We learn that we are neither devils nor divines….”
Maya Angelou
This quote is from Dr. Maya Angelou’s powerful poem, “A Brave and Startling Truth.”
We, this people, on a small and lonely planet Traveling through casual space Past aloof stars, across the way of indifferent suns To a destination where all signs tell us It is possible and imperative that we learn A brave and startling truth
And when we come to it To the day of peacemaking When we release our fingers From fists of hostility And allow the pure air to cool our palms
When we come to it When the curtain falls on the minstrel show of hate And faces sooted with scorn are scrubbed clean When battlefields and coliseum No longer rake our unique and particular sons and daughters Up with the bruised and bloody grass To lie in identical plots in foreign soil
When the rapacious storming of the churches The screaming racket in the temples have ceased When the pennants are waving gaily When the banners of the world tremble Stoutly in the good, clean breeze
When we come to it When we let the rifles fall from our shoulders And children dress their dolls in flags of truce When land mines of death have been removed And the aged can walk into evenings of peace When religious ritual is not perfumed By the incense of burning flesh And childhood dreams are not kicked awake By nightmares of abuse
When we come to it Then we will confess that not the Pyramids With their stones set in mysterious perfection Nor the Gardens of Babylon Hanging as eternal beauty In our collective memory Not the Grand Canyon Kindled into delicious color By Western sunsets
Nor the Danube, flowing its blue soul into Europe Not the sacred peak of Mount Fuji Stretching to the Rising Sun Neither Father Amazon nor Mother Mississippi who, without favor, Nurture all creatures in the depths and on the shores These are not the only wonders of the world
When we come to it We, this people, on this minuscule and kithless globe Who reach daily for the bomb, the blade and the dagger Yet who petition in the dark for tokens of peace We, this people on this mote of matter In whose mouths abide cankerous words Which challenge our very existence Yet out of those same mouths Come songs of such exquisite sweetness That the heart falters in its labor And the body is quieted into awe
We, this people, on this small and drifting planet Whose hands can strike with such abandon That in a twinkling, life is sapped from the living Yet those same hands can touch with such healing, irresistible tenderness That the haughty neck is happy to bow And the proud back is glad to bend Out of such chaos, of such contradiction We learn that we are neither devils nor divines
When we come to it We, this people, on this wayward, floating body Created on this earth, of this earth Have the power to fashion for this earth A climate where every man and every woman Can live freely without sanctimonious piety Without crippling fear
When we come to it We must confess that we are the possible We are the miraculous, the true wonder of this world That is when, and only when We come to it.”
Linda picked my favorite word for today’s prompt: HOPE!
If you can’t find faith, look for hope. Hope will lead you to faith.
About 15 years ago, I was afraid to hope. Romance was not working out for me at all, so I tried not to want a partner. I tried to become cynical about men. I decided to focus on myself and my daughter, friendship, and of course my most loyal companions, the dogs.
But hope snuck back in. I read about manifesting, and visualizing. Of course, this was AFTER I had worked on myself some. For five years, I hadn’t dated anyone beyond a coffee shop visit. No one interesting seemed interested in me. Now, I know that was all part of the plan created by God, the Universe, my guardian angels who were tired of my dating messes and lessons. They all knew I had work to do on me first.
At the same time I was working on me, licking my wounds, and finding my footing again, my high school sweetheart and long lost first love was doing the same – working on himself. We were becoming ready.
Have you seen my wild woman photo? It was taken around that time when I was working on me. My daughter and I had gone on a trip to the mountains. I love this photo.
It was comfortably dark in the forest, and I’m resisting the urge to edit this photo.
I see that I posted it back in 2013. Well, here it is again. I thought I was lonely, but I was finding myself. My authentic self. I’m guessing this was taken around 2006, but that’s just a guess.
Well, here we are in 2021. David and I are coming up on the ten year anniversary of our second first date which was July 15, 2011. We were so nervous and excited. He says he wasn’t looking for a relationship. I told my heart to calm down! But we both knew this was extra special. In October, the company he had worked for in Connecticut for 35 years told him it was time to retire. That spring he moved in with his 3 dogs to make our five pack. In December of 2012, we made it official. I know you’ve seen that photo before. But maybe the five pack one not as often.
David and I walking the five pack.
The five pack is gone now. They’ve all crossed over the rainbow bridge in the past ten years. I miss them and hope to see them in heaven. That’s more than a hope. Do I have faith that I’ll see my dogs in heaven? Yes. God knows how important this is to me.
Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst if it’s likely to happen, but don’t spend a lot of time on that. It’s like with tropical storms and hurricanes. We knew Elsa would not do as much damage as a big hurricane, so we didn’t spend much time preparing. Just a little.
We can strengthen ourselves for the difficult times as we hope for the best. Like my favorite quote goes:
I hope you are well and at peace as much as you can be. Enjoy the hopes that come your way. Nurture them and they will become exactly what they are meant to be when the time is right.
For more streams of hope, visit our host, Linda Hill at:
I’m sending this back in time to myself whenever it’s needed most, sometime in my late teens or early twenties when I had thoughts about suicide.
Dear JoAnne,
It’s me, your future self, writing this to you when I am 65 years old which doesn’t feel as old as I thought it would back then when I was 20. Believe me, there is plenty of life to live.
I know this is hard time for you. I know you are confused and lost trying to figure out what to do with your life. I know your heart aches and that you’ve had thoughts of giving up. Don’t give up! It’s very important that you know life will get better. There will be hard times ahead. There will be times when you feel your heart is breaking, but the good times will vastly, surely, and greatly outweigh the bad. When I look back at all the good times over the past 45 years, I am so grateful that I didn’t give up.
You will gradually gain the skills to navigate and overcome the hard times. Things that seem impossible now, will someday be easier or less important.
There are good times, wonderful times, ahead with the constants in your life: nature, art, writing, dogs, horses, cats, learning, and spirituality. These are the things you need to focus on now – the true loves of your life that always nurture your spirit and feed your soul. There will be love. Love from men, friends, and family. Your parents love you very much, even more than you can realize right now since you haven’t had children, yet, but you will. The love of family and friends is important. For now, don’t worry about the men, especially the ones who act like boys. You deserve love that is kind and caring, mature and strong. It might take a while, but you will have it. For now focus on loving yourself.
You are valuable! You are worth so much more than you know. You have so much to give to this world with all your gifts, gifts that are still being developed.
I know you might not want to hear this right now, but God loves you deeply, profoundly and forever. Just trust me on this. Your family is praying for you every day. Let this knowledge strengthen you. I know your ideas about religion are eclectic and nontraditional, and that’s okay. That’s part of who you are. But understand that there is a Higher Power who loves you dearly and has a wonderful plan for you! Trust the timing.
So, forget about men for now. Remember your dreams. Your dreams may change, but they will always be about helping others and Mother Earth. For now, focus on loving yourself and learning. Cut down on the drinking. Be safe. Go back to college. Feel free to explore different classes, different interests.
There’s a whole world of possibilities waiting for you!
I’m sending big hugs and abundant love across time to you. Be still for a moment and feel it. Then move forward with you wonderful life. I promise your life will be will be interesting, beautiful and full of wonder.
I love you always,
JoAnna
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Today’s Just Jot January topic was, “Letter.” I’m thankful to E for her nudge and patience on this letter and to Linda, our JusJoJan host for getting me to go through my draft ideas to get it written.
Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is… “medium.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!
When I read the prompt, I remembered something we learned in journalism class in the community college I went to before I decided to major in psychology. This was in the late 70s and I flirted with the idea of being a journalist. We went on a field trip to the newspaper and I was told that they better not hear of any of their journalists having their name on a petition, let alone, starting a petition, which I was known to do in my little community college where I got to be a big fish in a little pond. So I decided not to major in journalism because I might want to start a petition some time.
But back to the message which was, “The medium is the message.” That was a famous quote by Marshal McLuhan, probably in the early 70s or late 60s. When I saw the prompt and remembered the quote, I became curious and looked it up. That was at least an hour ago so I’m writing from memory in SoCS style and not breaking the rules. Not this time, anyway.
I now understand the quote, “The medium is the message,” a little better having read a brief summary that refreshed my memory. The message is made up of content and character. The medium of mainstream TV news, or even on-line news, has a sensationalizing character which affects the choice of words and content. Too much news can make us crazy. But we have a lot more control if we read the news, than if we watch one of the major networks at 6:30 PM. Oh, we can turn it off or change the channel, but reading or browsing gives us more choice about what we focus on. That’s why I try not to scroll on Facebook. Facebook is a medium which is part of media. Social media is plural. My FB page is a social medium.
Medium can refer to what type of substances I use to make art. I usually do acrylics, but have experimented with alcohol ink. Collage can be fun, then there’s mixed media.
Medium can be comfortable, an in between place on the thermostat or a setting on the stove. It’s the safest bet in most cases, unless you’re talking with a psychic medium.
I went to a psychic once. She said I had been imprisoned as a witch in a far ago past life, but that I was not a witch and never had been. I got this image of brick walls. I’d forgotten about that. It was like 15 years ago. There was a time when I thought I might become a Christian psychic. I bought this book about becoming a Christian psychic on my kindle but I seem to have lost it when I got my new phone. Never read it, but I’m still interested. I bet they (as in Christian psychics) recommend lots of preliminary prayers for protection. It’s not something I’d want to jump into without protection.
Maybe psychic ability is something science will be able to explain some day. There’s a reason why I can find a lost item (sometimes) when I shut my brain off and just tell my body to take me to it. We know stuff that we don’t know we know. Science feels safe when it can explain things. But some things do require faith. That reminds me of the movie, Contact, which is one of my very favorite movies.
In Contact, Jodie Foster plays a scientist who is an atheist. She has an experience with extraterrestrials but has no proof. Her friend and love interest is Palmer, a man of faith played by Matthew McConaughey. I love Ellie’s speech at 2 minutes into this clip. The movie (one medium) is based on a novel (another medium) written by Carl Sagan. Early in the story, they get a message from the extraterrestrials in another medium.
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For more takes on medium, and the rules, visit our SoCS host, Linda Hill at:
Today’s prompt is simply the word, “toss,” with the encouragement to use it any way we like and to enjoy!
It’s a toss up. Will I toss and turn tonight or sleep well and deeply? I think I will lean toward the latter. I’m in the mountains this weekend, and fresh air will help me sleep. That’s what Mom always said. The grand kids are here, and we’re not as cuddly as usual because of the thing. But we did a little hike this afternoon and will go on a longer one tomorrow which will be Saturday.
I’m writing this on Friday night as usual. The sky has a pink glow beyond the abundance of trees. I’ve been wanting to find a kayak to use on the nearby lake. Been looking on line and nothing is jumping out at me. Plus I need would like to have it delivered – something I’ve never done with something that big. Craig’s list doesn’t have anything in the area. When things aren’t happening in my expected time frame, I have to remember that God might have a plan, even for something as minor as a kayak. So, I’m going to toss this desire up to God. It worked with my desire for a compatible partner.
Tossing a thing up to God does not relieve me of responsibility. I still have to look around and take care of business. I just don’t need to fret over it. Or anything. So, sometimes, the fretting goes away for a little while, until it comes back. But those moments of letting go and trusting the timing do feel good. Like taking off a heavy pack and tossing it someplace for safekeeping. Or tossing our cares to the wind so we can run free, at least for a while. When it’s time, we pick up the responsibilities that are truly ours – our actions and words, thoughts, and prayers, hopes and dreams…. perhaps for peace starting in our own minds and our own hearts.
Here’s a recent photo I took because I thought I saw angels in the sky. By the time I took the shot, they had already started to disperse. What do you see?
Happy Freedom Day!
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For more streams of consciousness, visit Linda Hill at this link:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. I will post the prompt here on my blog every Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The,’” or will simply be a single word to get you started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read all of them! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later or go to the previous week by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
Today’s prompt is “flyer/ad.” We are to look at the latest flyer or ad we got in the mail of which I get plenty, but we drove to the mountains yesterday and all the mail is at home. No mailbox here, so no junk mail! Yay! Another option Linda gave us was an on-line ad. Hmmm. That will work, because I want to write about a movie I watched after seeing the trailer on line, probably on YouTube. The trailer for Harriet, intrigued me. It’s the story of Harriet Tubman and how she got to rescue so many slaves through the underground railroad.
The movie had me on the edge of my seat with the escape scenes. Would they make it? Or would they get caught and be beat to death? It had me in tears, too. The kind of tears that are like happy tears, but also being MOVED profoundly and some sad tears. I learned so much more about Harriet Tubman than I ever imagined beyond the little I got from history class.
She was a real life hero with a supernatural ability to see visions or warnings from God. That’s how the movie portrayed her gift of “spells” from brain damage when she had her skull “cracked” as a slave. Her spirituality awed me. I want to watch the movie again and take notes. Knowing more of her story, the trailer now gives me chills. Her courage took her into the realms of what was once thought impossible. I think she had an army of angels watching her, guiding her.
Go see this powerful movie!
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For more streams of consciousness, visit Linda G. Hill at
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. I will post the prompt here on my blog every Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The,’” or will simply be a single word to get you started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read all of them! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later or go to the previous week by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
Being almost vegetarian, beans are a big part of my diet. Yet I am cautious as the amount of beans I will eat in one sitting. You can imagine why. If there are a lot of beans in my minestrone soup, I give some to my husband. He is not cautious about beans at all.
“Give the boy beans they said; it’ll be alright.”
That’s what my husband David always says when we talk about beans or I give him some of mine. I figured it was something he heard from his grandpa Malcolm. But when I asked David about it, he said he made it up himself more recently in response Mr. Willie, the cook at the Mission where David worked and still volunteers. They joke a lot about food among other things.
I like the part about “It’ll be alright,” which in the big picture is usually the case.
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One-Liner Wednesday is brought to us by Linda G. Hill. For more one-liners and the guidelines, visit:
“ends with -ly.” Start your post with any adverb (oops) that ends in “-ly.” Bonus points if you end with an adverb too. Have fun!
I choose lonely. It’s not that I choose to be lonely. I’m not lonely anymore. I like to be alone with the dogs, writing and puttering around the house. But I was lonely for a partner, oh, ten or so years ago. Except that I didn’t want a partner who added stress to my life, so I waited and learned to trust the timing. I’m still learning that with other things in my life and realizing what a gift it is to have this time to work on my parents’ old house while our house gets finished and we get to paint the walls!
I’ve been reading the letters my mother wrote to my father when he was in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba after having served 13 months in Vietnam. Her letters are very enlightening and sometimes uncomfortable since they are personal. She writes about how lonely she is and how much she misses him and how she (and us girls) can’t take more separations. I’m learning about how she would find me up reading at 2 am on a school night and how my sister and I were, “sassy.” We were 10 and 12. I was a big tomboy 12 year old. I know now that most 12 year old girls are sassy. Sorry mom.
My mom was sick a lot and so was my little sister. Mom writes about a cough that won’t go away. I’ve gotten through January and part of February 1968, and she’s still coughing to the point of exhaustion. I resented my mother being sick so much with migraines and nervous break downs when dad was in Vietnam and I was 11. These letters are giving me more compassion as I read her inner struggles of taking care of a home and two sassy girls and missing her man. It also dawned on me that the contaminated drinking water at Camp Lejeune/Tarawa Terrace probably didn’t help her get well. There’s a big thing about that now, but I’ve read many claims have been denied. My parent’s died of “natural causes” in their eighties, but I bet that water contributed to some health problems even if it didn’t kill us.
Dad used to talk to me in his later years about Vietnam and GTMO. Awful stuff. Horrible stuff that gave him nightmares for the rest of his life. After Vietnam, he came home for three months, and then they sent him to GTMO for five months. He told me he drank a lot while in Cuba. He had PTSD before they called it that. A chaplain helped him. I wish I knew his name and could thank him if he’s still alive. Thank you anyway, Chaplain who served at GTMO and helped my dad. I think he needed this time in Cuba maybe to begin to process Vietnam – a job that would never be finished. It was so hard on my mom and him. The separations put a lot of pressure on their marriage. ( I didn’t know this until I started reading mom’s letters.)
And yet they made it through. Their deep love and their strong faith helped them through the maze and mess of PTSD and all the other challenges life threw at them. I did know that they were very much in love. They were married for over 50 years and still got smoochy sometimes. Dad used to sing to mom, “I love you, a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck.”
Love and faith and time overcome loneliness. When we are lonely, God loves us no matter what. And dogs too. 😉 I’m reminded of one of my favorite poems from Mary Oliver, “Wild Geese.”
“Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination….” Mary Oliver
I’ve probably shared the lonely people song at least a couple of times before on this blog, but it means a lot to me, so here it is again with different pictures.
PS: I now realize that I didn’t follow the prompt corrrectly since Linda asked for an adverb and lonely is an adjective. Letting it be is my goal here. This is progress for a recovering rule follower/people pleaser.
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To learn more or join in the stream, visit Linda at:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. I will post the prompt here on my blog every Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The,’” or will simply be a single word to get you started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read all of them! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later or go to the previous week by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
I’m very close to finishing up with my dad’s room. Today, I finished the closet, except for some shirts. I already donated about 30 pairs of pants, or as my dad would say, trousers. After wrapping several years of receipts and tax records in paper bags and duct tape and lugging them to the trash, I finally went to reach up to the top closet shelf. There were more tax records to wrap, a picture of some general or colonel he must have served under, and finally a large padded envelope. What could it be? Something important, I imagined.
Inside the envelope was a thin red book with the Marine Corps emblem. Opening the book, I discovered it was a folder with my dad’s certificate of retirement after 20 years in the Corps and a photos of him with 17 other retirees in khaki uniforms. My dad was clearly the handsomest. But they made a mistake on the date! The certificate says he retired in 1979. But he retired in June of 1969 right after I finished 6th grade. Oh, well.
I carried the red folder in the chair I keep in my dad’s room, my grief chair, where I go to feeling my feelings, and cried. I’m not sure if it was the significance of the retirement certificate or that I hadn’t cried in a while and have been working intensely on this room for a few days. Then Doodle came in, tail wagging and a concerned look in her big brown eyes. She can be a sweet dog sometimes.
I took a breath and decided to talk to my parents:
“I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate you more when you were alive. All the challenges and struggles you went through. Your strength. Your courage. Your faith. Thank you for passing that on to me. If you can, guide me, help me to pass that on to my children, even though they are grown.”
My parents responded:
You’ve done a good job. We are proud of you. Just keep setting a good example. Love them. Don’t be afraid to tell them, “Jesus loves you.” He does love them, and he loves you, too.
Talking to my parents helped. Their message helped. Crying helped.
My father’s retirement must have been a big deal. Definitely a relief, but maybe a little scary. Like my retirement. If I’d gotten a retirement certificate, I would’ve hung it on the wall. Or at least the refrigerator.
My father is the person who told me when I was 12 years old, “Nothing is impossible.” His words made an impression. But now, I realize that his life made even more of an impression. Even after his 20 years of military service, my parents faced and overcame big challenges. They want me to clarify that they couldn’t have done it without Jesus.
I still have a little more of Dad’s desk to clean out. No telling what I’ll find there. He saved everything. There’s a cigar box full of shoe laces. And I will never have to buy paper clips again. Here are some things I’ve found in and around my dad’s desk. You never know when you might need some carbon paper.
Later I spent a couple of hours making a collage from one of Mom’s old angel calendars. It was an intensely fun diversion. I think the hands are interesting.
Tomorrow, I switch gears and get some yellow paint samples for the kitchen!
Anything is Possible! 