Anything is Possible!

With Faith, Hope and Perseverance


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Soulmates: Finding a Good Fit

puzzle pieces

Since I often use the word, soulmate, That Girl’s post: The Soulmate Phenomenon, grabbed my attention. It got me thinking about the word, “soulmate,” which can mean different things to different people. I never liked the expression, “my other half,” or “my better half.” I am not half a person. My soul was okay without a human partner,  especially having human and animal friends who loved me. Yet, at times, I did feel like something was missing. I considered that annoying void carefully.  If my soulmate was still out there, I didn’t want to get side tracked (again) by an impostor. I clarified what qualities my soulmate would have.

Here are some things I’ve learned about soulmates:

What is a soulmate? The word, soulmate sounds romantic, but for me, it goes beyond romance. It’s someone who is a good fit – not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. My soulmate is someone who nourishes my soul, my true self, the part of me that will live on into eternity. My soulmate was meant for me. He gets me.

Who Can it Be? Can we have more than one soulmate?  I believe so. I probably thought my first husband was my soulmate. At first we were a good fit. But in the twenty years we were married, we both changed and grew in different directions. I think I changed more than he did. He would probably agree, but I wouldn’t swear to it. My soul was pretty shaken when he left. After that, I had a much deeper appreciation for my friends. It’s possible that a close friend or relative  could be a soulmate.

When is he (or she) going to get here? A soulmate comes when we are ready. He or she may leave and come back again. The man I am now married to was my first love. We dated for less than a year, then he was gone – a sweet memory for 39 years – until the time was right. Though he says it would not have worked out when we were younger, we are clearly a good fit, now. He nourishes my soul. He feels like my soulmate. Maybe he’s my super soulmate.

Why Care? It’s different for everyone, but having a partner or close friend to share life with is a comfort, and in many cases, increases longevity, as long as that person is a good fit, someone who respects you and doesn’t add constant stress to your life. Being with someone who understands and nurtures us, improves the quality of life. Soulmates encourage healthy growth and well being in one another.

How to find one? In my April newsletter, I’ll be sharing about the five steps I took that helped my soulmate find me. Here’s the overview:

  • Clarify desires
  • Turn it over
  • Work on YOU
  • Focus on friendship
  • Imagine!

For details coming next week, sign up for my monthly newsletter at the sidebar on the right.

Or just click here:  http://eepurl.com/cLDxdD

What are your thoughts about soulmates?  Do you think we can have more than one?


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Answered Prayers

SOC badge with butterfly

“If you could send me a soulmate who’s a good fit before Dad and Jesse die, I’d really appreciate it.”

That was a prayer I said to God somewhere around 2010. It went something like that, anyway.

The second part of the prayer was, “If you want me to stay single, then take away this desire for a partner.

It was five years ago, on July 15, 2011, that I had my second first date with the love of my life, my high school sweetheart who found me after 39 years of no contact.

Jesse, my golden retriever, passed away a couple years ago, and the soulmate who is definitely a good fit, helped me get through that.

Jesse swimming

This is one of the things I imagine Jesse doing in heaven.

Dad is still alive and strong in spirit. His legs are giving him a lot of trouble, and at 85, his body is wearing out as bodies are known to do.

I’m so thankful to God for bringing my partner to me when the time was perfect. I was ready to accept staying single if that was what God wanted. I knew I could accomplish a lot of good things being single, once I finally learned to not fall for anyone who asked me out, once I learned to love and honor myself enough to know I did not need a man to complete me. But God knew my loneliness and did not take away the desire. God brought my husband to me when we were both ready.

JoAnne and David to edit

If I’d known then, what I know now, I would have worried less, but then I would not have grown as much faith – faith that still has some growing to do.

Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday was: “if/then.” We were to begin our post with the word “If,” and for bonus points, end with a phrase containing the word “then.”

If you want to read more Stream of Consciousness writing, then visit Linda’s blog:

https://lindaghill.com/2016/07/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-1616/

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!


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Thirty Nine Years Later

socs-badge

It had been 39 years since we’d seen each other.

When I heard his voice on the phone, he sounded very different from the 15 year old boyfriend I remembered. I didn’t remember him having an accent. I guess 39 years of living back home in New England can do that.

When I’d last seen him, it was 1972. He was tall and lean with sensitive hazel eyes like mine. I can imagine the scene. Him in his jeans with the battery acid holes and his leather jacket, or the olive military field jacket. His hair in his eyes just a little bit. Humming Jethro Tull. Working on a motorcycle.

                             David from 1972 yearbook      JoAnne from 1972 yearbook

When we met again in 2011, he looked different. Still tall, but filled out nicely. Silvery hair, slightly, handsomely weathered. My heart was beating like a set of bongos. I bet his was too. 🙂

The smell of my soul mate was intoxicating. My body remembered, without even consciously knowing that it remembered. It was my first love. Back again after all those years.

We had both seen tears and years of disappointment, overcoming life’s hills and mountains, journeying the long and winding road back. We had no idea this was part of the plan. This reunion. This grand surprise, ripening when the time was finally right for us to journey together on new adventures!

You never know what wonderful surprises are on the way. Anything is Possible!

joanne and david at the river

The prompt for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday Post was: scene/seen.  If you’d like to join in the fun, visit:

http://lindaghill.com/2015/01/30/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-january-3115/

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. Have fun!


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The Nose Knows (and other body parts too)

socs-badge

Our bodies can sense things. Like dogs sense things all the time, because they don’t have so much clutter in their brains crowding out their common sense. It made no sense at all for me to be with someone like the scoundrel I dated right after my divorce became final, something like 13 years ago. My body knew he was all wrong for me. My body sent me messages via mysterious female ailments that wouldn’t get better until sometime after I came to my senses.

I suppose I should be thankful, and I am, that my body has gotten better at sending me messages that something’s not right. When I sense the scratchy roughness of acid reflux, or the tightness in my gut, I realize I’ve been stressed lately and need to relax, to breathe fresh air. When my muscles are tense, my body sends me the message I might need to rest, though more than likely, I need to stretch.

When my soul mate and I met again in person, after 39 years, my senses were aroused in a way I had not felt in a very long time. We’d re-connected on-line and had been talking on the phone for about a month, but when I saw him for real, and touched his skin, when I picked up his scent again, my body knew something important and good was happening.

His scent fascinated me. As I leaned against him on my living room couch, my nose was drawn to drift above his collar to his neck.  As I inhaled deeply, the barely noticeable, natural aroma of his skin intoxicated me.  It was the scent of my first love, imprinted on my memory when I was 16 years old.

My body never forgot his scent, even after 39 years.

My body knew he was my soul mate, who’d come back again when the time was right.

It took a while for my mind to agree, but my body knew.

December 1st, is our anniversary. We will have been married for two whole years, and his scent still delights my senses.

 

Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt was: “sense/scents/cents,” with a bonus word this week – “sent.” If you’d like to join us, visit:

http://lindaghill.com/2014/11/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-november-2914/

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” or “Begin with the word ‘The’.”

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments, for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. Have fun!


6 Comments

The Magic of Gratitude

glass of water

This photo is brought to you from pixabay.com with Gratitude.

 

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
Melody Beattie

This is one of my favorite quotes by one of my favorite writers.  It originally came to me from her book, The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations for Codependents, in the meditation for August 1st.

Why August instead of later November? Because we need the magic of gratitude every day.

She goes on to write:

“Gratitude makes things right. Gratitude turns negative energy into positive energy. There is no situation or circumstance so small or large that it is not susceptible to gratitude’s  power. We can start with who we are and what we have today, apply gratitude, then let it work it’s magic.”

Is it possible that something as simple as gratitude can be so powerful?

 I believe so.

After I stopped asking why I couldn’t couldn’t find the right partner,

After I started to thank God for blessings, including the mystery ones on the way,

My soul mate came back to me.

Blessings are on the way!

Give thanks!

I’m thankful for my soul mate.

I’m thankful for good health.

I’m thankful to have time to write and paint.

I’m thankful for the blessings on the way!

Arboretum yellow flowers


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It’s Okay to Marry Your Soul Mate.

1972 b&w kiss

Warnings not to marry your soul mate are trying to grab our attention lately.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brooke-hampton/dont-marry-your-soul-mate_b_6004132.html?love–sex

I let it go at first, but then said, “Wait a minute. It’s okay to marry your soul mate.” There are plenty of people who marry their soul mates and end up with long lasting, romantic relationships. It’s quite possible to be happily married to your soul mate, especially with some groundwork:

1. Look before you Leap. Unless you’ve known each other for a really long time, take the time to investigate your potential mate. When David and I started dating again, (thirty-nine years later) I told him a friend of mine was doing a background check on him. It was a promise I’d made to myself. He said he wanted to help me keep that promise and immediately offered to give me his social security number and anything else I needed. It takes time to find out what someone’s really like. It’s okay to follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

2. Develop and practice good communication skills. We have two ears and one mouth suggesting we should listen twice as much as we talk. Listen with objectivity, ask open questions, be assertive (not aggressive), and look for win-win solutions whenever possible.

3. Don’t expect perfection. A friend’s mother told her to “find a set of faults you can live with,” so she never got married. I can understand that. It’s okay not to get married. But if you do want to marry someone, know your deal breakers. Discuss your deal breakers.  Do your best to make sure you each talk about the things you want to work on.

4. Respect and support each other as individuals. I’ve never liked that expression about your “better half.” I’m not a half of a person, and neither is my husband.  We like sharing our hopes and dreams with each other, whether they’re dreams we have in common or as individuals. David is not that interested in creative arts or singing, and I’m not that interested in aqua-ponics or airplanes, but we support and encourage each other’s goals.

If you know my “About Me” story,  you might be thinking: she’s practically a newlywed. So, how does she know?

I know because I’ve seen true soul mate love last for other couples.  I know because I learned a few things after being married 20 years the first time, not to mention 20 something years as a counselor. I know, because of how my soul mate came back to me when the time was perfect.

The idea is that we  can have lots of “soul mates” who teach us what we need to learn seems to water down the meaning of the term. Those other people were teachers and guides. To me the term soul mate means more than that. Maybe we can have more than one, but not a whole slew of them.

What do you think?


2 Comments

God Has a Plan!

bird alone at sunset

Lone Bird, by JoAnne Silvia

Psalm 13:

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

How long shall I have perplexity in my mind and grief in my heart, day after day? How long shall my enemy triumph over me?

Look upon me and answer me, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, lest I sleep in death.

Lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him.” and my foes rejoice that I have fallen.

But I put my trust in your mercy; my heart is joyful because of your saving help.

I will sing to the Lord, for he has dealt with me richly. I will praise the Name of the Lord Most High.”

This psalm takes me back to the grief…the pain of separation after being married for 20 years, followed by an unexpected divorce. I believed that my husband and I would grow old together, that when the kids were grown, we would travel across country in an RV like my parents did.

The grief was most intense on August 18th, the anniversary of my first marriage – the one I believed would last until death parted us. I could not understand how God could have let this happen. I felt deserted and confused.

Even I didn’t know what a wreck I was after the divorce, until I woke up from the nightmare of a sick rebound relationship.

In the years that followed, I wondered what was wrong with me, that I couldn’t find anyone right for me to date, let alone, marry. It seemed like I was alone for a long time, but in retrospect, it wasn’t that long, and I was never alone.

Good Shepherf Window

It was love at fist sight when I walked into my church and saw him over two decades ago.

God was with me the whole time. My guardian angel walked beside me, shaking her head in exasperation. And Jesus, the Good Shepherd, was always there, lighting the path of love, that led back to the fold.

Jeremiah 29:11 was my life preserver.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give your hope and a future.”

Maybe God wanted me to be single so I could accomplish more, because relationships do take time and effort, even the good ones.  And the unhealthy relationships, well, they can be insanely distracting, taking us way off course…

(Or maybe not off course, but learning what we need to change to be ready for the gift.)

What I know now is that I had to work on me, and be a better parent, and draw closer to God.  I had to love myself and do what was right for me as a single person.  I kept going to the church where I felt accepted and cherished. I kept working and learning, singing and enjoying creation.  I kept putting one foot in front of the other, loving the family and friends who walked beside me.

And God did have a plan!

Now, August 18th is just another summer day with the love of my life. God has dealt with me richly, with many blessings, including bringing my soul mate to me when the time was perfect.

In times of uncertainty, I must remember God’s mercy and let my heart be joyful!

cloud heart

Heart Cloud, by JoAnne Silvia