One-Liner Wednesday: Gratitude Makes Sense of Our Past

 

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

― Melody Beattie

…

I thought I knew all the stages of grief.

But there’s always more to learn.

 I never understood the role of  bargaining in my divorce.

I don’t remember begging, though I did ask “Why?”

wandering around in shock.

The counselor said the marriage could be saved

unless there were other lovers –

then it wouldn’t work.

The other woman had been my friend

before the bottom fell out.

There was no checking in.

No sisterhood.

.

I used to think  guilt was a stage of grief,

guilt the companion of bargaining,

guilt who knows where I live.

Maybe if I’d been more attentive,

 more docile, more playful…

I thought I was doing a good job

for the two decades tossed away.

Why? Why? Why? ad infinitum….,

(until now.)

.

Anger got lost in depression,

the depression I tried to swallow,

but it kept coming back up.

Or I’d stuff it in a drawer and forget about it

until I went looking for that purple scarf

and it grabbed me around the throat

and threw me on the bed.

 I couldn’t get up

but I could roll over and slide down

to put my knees on the floor.

.

All the while I wrestled with depression,

anger lurked nearby growing into a boulder of resentment

blocking my path to happiness.

.

But where was this acceptance I kept hearing about?

I had no idea.

.

It wasn’t until forgiveness

finally got a foot in the door

and started chipping away at resentment,

that acceptance had a chance to work.

It was forgiveness that opened a path for love.

Love of self. Love of family. Love of life.

And finally when the time was right,

Love from another.

.

Now, after all these years, I’ve awakened

to another stage:

Gratitude.

Eighteen years ago I would have never believed it possible

to be grateful for my divorce.

But if the first marriage had not died,

if the other woman had not been there,

I would not have been set free.

Free to fall.

Free to flounder.

Free to fly.

Free to find myself again.

Free to be found.

…

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

One-Liner Wednesday is brought to you by Linda G. Hill

at

https://lindaghill.com/2018/11/21/one-liner-wednesday-its-time/

 

Here are the rules that we sometimes follow:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our lovely badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

Thanks to God, Guardian Angels, and A Piece of Metal

Today’s good news is personal.

But first the bad news:  My new car got banged into with me in it. It might even be  totaled.

The Good news is nobody got seriously hurt.

Monday morning, my car was all packed, the gas tank was full, the oil had been changed and the tires rotated. Excited to be going to see my son and his family,  I kissed my husband and headed out to pick up my friend for our trip to the mountains.

At an intersection, the light turned green and I drove forward. I looked to my left just in time to see, as if in slow motion, a truck heading into my car, and felt the BANG into the driver’s side of my Hyundai Tuscon. My head hit the inside of the door, and I started cussing (something I rarely do out loud.)  I sat there, stunned, until the officer came over, and I managed to get the window down. He asked if I was okay, and I said, “I think so.”  He told me to go ahead and get out of the car. Shaking, I got my purse, climbed over the console, and got out the passenger side.

My retired EMT husband came quickly and did a personal assessment. He helped me get all my stuff out of my poor Tuscon before it got towed away. We put all my stuff in my friend’s car and headed for the mountains a couple hours later than planned.

So, big THANK YOU to God and my guardian angels for keeping me safe. And thanks to my Hyundai Tuscon, for bearing the brunt of the hit. I don’t know if the car will make it or not. I’ll grieve a little if it doesn’t. My husband says, “It’s just a piece of metal,” and the important thing is that I’m okay.  And he’s right, but  I was just getting to know that piece of metal, my first ever new car I never thought I’d have. Does anyone have feelings for their car?

But the important thing is that nobody got seriously hurt. I’m okay except for a bruise on my head, and I think I’m more tired than a I realize as I type this Monday night.

I probably won’t post again until Saturday, but I’ll try to check in when I can. Today, I get to spend some time with my son and granddaughter in the mountains.

Life is precious, every day.

 

 

Thank You!

First, I want to say thank you to my followers, my supporters, my encouragers. This has been possibly the best year of my life. It’s certainly been a year of transition, and I’m grateful to have the support of so many people on WordPress and beyond. I’m grateful to be approaching 1000 WordPress followers! Officially: 927 WP followers and just over 1000 total blog followers.

When I first started blogging, I couldn’t imagine having 1000 followers, but one day at at time, one post at a a time adds up. It has been so fulfilling to grow here and get to know inspiring people – ordinary folks – I mean that in a good way – working through life’s challenges with grace and learning from each other. I appreciate each one of you, even if I don’t get over to visit as often as I’d like. You are part of my blogging support network, and I am grateful and honored to be part of this community.

2016 has been a year to remember. I took my first steps into retiring from my career as a counselor, and as the year ends, I’m ending the job of 30 years to pursue my creative dreams. And it is because of my first love who is also my last love and, as you probably know, I”m writing a book about that. Almost finished with the writing/revising part and getting ready to send it off to the line editor – one of the last steps in writing this particular book which I started about four years ago. Hard to believe I’ve been working on it so long, but I’ve heard of people taking longer, which is more than okay. It has become a labor of love.

I wish you all abundant blessings in 2017. May the stars shine upon you and may you dance with joy, rest in serenity, and sing your song. I look forward to a lasting, laughing, loving life of creating with you.

And now, my Stream of Consciousness brings us to this song which I dedicate to all those who are lonely. You never know what wonderful surprises are waiting around the corner.  In the mean time, love yourself well and know that you are deeply and profoundly loved by your creator, forever.

 

Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt was: “first/last,” with instructions to use one or both words, or find words that mean the same. Bonus points if you start your post with “first/beginning/start” etc. and end with “last/end” etc. Enjoy!

The Saturday Stream of Consciousness is brought to you by Linda Hill at:

https://lindaghill.com/2016/12/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-dec-3116

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!

 

Gratitude Makes Sense of our Past

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Melody Beattie

 Twenty years of Holy Matrimony

Tossed out like old shoes.

What happened to the promise?

To the dream?

To the love?

Change ran them off

Down divergent paths.

Years

of

Confusion

and

Loneliness

Finally passed as

 Acceptance

Seeped into the empty space

 Making room for new possibilities.

 I found my self again.

And loved me for my soul.

And  when the time was right,

Everything made sense.

Now I’m thankful that he made that space

and found a better fit,

Thankful for the time to heal

and learning to let go,

Thankful for the lessons learned

on long and winding roads,

Thankful for convergent paths

That brought my true love home.

© 2016 JoAnne Macco.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends and followers for whom I am very thankful! 

The Magic of Gratitude

This photo is brought to you from pixabay.com with Gratitude.

 

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
― Melody Beattie

This is one of my favorite quotes by one of my favorite writers.  It originally came to me from her book, The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations for Codependents, in the meditation for August 1st.

Why August instead of later November? Because we need the magic of gratitude every day.

She goes on to write:

“Gratitude makes things right. Gratitude turns negative energy into positive energy. There is no situation or circumstance so small or large that it is not susceptible to gratitude’s  power. We can start with who we are and what we have today, apply gratitude, then let it work it’s magic.”

Is it possible that something as simple as gratitude can be so powerful?

 I believe so.

After I stopped asking why I couldn’t couldn’t find the right partner,

After I started to thank God for blessings, including the mystery ones on the way,

My soul mate came back to me.

Blessings are on the way!

Give thanks!

I’m thankful for my soul mate.

I’m thankful for good health.

I’m thankful to have time to write and paint.

I’m thankful for the blessings on the way!

Inside Job

Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt was: “in-” Find a word that begins with the prefix “in” or use the word itself anywhere in your post.

Happiness is an inside job. All kinds of crazy things go on in my head. Is it possible that other people think crazy stuff too? Inside their heads? Inside my head lives a wonderland of torment and ecstasy and everything in between.  The torment often comes from comparing my insides to other people’s outsides. I know this in my head. I know now, that other people aren’t really so cool and confident as I used to believe they were. I’ve learned that inside other people’s heads can be a mess too.

Would it be fun or insane if we could know what’s going on in each other’s minds? Would we think better thoughts if we knew people could see inside? Who cares? We can’t do that. We might think we can, and sometimes that gets us in trouble.

All I can really do as far as all that goes, is clean up my own back yard. I cannot read your mind. I can ask you to tell me what’s in there. And I can listen carefully and watch my imagination to keep it from assuming too much.

Somebody said they had no business being in their own head alone, that it was a dangerous neighborhood to go into alone. I don’t feel that way. I like being in my own mind. Just not all the time. And I need to keep it clean. Don’t need to let those insidious negative thoughts get a foothold in my head.

Happiness is an inside job. That’s where I started. I can choose what thoughts I want to push out and which ones I want to delve into. I choose the ones that make me happy, more and more. I’m learning to indulge in good thoughts.

It’s possible to be happy, but not so much if you’re a Turkey. I’m not going to eat Turkey for that very reason. And I’m going to think about what I’m happy about. What I’m thankful for.

Inside my head is a better place than it used to be.

Happy Thanksgiving.

 

If you’d like to join the fun of Stream of Consciousness Saturday, go here:

http://lindaghill.com/2014/11/21/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-november-2214/

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. Have fun!