SoCS: Let Go of the Shame, Remember the Lesson

Here’s today’s prompt: “let go.” Write about the first thing that comes to mind when you think “let go.” Enjoy!

Let go, already! It was practically 20 years ago! I was vulnerable and grieving. The rebound from hell lasted only one year – not long in the grand scheme of things. But still, I think, I should have known better, being a counselor and all. I suppose it can happen to anybody.

Maybe shame is like grief in that it still comes in waves as it dissipates. The waves do come further apart and are smaller. And I can say, STOP IT! sooner. Moving on….

Let go my ego! or is it, Let go OF my ego? (Ha! It’s supposed to be spelled Eggo, but I’m going to leave it as ego.) There have been a lot of pancake commercials on TV lately. Must be for IHOP or something. But they make me think about the pancake mix and sugar free syrup that have been in my frig for at least a year. Tomorrow will be cold, so maybe… No, I have plenty of other things to eat. But maybe…. STOP It! Maybe one day, I’ll throw the pancake mix away. Let it go.

Who’s going to share the song, “Let it Go,” from frozen? I don’t know, but it’s almost like a cliche now. I still like it anyway. Hey! I found a great meme with the smarter sister from Frozen. Let me find it…..

The lesson I learned from The Rebound from Hell was, don’t even date someone you just met. Find out about them, do a background check, and see if he meets your list of requirements. Then wait a while. That’s why David and I asked each other a lot of questions on the phone before we had our second first date, then a lot more questions before we got serious. My awesome supervisor at the time did an unofficial background check on David and only found good stuff. Thank God, I don’t have to worry about that anymore.

The key with any mistake is to let go of the shame and remember the lesson.

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Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot it January are brought to us by Linda Hill. To learn more about #SoCS and #JusJoJan, click HERE.

SoCS: Handsome is Just Icing on the Cake

Today’s SoCS post is “icing on the cake,” because HAPPY BIRTHDAY to LINDA, our SoCS, #JusJoJan host! Linda asks that we write about the first thing that comes to mind when we think about the phrase, icing on the cake.

My husband David is icing on the cake. Not that we eat a lot of sweets, but he’s an extra blessing. Before he came back into my life, I was willing to stay single and starting to accept that, if me staying single was what God wanted. I focused on the things single women have accomplished and the advantages of being single – the freedom, no snoring, doing yoga while watching TV with no make-up on (which I do anyway.) It’s totally okay to be single. And I’d always have dogs for company.

Having a compatible partner is icing on the cake – extra. He’s not perfect of course. He snores and he doesn’t like to watch TV, so I watch whatever I want while doing yoga with no make-up. And he doesn’t like coconut. It’s a texture thing. Like I don’t like sauerkraut. It’s a texture and a smell thing. Yuck. But David is intelligent, handsome, spiritual, and he loves dogs. Handsome is icing on the cake. It’s also a strange word, hand some. As in, hand some cake over.

Getting back to coconut, my favorite icing on a cake would be the coconut pecan icing that normally comes on German chocolate cake. I would put that icing on dark chocolate cake with chocolate chips in the cake and more nuts, because I’m nuts about nuts. It would all be vegan, preferably, which is entirely possible, and while I’m at it, no calories, which is very unlikely, unless I’m imagining the whole thing which is probably for the best. But I could have some nuts and dark chocolate which I do have on hand. Some.

Now “some” looks weird. Somewhere over the rainbow way up high. Okay, enough already.

For rules and other details about Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot it January

visit Linda Hill’s post by clicking HERE.

SoCS: Puzzle Pieces and Loving the Unvaccinated

Today’s Friday excellent prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is…… “puzzle.” Use it any way you’d like!

Puzzles are a big part of life. Big puzzles and little puzzles. Hard puzzles that take years and years to figure out, like, Is there a life partner out there for me, and where the hell is he? What’s taking so long? Oh, I need to work on me first. Finally figured that out. Now it makes sense. Self love and spirituality were pieces of the puzzle. And it wasn’t all about me.

There are easy puzzles, too, like what to have for dinner. What should go in the soup? Some things don’t fit, but must do if you’re willing to be adventurous. And then there are all those in between puzzles.

People could be like puzzle pieces. We need lots of different pieces. The best puzzles are diverse, with lots of different colors. Some of us are on the edges, some in the middle, and there are cornerstones. With buildings, cornerstones are important. And there’s more than one. Maybe even more than four. I don’t know.

What happens when we are missing pieces to our puzzles of life? We wait. We search, or we accept. Maybe we could even make our own piece of the puzzle. Like cut it out of cardboard and color it just right to fit. Maybe it will work. Then maybe we find the other piece. Or not. It’s okay.

It’s puzzling that some people refuse to get vaccinated and refuse or resist wearing masks. Some of them are my family members who I love dearly, and so I worry about them. I can’t just write them off. When I work to try to understand their reasons for not being vaccinated or wearing masks, there is more than one reason. But when I really listen, deep down it is about fear. Misguided, irrational, and confused, in my opinion, but still fear, not selfishness. I don’t know the answer, and I don’t know if I can change their minds. Still, I let them know about my friend who died from Covid and my friend’s son who died from covid last week at the age of 36. Neither were vaccinated. Still, I love them, my unvaccinated loved ones, with a little more distance, but just as much love as ever.

Here are a few photos from my grand daughter’s 10th birthday party. It was all about unicorns!

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  Unicorn Cake

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  Unicorn  Piñata

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  Birthday Princess

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  Cousins

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  with Matching Rainbow Dresses

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  I don’t want to watch.

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  Grandma Necklace

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  Time to Go Home

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  Unicorn Dreamin’

For more on Stream of Consciousness Saturday, visit our host, Linda Hill, at :

https://lindaghill.com/2021/09/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-18-2021/

SoCS: Hope for the Best and Trust the Timing

Linda picked my favorite word for today’s prompt: HOPE!

If you can’t find faith, look for hope. Hope will lead you to faith.

About 15 years ago, I was afraid to hope. Romance was not working out for me at all, so I tried not to want a partner. I tried to become cynical about men. I decided to focus on myself and my daughter, friendship, and of course my most loyal companions, the dogs.

But hope snuck back in. I read about manifesting, and visualizing. Of course, this was AFTER I had worked on myself some. For five years, I hadn’t dated anyone beyond a coffee shop visit. No one interesting seemed interested in me. Now, I know that was all part of the plan created by God, the Universe, my guardian angels who were tired of my dating messes and lessons. They all knew I had work to do on me first.

At the same time I was working on me, licking my wounds, and finding my footing again, my high school sweetheart and long lost first love was doing the same – working on himself. We were becoming ready.

Have you seen my wild woman photo? It was taken around that time when I was working on me. My daughter and I had gone on a trip to the mountains. I love this photo.

It was comfortably dark in the forest, and I’m resisting the urge to edit this photo.

I see that I posted it back in 2013. Well, here it is again. I thought I was lonely, but I was finding myself. My authentic self. I’m guessing this was taken around 2006, but that’s just a guess.

Well, here we are in 2021. David and I are coming up on the ten year anniversary of our second first date which was July 15, 2011. We were so nervous and excited. He says he wasn’t looking for a relationship. I told my heart to calm down! But we both knew this was extra special. In October, the company he had worked for in Connecticut for 35 years told him it was time to retire. That spring he moved in with his 3 dogs to make our five pack. In December of 2012, we made it official. I know you’ve seen that photo before. But maybe the five pack one not as often.

David and I walking the five pack.

The five pack is gone now. They’ve all crossed over the rainbow bridge in the past ten years. I miss them and hope to see them in heaven. That’s more than a hope. Do I have faith that I’ll see my dogs in heaven? Yes. God knows how important this is to me.

Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst if it’s likely to happen, but don’t spend a lot of time on that. It’s like with tropical storms and hurricanes. We knew Elsa would not do as much damage as a big hurricane, so we didn’t spend much time preparing. Just a little.

We can strengthen ourselves for the difficult times as we hope for the best. Like my favorite quote goes:

I hope you are well and at peace as much as you can be. Enjoy the hopes that come your way. Nurture them and they will become exactly what they are meant to be when the time is right.

For more streams of hope, visit our host, Linda Hill at:

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS July 10, 2021 | (lindaghill.com)

SoCS: The Pursuit of Happiness

Today’s Stream of Consciousness post is:

“hat/het/hit/hot/hut.” Choose one, choose ’em all, put ’em in your post. Enjoy!

What? I don’t know. Hut is interesting from a Gilligan’s Island frame of mind. They had a good thing on that island. There’s a song in my head that goes, “Gilligan, take my advice. Don’t try so hard to escape paradise.” Maybe I’ll look for it later. Maybe not. In reality, I don’t know that I’d really want to live in a hut. Maybe if there was a nice bed with a good mattress, and a toilet, and toilet paper, and plenty of mosquito netting. A luxury hut. That might work.

I had to look up “het.” Come to find out, it is short for heterosexual. That’s me. I’m a het. I guess. Still, there’s a lot of what they used to call, “tomboy,” in me. When I was looking for a soulmate, while trying to not look and trying to be cynical, I figured that if I found someone who was compatible, someone who brought me comfort and joy and met my criteria, like loving dogs, being respectful, etc., it would not matter if the person was male or female. Logically, I still think that way. But I always imagined myself with a male partner, and that’s what I got. Imagination is powerful.

During the lonely years. I used to watch a lot of NCIS and found Gibbs to be more attractive over time. My husband does look a little like Gibbs, but taller. I’m grateful. So grateful. Step 5 in my short short book, From Loneliness to Love is, “Imagine the Best.” That doesn’t mean perfect, but perfect for what we need to grow and be happy. Reasonably happy.

Reasonably happy. Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The Pursuit of Happyness is a great movie for Father’s Day. It’s based on a true story of a homeless father, played by Will Smith, who with heartbreaking perseverance, eventually gets a job on wall street.

On June 19th, 1865, years after the Emancipation Proclamation, African Americans in Texas were finally informed they were free. They had the opportunity, knowing they had the right, to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Now, June 19th is a Federal holiday in the US. That’s good news for Good News Tuesday!

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Thank you to Linda Hill for our prompt and for hosting, SoCS! For more streams and rules, visit Linda’s blog:

The Friday Reminder and Prompt for #SoCS June 19, 2021 | (lindaghill.com)

One-Liner Wednesday: On Being Late

Sometimes being late is right on time.

Sometimes late is late. I have to admit that up front, because I tend to run late. I stay up late. I like to sleep late. I was a late bloomer. Often I’ll get to a WP neighbor’s blog post late, but it seems to be right when I needed to read it. I was generally on time for work – thank God I don’t have that obligation anymore. I’m on time for doctor appointments which I try to schedule in the afternoon. I’m on time for church since my husband is a morning person and my awareness that he likes to be early nudges me along.

We were both in our 50s when the love of my life found me again. That seems late in life, but it was right on time. I had promised myself I’d stop looking for a partner until after my daughter graduated from high school. The day after her graduation ceremony is when my high school sweetheart found me again. It took 39 years of learning and growth for us to be ready to meet again. (Click my book cover on the sidebar if you want to learn more.)

I’m planning to share the FB message David sent me on Sunday or Monday. He says he sent it on Sunday June 13, 2011. FB says June 14. I’ll probably go with David. He’s always on time.

For more one liners please visit our host, Linda Hill at One-Liner Wednesday – Late to the party | (lindaghill.com)

JusJoJan: The Spell was in His Smell

1972

JoAnna’s brain kept nagging her. Be careful! People are on their best behavior when you first meet them.

But this isn’t the first time we’ve met him, said her heart.

A lot can change in 39 years. Yeah, he was a good guy when you dated in high school, but who knows what he might really be like now. For all we know, he could be a —-

“Don’t go there,” JoAnna intervened before her brain’s imagination ran down the dark road. “Let’s just wait and see. What we do know is that he has been working as a firefighter and EMT for the past 15 years. That should at least count for something. I’m taking it slow.”

I’ve heard that before, said her brain.

Shush! said her heart. Last night was wonderful. He was a perfect gentleman. Our second first date…. And that kiss….. our second first kiss…. it was divine. This was meant to be. You know, there’s the timing. And we’ve had all those phone conversations. He drove all the way down here from Connecticut!

Well, just remember, JoAnna, said her brain, “Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.” The brain really should be in charge anyway. You know how much trouble the heart has gotten you in to. Not to mention the body….

“Enough!” JoAnna said. “I’ve got to get some sleep! Big day tomorrow.”

On their second second date, David and JoAnna went to the beach to watch the summer sunset. She leaned back against his strong chest and felt the comfortable security of his well-muscled arms wrapped around her. She kept both her heart and brain quiet as they watched the golden light spread across the horizon and reflect on the intracoastal waterway. David continued to be a perfect gentleman which the brain and heart both liked, though the body was slightly annoyed.

Sunday was their last day together before David returned to Connecticut. After church, they sat on the couch in JoAnna’s living room. They talked very little and mostly absorbed the weekend and each other’s presence. JoAnna placed her head on his shoulder then lifted her nose to his neck. She inhaled deeply. The result was intoxicating.

“You smell good,” She murmured. “Are you wearing any cologne or anything?”

“No. I guess it’s just me.”

She lifted his hand and smelled the inside of his wrist. It smelled good, too, but not as good as his neck. Her nose lingered just below his ear as she continued to breath deeply falling under the spell of his pheromones. It started to dawn on her. He had been her first boyfriend back in 1972. His smell had been imprinted on her brain.

This could be dangerous, whispered her brain.

Just shut up and enjoy it, her heart said dreamily.

We have to stick together, said her brain. Don’t go anywhere without me.

Yeah, whatever.

___

If you’d like to read more about the romance of JoAnna and David and what it took for them to find each other after 39 years, read Trust the Timing, A Memoir of Finding Love Again, or the short version, From Loneliness to Love. Just click on the books in the right sidebar above.

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Today’s Just Jot January prompt was the word, “spell.” For more jottings and info, visit our host, Linda Hill at:

#JusJoJan prompt the 21st – “Spell” | (lindaghill.com)

An Interview and Review of From Loneliness to Love

Thank you so much to Jane Sturgeon for this interview and review of From Loneliness to Love! Please click on the link to Jane’s blog:

https://janesturgeon.com/joanne-maccos-latest-book-from-loneliness-to-love-five-steps-for-finding-a-healthy-relationship-review-and-interview/

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” It is chock full of loving wisdom which is gentle, practical and relatable and her suggestions are fabulous and do-able. ” Jane Sturgeon

SoCS: Look Before You Link

These days linking is done mostly through our computers. In bloglandia, we’re used to this type of connection. I find it comforting. Do I add a link to my new book? Not yet. We’ll see.

Some of the book is about linking with the wrong person and how to find the right person – a compatible person who is a good fit. Not someone who has fits. Now, I’m streaming. Those kinds of fits aren’t in the book. But you don’t want to be around someone who has fits, do you? Like hissy fits, or fighting fits, or even being fit to be tied. Not often anyway. Where was I going with this?

I had a list of traits I was looking for in a compatible partner. Some things were non- negotiable, like, “Must Love Dogs.” I got that one. Maybe the one about “not snoring loud” should not have been way at the bottom on the list. I did not get that one. But it’s not a deal breaker. Thank goodness.

Link with someone you trust. But how do you know? People are on their best behavior when you first meet them. It takes time to find out what someone is really like. And then if you link, and find out, oops, this person is crazy and not in a good way, you have to unlink.

If I could go back in time to the rebound from hell and tell myself something, I would tell myself around the second or third date, “GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!” But I didn’t. Due to my vulnerable state of low self worth, I was linked in there for a year. Which was 365 days too long.

I didn’t mean to write all about that. But it (the rebound from hell) gave me compassion for people who stay too long in unhealthy or abusive relationships. Maybe it can help someone avoid the mistakes I made. That’s the point of my new book. That and manifesting. What a weird word. How about making your dreams come true? That’s better.

Some links can be great. Strong. Stable, a good fit. Like when you find the puzzle piece that really does fit, and it makes the picture make sense. And you don’t have to force it. Cause if it don’t fit, don’t force it. A good link makes the whole thing work better. So look before you link. Ask a lot of questions. Or stay home and read a book, or watch TV. Learn stuff. Love yourself. Be well.

We don’t need a link to the book. You can just click on the top right picture of the cover of From Loneliness to Love if you’d like, or scroll down below the post.

But we do need a link to Linda, who gave us this prompt for SoCS. Here it is:

https://lindaghill.com/2020/07/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-18-2020/

And here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. I will post the prompt here on my blog every Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The,’” or will simply be a single word to get you started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read all of them! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later or go to the previous week by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!

One-Liner Wednesday: Timing and Joy

“In God’s good plan, there is a reason why today is not tomorrow.”

Curtis Almquist

Sometimes we wonder what’s taking so long.

In The Twelve Days of Christmas, Curtis Almquist writes “We need the provisions of today to prepare us to receive the promises of tomorrow.”  He writes about how joy takes time, acceptance, and desire.

This reaffirms my story.

Ten years ago, I’d look up at the stars in my backyard and ask, “Is there someone out there for me? Don’t I deserve to be happy?”

The answer was yes. But first, I had to learn to be happy with me.

It took 39 years for my soulmate to find me again. We needed every one of those years, with their provisions and lessons, to become ready to journey together.

 

My wish for each of us is that we find joy in the gifts of today.

 

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For more one-liners, or to join in, visit our host, Linda Hill at:

https://lindaghill.com/2019/12/18/one-liner-wednesday-mugshot/

Here are the guidelines:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!