Do We Choose Our Challenges?

“I believe that life is basically a process of growth- that we go through many lives, choosing those situations and problems that we will learn through.”                              Jim Henson

I found this quote from Jim Henson in It’s Not Easy Being Green.  I had no idea until I picked up this little treasure for my grand kids just how wise the Muppet Man was. The book turns out to be full of inspiration for adults. The quote above struck me right between the eyes and down into my heart. I have often felt like I’ve gone through many lives since I as born. My life now seems so different from my childhood and so different from other times in my adulthood – the young adult exploratory phase, the early parenting years, the divorce and rebound wreckage, the years of finding myself again and now….well, now there is this whole new second chance at love with exciting possibilities to return to the things I loved in my youth.

Did I have to go through all those learning experiences to get here? Probably… Yes. All those choices and experiences brought me to this point and help me appreciate the gifts of the present.

Do we really choose (consciously or otherwise) the situations and problems we will learn from?

Certainly there are situations we learn from that we don’t choose. When some one dies, we learn how to cope and work through grief, but we don’t choose to be separated from a loved one by death. We can however, in the long run, choose how we cope. Are there problems that we choose in order to learn what we need to learn? That might explain why I chose after my divorce to enter into a relationship with someone dangerously different from my previous partner. I stayed in that first unhealthy rebound for about a year. In hindsight, I’ve thought it was a year too long. Did I stay long enough to learn what I needed to learn? To learn what I don’t want? That I deserved better?

Do we stay in jobs until we learn what we need to be able to move on? After a few years as a substance abuse counselor, I never thought I’d stay in the addiction field for 30 years. But something kept me at this job. Was it security? Were there things I needed to learn? It certainly taught me to be assertive. And this job played a big part in bringing me back to a loving Power greater than myself that could restore me to sanity.

This job I’ve had for 30 years brought me to God. The divorce and dangerous rebound brought me ever closer the one who would never leave me. God and the universe (God through the universe) can choose to put people or situations in our path to help us. Or test us. (Oh, great, another test!) Or to open our eyes to a new path. Or maybe God assigns us to a post because the work needs to be done, and we are the best person for the job. Maybe it’s all of the above.

I believe, like Wayne Dyer said, that God and the universe conspire with us to help us learn what we need to learn. It might take one year or it might take 30 years. But we always have a choice to jump in and test the waters or walk away because maybe we’re not ready to learn that one yet.

Or maybe walking away is what we needed to learn.

Forged in the Fire: deriving meaning from suffering.

A Powerfully inspiring message. My experience teaches me that these things are true, that all the challenges I face are here to teach me, to move me closer to my heart’s desire and God’s plan. I can always use reminders, though, and this is a good one!

Wonder and Impact

I was 32 when I had my first child, a daughter who is now 17.  Shortly after her birth, we learned that she had Down syndrome and a little later, that she had a heart defect.  To say that the rug was pulled out from under us is an understatement.  This may sound crazy to you, but I never really considered that my baby might have a life-altering condition.

At three months of age, she had surgery to repair her heart defect and I spent the first few years of her life doing all that I could to help her development, including countless therapies and consultations with all kinds of professionals.  To the outside observer, I was strong and dedicated. But, if truth be told, I was at sea with only a life preserver. This was a very difficult time for me; a time characterized by inner turmoil and a feeling that…

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Teacher of Miracles, Unity, and Forgiveness

Dr. Wayne Dyer died this past weekend at the relatively young age of 75.  I don’t know why I imagined he’d live longer. Maybe I wanted to see his age catch up with his wisdom. Maybe he has other work to do.

He had a profound impact on my life and the lives of many. I remember taking notes as I watched  a PBS special he did on the Power of Intention and taking notes. It was several years ago, during a time of transformation in my life.  Wayne Dyer’s teachings, added to the abundant love of the Good Shepherd, helped me become ready and willing for miracles God planned for me to receive when the time was right. I appreciated the way Wayne Dyer spoke of God with reverence, yet with an openness that included each and every one of us. Some consider Dr. Dyer to be a “new age” teacher. I guess if you need to put labels on people, that is one possible label. It is possible for me, as a Christian, to benefit from the teachings of positive people like Wayne Dyer, even people who do not identify as exclusively Christian. He was a unifying force for those willing to see the potential goodness of humanity.

After I read about his death, I went to his website. I wanted to read about the power of intention, about realizing my dreams, becoming who I was meant to be, not letting anything stand in my way! Stuff like that. But what jumped out at me on the website was the featured article  on forgiveness.

I’ve done a fair amount of work on forgiveness, but the opportunity to work on it some more has been coming back up in my life lately like gangbusters.  So, finding forgiveness as the topic of the featured article staring me in the face made me smile.

Here’s the article, which I probably need to read a couple of times.

http://www.drwaynedyer.com/blog/how-to-forgive-someone-in-15-steps/

Thank you, Wayne Dyer, for your message of hope. Good journey on your new adventures!