Today’s prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “a rainy day.” Write about the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the phrase “a rainy day.” Enjoy!
Karen Carpenter sang, “Rainy days and Mondays” always get me down.” Such a sad song as I remember, and what a beautiful voice she had. We sang together often via the radio and vinyl albums. I had to go listen to the song again suspecting there was something not so sad in it, and there was. “…. run and find the one who loves me. Nice to know somebody loves me.” and something about this feeling has come and gone before. That’s the nice thing about getting older – knowing our moods will change. The sadness will lift or ease up. Moments of joy will come, too.
Rainy days don’t really bother me as long as nothing is leaking. Mondays don’t bother me anymore since I’m RETIRED and still thankful for that. I don’t think I’ll ever take that for granted – being able to make my own schedule, stay up late, sleep in…. unless I want to have breakfast with the early bird who gets the worm and falls asleep early which is okay. What was that worm thing? Never mind. Stream of consciousness take me somewhere marvelous!
Rainy days. Rainy days. As long as it’s not cold, rainy days can be fun. There was that summer day in 1993 when I was nursing my baby girl, and my son and his friends were playing outside, singing silly songs in the rain. I took maternity leave for the whole summer – a little slice of heaven. Funny how I prided myself for so long on being a career woman of 30 something years, and now, I LOVE being home. Good thing.
What would I find if I type rain in my pictures?
Raindrops on CedarRain from the car windowSemper Fi Funeral on a Rainy DayRainbowRainbow on the WallRaindrops on Windshield
For more on Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot it January, visit our host, Linda Hill HERE.
Today’s SoCS prompt is: “contains ‘igh.’” Find a word that contains the letters “igh” in that order and use it in your post. Enjoy!
The first thing that came to mind was, sigh. It’s a word that sometimes had a negative connotation, as in an expression of sadness, but it can be much more… healing even, as in a sigh of relief.
There was a sigh of relief when the house was quiet after my beloved grandchild was taken home by her parents. We had loads of fun going to the beach and the aquarium, watching the movie, Bumblebee, who is a VW Beatle who transforms into and autobot with a heart. Still, I am thankful that women have been designed, evolved, or whatever to not be able to have babies after a certain age. I can do a lot in bursts of energy, but my stamina is nothing like it used to be.
What else gives us a sigh of relief? I was writing in the family history about my dad retiring from 20 years in the corps. I bet there was a big sigh with that. And my own retirement after 30 years in the addiction/mental health field. How do I spell relief? RETIREMENT.
I will be relieved when the fire works are over. But how can you really be sure? Fireworks can be beautiful, and I love sparklers, but I worry about all the dogs who shiver in the corner or “escape” in terror and become lost. Then there are the veterans and others with PTSD. I’m sure some of them don’t mind fireworks, but I wonder how many? And people with autism being overstimulated. There is such a thing as silent/quiet fireworks. They’ve been used in other countries. If you an put a man on the moon, you can make quiet fireworks.
In yoga, we are sometimes encouraged to sigh with vocals, to take a deep breath and say, Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh on the exhale. The body hears that release and the relief is enhanced. That’s the theory anyway. I’m trying it now. Seems nice.
Sometimes a sigh is just a sigh, like a kiss is just a kiss. The fundamental things apply as time goes by.
But sometimes, a sigh is a good thing. I sigh when I get a massage. It helps me be mindful and really enjoy the release instead of thinking about my grocery list or some irrelevant imagining.
In most cases, a sigh is better than a scream. What might be even better is starting with a sigh and letting it turn into a laugh, then back into a sigh. Try it!
What brings you a sigh of relief?
There are all kinds of YouTube videos about yoga and sighing. Here’s a really short one by Laura Gentry who has a whole bunch of short videos on laughter yoga for commuters. They’re kinda silly and weird, but they’d keep me from falling asleep for sure. (Sigh.)
~~~
For more streams of consciousness,
plus the ups, downs, ins, and outs of the SoCS rules, please visit out host, Linda Hill at:
Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt was: to use the word, “growth” any way we liked, and to have fun!
Personal growth was a big deal once upon a time. I’m still growing, but I want to enjoy life, too. If you’re enjoying yourself are you wasting time? I don’t think so.
My energy level fluctuates a lot. The only thing even close to predictable is that I tend to have more energy at night. David is a morning person. He gets sleepy at about 10 pm. That was a good thing when we had the five pack of dogs. I could let them out at night and he could let them out and feed them in the morning.
When I was a mom, I had to get up early. Same with work. But now, I’m RETIRED. I can do what I want, mostly. Naps are a wonderful treat. I’ve earned them. Paid my dues. Left to my own devices, I’d probably keep vampire hours. But I do my best to get up and have breakfast with David.
Lately, there are times in the afternoon that I can barely keep my eyes open. Maybe 7 hours of sleep is not enough. Fatigue seems to come from nowhere. My bloodwork is “normal.” I guess I could just go with the flow and be grateful. I am SO VERY GRATEFUL I don’t have to go to a job at a scheduled time. However, I do need a schedule to get me to write and do art, so I don’t watch too much TV. Usually the TV stays off until after noon. I have a yoga class at the senior center plus silver sneakers exercise classes at the gym about twice a week. There are times when I get really into yard work and overdo it.
I like doing yard work – clearing the pathways through my urban forest where things grow lush and thick in the summer. Actually, they’re pretty thick right now. Not a lot of flowers, though. The amaryllis that gets the most sun is done blooming. The others haven’t bloomed yet. The Hydrangea has more blooms coming than usual on the way and the lantana is just starting. I guess that’s what happens when you let the trees do their thing in the urban forest and make shade. The good thing about tree shade is that it keeps the house cooler.
I guess I’m missing the Thursday Tree Love post. Unless I got the day wrong. It’s normally on the the second and fourth Thursday, but I didn’t see it. I hope our host Parul is okay. She lives in India. Feel free to join me in sending good thoughts and prayers to Parul Thakur and India.
Hydrangea Blooming
My urban forest is only on about one quarter acre.
From my kitchen window
Some of the wildlife visitors to my urban forest include hawks, geckos, squirrels, and an abundance of birds. Yesterday I saw a rabbit which surprised me because I don’t know how it got through the fence. I think the neighbor’s dog motivated it to find a way. Anyway, it was too fast for me to get more than a glimpse. Here are some old photos of backyard wildlife:
This hawk caught a morsel.
Watching Me Watching You
Moving on
Fortunately nobody got hurt.
Just chillin’
Challenges help us grow, but we need rest and relaxation, too.
~~~
Stream of Consciousness Saturday is brought to us by Linda Hill. For more streams and rules, visit Linda’s blog:
I’m very close to finishing up with my dad’s room. Today, I finished the closet, except for some shirts. I already donated about 30 pairs of pants, or as my dad would say, trousers. After wrapping several years of receipts and tax records in paper bags and duct tape and lugging them to the trash, I finally went to reach up to the top closet shelf. There were more tax records to wrap, a picture of some general or colonel he must have served under, and finally a large padded envelope. What could it be? Something important, I imagined.
Inside the envelope was a thin red book with the Marine Corps emblem. Opening the book, I discovered it was a folder with my dad’s certificate of retirement after 20 years in the Corps and a photos of him with 17 other retirees in khaki uniforms. My dad was clearly the handsomest. But they made a mistake on the date! The certificate says he retired in 1979. But he retired in June of 1969 right after I finished 6th grade. Oh, well.
I carried the red folder in the chair I keep in my dad’s room, my grief chair, where I go to feeling my feelings, and cried. I’m not sure if it was the significance of the retirement certificate or that I hadn’t cried in a while and have been working intensely on this room for a few days. Then Doodle came in, tail wagging and a concerned look in her big brown eyes. She can be a sweet dog sometimes.
I took a breath and decided to talk to my parents:
“I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate you more when you were alive. All the challenges and struggles you went through. Your strength. Your courage. Your faith. Thank you for passing that on to me. If you can, guide me, help me to pass that on to my children, even though they are grown.”
My parents responded:
You’ve done a good job. We are proud of you. Just keep setting a good example. Love them. Don’t be afraid to tell them, “Jesus loves you.” He does love them, and he loves you, too.
Talking to my parents helped. Their message helped. Crying helped.
My father’s retirement must have been a big deal. Definitely a relief, but maybe a little scary. Like my retirement. If I’d gotten a retirement certificate, I would’ve hung it on the wall. Or at least the refrigerator.
My father is the person who told me when I was 12 years old, “Nothing is impossible.” His words made an impression. But now, I realize that his life made even more of an impression. Even after his 20 years of military service, my parents faced and overcame big challenges. They want me to clarify that they couldn’t have done it without Jesus.
I still have a little more of Dad’s desk to clean out. No telling what I’ll find there. He saved everything. There’s a cigar box full of shoe laces. And I will never have to buy paper clips again. Here are some things I’ve found in and around my dad’s desk. You never know when you might need some carbon paper.
Later I spent a couple of hours making a collage from one of Mom’s old angel calendars. It was an intensely fun diversion. I think the hands are interesting.
Tomorrow, I switch gears and get some yellow paint samples for the kitchen!
Monday, Monday. Maybe I’ll find the old song that starts like that later. I’m so thankful I don’t have to go to a job on Monday. Monday is my husband’s day off from the mission thrift store. Most thrift stores are closed on Monday because they are open Saturdays. So I try to save Mondays for him and an occasional honey-do prompt. When he retires, the honey-dos will be on a list, clearly posted for his our convenience. I don’t really need a list for this cause it’s always in my head. For some reason, I think women tend to have easy access to that list in our heads. It’s always there.
It’s baffling how busy I am since I “retired” from my job. “Mon” makes me think of moan. And I do want to stop moaning about that and be grateful. I just have to prioritize the things that give me soul energy, even if they drain me physically. Like Saturday (today for you, but I”m writing this Friday because I have an abundance of things to do on Saturday). Okay, today I want to go help clean up the creek down the road. If I get there early enough, I can get a kayak that the organization brings. But if I don’t get there in time for a kayak, I’ll be happy to walk along the banks to pick up trash.
In this neighborhood creek, I’ve seen beaver, egrets, lots of turtles, and an alligator. Volunteering for the environment feeds my soul.
Then in the afternoon, I’m going to a “Stop the Violence” peace rally representing “Grandmother’s for Peace.”
Our head grandmother sent out a text saying they needed face painters at the rally. I said I could do an hour. I’ve never actually done face painting in any official capacity. Maybe I should practice, but don’t know if I have time. I did look up Black Panther and wish I’d seen the move. Interesting face designs with simple dots.
I know Shuri doesn’t look very peaceful here, but in the movie clips I’ve watched, she is very smart and funny and seems like a nice young lady. Maybe I can add a peace sign.
I can paint hearts, flowers, and probably some butterflies. I know how to paint stuff. And it’s only for an hour, so it’s okay. Then I’ll be off to my Saturday support group.
I hope to rest Sunday afternoon for my ritual after church nap. Maybe I’ll go to the beach on Monday with my sweetheart.
I will not get back here much until Saturday night, so thanks for your patience! I hope your Saturday is exactly what you’d like it to be.
Here’s that Monday, Monday song.
The Saturday Stream of Consciousness is hosted by Linda G. Hill at:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
Tuesday was my last full day at the job I worked for 30 years. In January, I’ll go back for a few hours to wrap up some paperwork and get the rest of my stuff, and there will be a “retirement” party. But these things will be on my terms and at my convenience.
My husband told me he was proud of me for retiring on my terms. But it was because of him that I was able to do it that way, cutting my hours back gradually, building my courage for the leap of faith, trusting that I would be taken care of. My husband, not wanting to contribute to the commercialization of Christmas, doesn’t like to buy presents from a store, but he loves to make things from wood like candle holders and Christmas ornaments like the balloon above. I tend to agree with him. He’s giving me the best gift of all the Christmas – the gift of retirement.
It was hard to say goodbye to my clients. But it was the right decision for me. Now, I get giggly inside, like a kid at Christmas, as I realize I don’t have to go back to the bureaucracy, to the demands to do more in less time – or bringing work home, or to the witnessing of the wreckage of addiction.
I am forever grateful to have witnessed the triumphs over addiction and for the privilege to be able to help a little. I’m thankful for all that I’ve learned. But I believe I’ve paid my dues. Now, it’s my turn to follow my heart back to its creative home. I’ll probably do a stress management group somewhere, maybe a group with a creative twist! But it will be on my terms.
I will remember all those late nights I drove home exhausted, my hands aching from the keyboard, wondering if I would ever get caught up on the paperwork, wondering if I could make it another 10 years until social security and medicare kicked in, wondering if those benefits would even be there for me in 10 years.
I will remember praying to God for deliverance, telling myself, God has a plan.
Little did I know how marvelous that plan would be. God was watching me, loving me, encouraging me, and doing the same for my soulmate 700 miles away. God waited for the perfect time, when my soulmate and I were ready to journey together. (And in case you didn’t know, I’m writing a book about that.)
Ten years ago, I asked God to take away the desire for a partner, or to send someone who is a good fit.
Today, I thank God for the gift of my husband who is a good fit. And I thank my husband for the gift of freedom to be me. On my terms. And on God’s terms.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” Lao Tzu
For the past six months, I’ve been working just one day a week at the old job, the counseling job I’ve done for thirty years. Some would say I’m moving gradually into retirement. I believe I’m moving into my second career, a career my heart longs for.
Moving to one day a week and letting go of my insurance and vacation benefits was a big leap of faith. But on Tuesday, I made an even bigger leap. I gave notice that I’ll be terminating employment in January.
As far as the hours go, it won’t be such a big change, but it’s cutting the cord to the job that paid my bills for most of my adult life. The job that taught me so much about giving and boundaries and life, the job that provided security, the job for which I am thankful.
As I’ve moved into a more creative life, working on my book and painting angels, I’ve kept one foot in the old job while stretching into my new life. But you have to let go of the shore if you want to sail the ocean.
It’s hard to say goodbye, especially to my clients. But it’s time to move fully into the next phase of my life and to trust that I’ll be taken care of. Words cannot express how thankful I am for the opportunity to come home to my creative soul.
In a few days, I’ll be 61 years old. Yep. I’d say, it’s about time.
Home is where I love to be these days. For thirty years or more, it was Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, it’s off to work I go. Not digging in the mines like the seven dwarfs, but digging through layers of paperwork and computer records more than one would imagine when the job is being a counselor. Now, I do that job just one day a week.
Home is not ho hum to me like it might have been when I was in my teens and twenties – when I met the man who would some day make it possible for me to stay home more.
Home is comfortable, peaceful, an introvert’s heaven. Now, I have the time to make it even more comfortable. My cozy little cottage, without the seven dwarfs, is safe. I’m not saying dwarfs would not be safe. I have nothing against dwarfs. Clowns, now that’s another story….let’s not go there.
My husband offered me the opportunity to quit my job last year as he approached the age when he could dip into his retirement savings. I kept asking him, are you sure it’s okay for me to do that? I even talked with his accountant. I hadn’t been supported financially by a man since….since I lived with my parents which seems like a whole lot of time ago. There I used the prompt in the middle of a word. And it wasn’t that hard, not planning it exactly.
I don’t hate my job that paid the bills for 30 plus years, I love parts of it, that’s why I’m still doing it one day a week. I like helping people and the decrease in paperwork. But there was a time when I prayed for deliverance, when I was working late at night, trying to catch up on the paperwork.
Deliverance came in a way I never would have imagined. When the time was right, my soulmate found me again. It took a long time, but the timing was perfect – when he was close to retiring from his career job, and when we were ready. Which reminds me to never give up hope. God and the whole universe are working for us, if we just put our hearts desires out there on a starry night or two, get ready, and believe that anything is possible.
Linda’s prompt for today’s Stream of Consciousness post was, “ho,” with instructions to find a word with those two letter in that order and use it in your post.
Here are the rules:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
On Monday, I attended a celebration of life for E. L. Nunn – a man who served his country and his community for most of his life.
E. L. and his lovely wife, Margaret, started attending my church way earlier than the 30 or so years I’ve been there. During his retirement, E. L. ran the soup kitchen which operated out of our church for many years, until the program grew into Good Shepherd Ministries and moved to a bigger location to include an overnight homeless shelter.
When my son got suspended from middle school for fighting in the late 90’s, I asked E. L. if he could come work at the soup kitchen. I didn’t want him watching TV at home all day. E. L. was fine with the idea, so I dropped my son off on my way to work. My son spent the next few days making sandwiches, serving lunch and socializing with older, retired volunteers. He said he liked working at the soup kitchen and thought the old people were cool. I think he would have preferred to continue there, but he had to go back to school after a few days. If my son hadn’t gotten suspended, he might not have had the positive experience of working at the soup kitchen with E. L.
At Monday’s life celebration, one of E. L.’s friends told a story about the early days at the soup kitchen. There was a story about one of the guests causing a disturbance: E. L., who was a tall man, came up behind the argumentative guest, wrapped his arms around him in a bear hug, picked him up, and carried him outside. And that was that.
Another story was about E. L.’s wife, Margaret who still graces our presence. In the early days, they weren’t sure how many people they’d be serving at the soup kitchen and didn’t want to run out of food, so they started off with the rule that each person could have one sandwich and one bowl of soup until everyone had been served, then if there was enough, people could come back for seconds. Margaret was serving sandwiches when a tall Native American man asked for another sandwich. She said, “I’m sorry, but we can only give one sandwich per person until everyone has been served.”
“I want the extra sandwich for my dog,” he explained.
Margaret remembered seeing this man on the street with a shaggy dog. Then she remembered the hymn: “All things Bright and Beautiful.”
She smiled and gave the man an extra sandwich.
I love Margaret and E. L. Good People. Good role models.
The photo, “Ladles,” is by Borja Fernandez via FreeRange Stock photos.
Not the kind of ball Cinderella went to, or the Marine Corps Ball my parents went to when I was a kid. Not a volleyball that I really enjoyed in college, but it might hurt my hands now, unless they have Nerf volleyball for seniors.
Wait a minute. I’m not really a senior. Am I? I don’t feel like a senior. Okay, I am 60, and I am tired more than I used to be… Oh, let’s not go there.
Let’s go back to the ball! For me, having a ball is going to be writing, painting (both art and walls of my little urban cottage) puttering around the yard as I sculpt mother nature just a tad, and naps! I love naps. That would have sounded boring to me 30 or 40 years ago, before I had kids, but ever since I had kids, I love naps – even though the kids are grown – maybe because I don’t get a lot of naps.
I also want to do some swimming. I miss swimming so much this time of year, before the water is warm enough, which now is in June. When I was 18, I went into the ocean in March. Yikes! But I still love to swim. Maybe I’ll join a club where I can swim year round.
So the ball of retirement is coming one step at a time. It will be process, but the ball is rolling! I’m taking vacation time, and in about two months, I’ll be cutting down to working one day a week at the agency where I do counseling. I want to keep doing my stress management group, cause I always need reminders about that. But some day, I’ll be a full time artist and writer and putterer – puttering around my back yard.
I don’t have a crystal ball, but I do love snow globes, and I have a plan- a plan to have a ball as I slide down the water slide, a slow but not that slow water slide – faster than a lazy river anyway – into the lovely pool of retirement, which for me, will be full of creativity and service work without all the paperwork, and puttering, and naps – naps on the beach!
I think I need some practice!
Photo by JoAnne Silvia
I bet you can guess today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt. If you’d like to have a ball, visit Linda at :
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
Anything is Possible! 