Hey, it’s good to be back home again. That line comes from a John Denver song. Speaking of John Denver, I just spent five days in the mountains. The Appalachians. Sort of got lost, but that’s another story. I need to get to the prompt for today’s Stream of Consciousness, which is “passive/aggressive.”
It’s a loaded prompt. Loaded with possibilities. The safest thing would be to go the clinical route. In my old job, I learned that passive/aggressive behavior is taking a dig or doing harm to someone indirectly, like putting something nasty in their food without them knowing it, or saying something mean and saying, “I was just joking. Can’t you take a joke?”
I am rarely passive/aggressive. But then often we don’t realize we are. Oh, I’ve had thoughts – fantasies about doing such and such… haven’t we all? But I usually catch myself and recognize that would be passive/aggressive.
I tend to be more passive than aggressive. Most people would say I am rarely aggressive. I’ve tried to move toward more assertive communication my whole life. Assertiveness is being honest with respect. Standing up for yourself without trying to hurt the other person, with I statements about your wants and needs. To a shy, mild-mannered person, being assertive can feel aggressive. Even saying, “I need some time alone,” or “I need you to stop yelling at me,” or “I will listen to you when you talk to me with respect,” can be a challenge. But it is possible and gets easier with practice.
Here’s another way to be assertive:
Say what you mean,
mean what you say.
but don’t say it mean.
Enough of the clinical. How do I work this prompt into what I really want to tell you?
I was not being passive when I submitted my story to Chicken Soup for the Soul for their book, The Miracle of Love, coming out in June. I was assertive! I believed I had a chance, even though I have submitted stories to them before that were not chosen. I figured, what have I got to lose?
And guess what! My story was selected! It made the final cut! It’s titled, “I Almost Gave Up on Romance.” Happy dance going on in my head.
Assertiveness can be standing up for yourself with yourself enough to take a chance on something good happening. And sometimes, it does. Just the act of submitting a story, or writing a story, or painting a painting, anything that feels good and right to your authentic self, is worth the effort, even if no one buys it. If it feeds your soul, do it anyway.
Today’s Stream of Consciousness Prompt is brought to us by Linda Hill at:
Here are the rules:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
8. Have fun!
April 7, 2018 at 3:52 am
April 7, 2018 at 10:59 am
April 7, 2018 at 8:08 am
Congrats on having your story selected, Joanna. How exciting!
Being somewhere in between passive and aggressive, being firmly assertive and kind, is not easy. I love your “say what you mean” advice. It’s a good thought to have…always.
April 7, 2018 at 11:00 am
Thanks, Mary! Yes, it can be downright hard to be kindly assertive and firm.
April 7, 2018 at 9:09 am
Congratulations for sure.
April 7, 2018 at 11:00 am
April 7, 2018 at 9:18 am
Congratulations, Joanna – that’s great news. You can be assertive without being aggressive, but it’s a loosely drawn line.
April 7, 2018 at 11:00 am
Thanks, Dan. It sure is on both counts.
April 7, 2018 at 2:12 pm
This seems like quite an accomplishment JoAnna – congratulations!
April 7, 2018 at 10:01 pm
Thank you, very much, Ka.
April 7, 2018 at 6:23 pm
Congratulations on getting your story published! 🙂
April 7, 2018 at 10:28 pm
Thanks, Deborah! 🙂
April 8, 2018 at 10:45 pm
I love your ‘without saying it mean’ – I think years of teaching helped cultivate my assertion. I am best when passive and horrible when aggressive.
April 9, 2018 at 10:48 pm
People say I’m calm. But inside, that is not always the case. I try to be calm-assertive, like Cesar, the dog whisperer says, But every now and then, when I’m hungry and tired and someone keeps bugging me, I’ve been known to react aggressively.
April 10, 2018 at 7:59 pm
Hanger is a real thing 😉
April 10, 2018 at 11:28 pm
Yep. It can be dangerous.
April 10, 2018 at 12:18 am
Great advice here, Jo and huge congrats 👏💞
April 10, 2018 at 10:25 am
Thank you so much, Hayley! I appreciate your support. ❤
April 10, 2018 at 4:08 pm
Congratulations. So happy for you!
April 10, 2018 at 11:22 pm
April 11, 2018 at 12:55 am
April 15, 2018 at 6:55 pm
Oh my gosh!!!! So happy for you JoAnna!!! This is such exciting news…you must be over the moon 🙂 Congrats, dear friend…congratulations ❤ ❤
April 15, 2018 at 10:32 pm
Thank you, Lorrie. It IS exciting! 🙂 It has taught me to be persistent in sending stuff out there.
April 20, 2018 at 5:33 pm
Reblogged this on Loving Me, Too and commented:
Be assertive. Feed your soul.
April 21, 2018 at 5:53 am
Wow JoAnna that is wonderful news that your Story got selected and I have four in the Series of Chicken Soup Books, So many wonderful stories in them.. So congratulations my friend.
A great topic for your post today,
Sending HUGE hugs and it pays off never to give up and keep being Assertive.. ❤ HUGS
April 21, 2018 at 9:18 am
Thanks, Sue. Chicken Soup books are easy to read and always have positive stories. Sometimes we need something light. 🙂 Hugging you back! 🙂 ❤
April 21, 2018 at 10:52 am
We most certainly do.. Love and LIGHT to you xx
April 21, 2018 at 12:28 pm
Love and Light. ❤