait a while. That’s why David and I asked each other a lot of questions on the phone before we had our second first date, then a lot more questions before we got serious. My awesome supervisor at the time did an unofficial background check on David and only found good stuff. Thank God, I don’t have to worry about that anymore.

The key with any mistake is to let go of the shame and remember the lesson.

~~~

Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot it January are brought to us by Linda Hill. To learn more about #SoCS and #JusJoJan, click HERE.

Holding On and Letting Go

“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.” – Rumi

Linda’s post on clutter got me to find this Rumi quote in my drafts. Most of my Christmas decorations are still up because they’re pretty and bring me joy. I’m putting them away a little at a time and thinking of letting go of the red Christmas lights I haven’t used in two years. But it’s too late to donate them and I won’t throw them away. They gave me joy two years ago. Plus, I might use them again someday. (The cluttered person’s trap.)

The question came to me: If I organize it better, does that count as decluttering?

Things I want to let go of are those I don’t use AND that do not bring me joy. Emotionally, we need to let go of things that get in the way, harm us, or take up too much space, like grudges, shame, and emails that are a year old.

What do I want to hold on to? Things that I use or want to use if they will be good for me. We want to hold on to the constants in our lives that give us joy, strength, or serenity. For me that would be nature, art, healthy relationships, and God’s love. I write about these constants in From Loneliness to Love.

As far as the red Christmas lights go, I’m going to let go of worrying about it and put them in a red tin can (new clutter) with a note attached to donate before Christmas.

What do you want to hold on to?

~~~

For more one-liners, #JusJoJan jottings, and guidelines for each, visit our host, Linda Hill here.

SoCS: One Good Thing and Being Authentic with Betty

Our prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “resolve.” Use it as a noun or a verb. Have fun!

One of my Facebook friends, one who I greatly appreciate, asked a question something like,

What’s one good thing you accomplished, experienced, or learned in 2021?

It’s a good question to ask when a year’s been hard and we want it to be over and done with. Some good things happened. Just check out my Good News Tuesday posts. We need to recognize our accomplishments and learnings and carry that good energy over into the new year. As they say in 12 step programs, take what you can use and leave the rest.

In January of 2021, I started working with a personal trainer almost every week. I did not lose any weight. But I must be stronger, because I can do more squats and hold a plank much longer now than I could in January. Not that the end result is much to brag about, but I’ve made progress which is way more important and realistic than perfection.

In 2022, I resolve to continue that progress. Some years, I’ve had very specific goals. Lists even. Not this year. Just progress and being careful about my time. Before I commit to anything ongoing, I’m going to give it a lot of thought. Volunteering at the farm animal sanctuary feels right to me and sits well with my soul. Other things I signed up for, like being on a community committee for a cause I care about, took too much time away from other things, like writing and just being me. Our new dog, Marley, takes a lot of time, and that’s okay. He’s family.

What this is really about is being authentic. Being true to my soul. Being retired means, no one can make me do anything. I’m gonna listen to God’s nudges. Well, I’ll feel the nudges and pay attention and listen to God’s whispers. But God knows I’ve paid my dues, and it’s okay to enjoy life. I resolve to make time for R&R : rest and recreation/relaxation, even if that means watching reruns of Star Trek, Big Bang, or The Golden Girls or Mary Tyler Moore in honor of Betty White who just died at the age of 99. I don’t think she ever really retired, but she sure did have fun.

Before she was a Golden Girl, Betty White was on the Mary Tyler Moore Show which I loved. Or at least liked a lot when I was single watching reruns. This clip shows Betty White playing Sue Ann who wants to be more authentic.

If you remember the MTM show, you’ll remember the lyrics to the theme song:

How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl this time you’re all alone
But it’s time you started living
It’s time you let someone else do some giving

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have the town, why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all
You’re gonna make it after all

source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/marytylermooreshowlyrics.html

Who knows? Maybe we’ll make it after all.

What’s something good you accomplished, experienced, or learned in 2021?

~~~

For more streams of consciousness, resolve to visit our host, Linda Hill by clicking here.

Happy New Year!