SoCS: It’s Okay to Start Over

Feeling overwhelmed is something I try to avoid. When you’ve lived 67 years, you start to learn what overwhelms you, like too many social events in one week, too many appointments, a crowded room where a lot of people are talking and not being able to hear the person next to you.

Thankfully, I’m not overwhelmed as often as I used to be before I retired. I just have to learn to not take on too much, as in volunteer work, community activism, and damn social events since I have embraced my inner introvert. It’s not that I’m anti-social, but I don’t do well at events that are purely social. Just the thought makes me cringe. So ENOUGH OF THAT!

I’m starting this post over.

But first, here’s my plan:

It might not always happen, but peace is a priority in my life. Do you hear that, mind? Step away from the drama and go to the light.

One of the things I learned in recovery meetings for codependency, overeating, or other side doors to recovery, is this:

“You can start your day over at any time.”

You can start your day over at 11pm if you want to. The past can’t change and maybe I messed up earlier in the day, but nothing can ruin my entire day, because there can be good moments mixed in among the bad ones. But those are judgements. As many of us have learned, something “bad” can eventually turn into something “good.”

In starting the day over, a deep breath can help. In my yoga class, we do this thing where we open our arms wide, raise our hands overhead so that our fingers touch in an overhead arch, then bring our hands straight down in front of our body as we makes a shhhhhhhsh sound. Sometimes I wiggle my fingers like rain is washing away the tension. We so it three times. It’s pretty simple, and I should/will use it more often at home…. or at social events when I retreat to the bathroom.

Starting over. What a good thing to be able to do.

After looking up songs about starting over, this cover was my favorite:

Are we ever too old to start over?

I don’t think so. What I really mean is, hell no!

Happy Mother’s Day to ALL Mothers,

including dog mothers, cat mothers, horse mothers…..

Peace and blessings to all.

~~~

For details on SoCS,

head on over to Linda’s blog

by clicking HERE.

SoCS: Remembering “Little Turtle,” Flowers, and John Denver

Don’t make a scene. Unless you’re painting. That would be my usual goal. Lately, I’ve become less and less tolerant of drama, especially when it’s violent.

But on this Earth Day, I can’t forget about the violence in Atlanta in January. I don’t want to forget about Manuel Esteban Paez Terán, also known as Tortuguita, which means, Little Turtle. Tortuguita was an environmental activist camped out in a forested area near Atlanta on the site proposed for what they called “Cop City.” His family denies allegations that he shot and wounded a police officer. The recently released coroner’s report states the body of 26-year-old Manuel had 57 gunshot wounds which resulted in his death after police opened fire.

57 gunshot wounds.

I wonder if I would have protested clearing the forested land for a huge police training center if I lived in Atlanta or if it was proposed for my city. I can’t imagine carrying a gun, but then, I would not have camped out there. Maybe when I was 21, I might have camped out to protest. But not with a gun. A baseball bat is the deadliest weapon I’ve ever kept nearby – behind my door. Thankfully, I’ve never used a weapon. My environmental activism is generally as peaceful as I can make it: not eating meat, buying eco laundry sheets that come in recycled brown paper envelope, reusable grocery bags, letting the trees grow in my backyard urban forest… pretty safe stuff.

I’m just wondering….. and I don’t want to forget Manuel Esteban Paez Terán, Little Turtle.

Yeah, I’m a little down at the moment of writing this. But I’ll be okay. Getting outside helps. I’m still recovering from a virus (negative for covid and flu) and have a lingering cough and congestion. My cup runneth over with invitations and events I could go to, but I’m being very selective, being mindful of my energy level. I do enjoy walking Marley around the neighborhood in the evenings. It’s the highlight of my day.

So that’s where the lions are! I was wondering.

The house on the corner has been vacant for as long as I can remember. I don’t get it. The nice thing is that, in between occasional mowings, wildflowers take over. Thank God for flowers.

Spiderwort Abundance

See the face?

A favorite of bees

spiderwort close up

Speaking of flowers, here’s a John Denver song to lift our spirits.

~~~

Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday was: “scene.” Use it any way you like. Have fun!

For details about SoCS and more streams,

visit our host, Linda G. Hill

by clicking HERE.

SoCS: Just Showing Up with Sunsets

Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “prize.” Use it as a noun or a verb; use it any way you’d like. Have fun!

Everybody gets a prize… sooner or later, big or small. I think it’s okay to get a prize for just showing up. Not a trophy, but something. Like a nice pencil or a bag of jellybeans. When my kids were little and went to the doctor, they’d get to go to the prize box after seeing the doctor and before going to the check out. Even if they cried, they got a prize after seeing the doctor. It might have been a little plastic dinosaur or a plastic ring. Lots or plastic. 😦 I wonder if they still do that.

In my old job as a counselor, I started the family Christmas party group for clients. For many years, I went to the dollar store and bought 50 presents to play that game where you can take the other person’s gift and go back to the pile. It was always fun to see a big tough guy open a baby toy. This was one of the highlights of my old job. I have a feeling they don’t do that anymore, but I could be wrong. It would be great to be wrong about that. I think probably individual groups have a party.

Yesterday’s prize was sunny weather in the low 80s. I broke down and took an allergy pill which helped with the fuzzy head. It’s cooler today.

Another prize, if you could call it that is that I get to play a lot more guitar and pull together music for church over the past three Sundays since our music director/organist has been in the hospital. He came home a couple days ago and is not out of the woods yet. He’s in what my husband would call, “deep weeds.” Healing prayers and good vibes are appreciated for my friend, Chris.

A couple of months ago, I was thinking I should use my singing voice more as a form of service. So now, I am called to do that in a way that was unexpected and not what I had in mind. Last weekend I invited a few friends over (something I rarely do) and we sang peace songs in the backyard. Maybe I’ll make this monthly and record something for you.

Sunsets are prizes we get just for showing up. Sunrises, too, though I show up more for sunsets. Here are a few recent sunsets seen from my neck of the woods:

(It took me a while to complete this post, because my photos would not load from my phone, and it took a while for them to show up in my aol email which is randomly slow.)

~~~

For more info on Stream of Consciousness Saturday

and to read more streams,

visit our host, Linda Hill by clicking HERE.

SoCS: Feed Your Hopes

 

Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “your favorite word.” Decide on your favorite word and use it in your post any way you’d like. Enjoy!

It’s not easy to decide one ONE favorite word. For a moment, I thought my favorite word could be, “possible.” Then I thought of hope. The meaning behind the word, hope, is one of my favorite things. Hope does not have the certainty of faith, but it can lead to faith. If you don’t have faith, look for hope.

I have a bumper sticker that I never put on my bumper. It used to be on a mirror. Now, it’s on my kitchen counter propped by the window. Maybe I’ll stick it on something one day. It says,

Feed your hopes, not your fears.

That’s where the top meme above comes from. Fears can roll around in my head like a crazy dance I don’t want to go to, but end up going anyway. Even knowing how to stop them and rethink takes remembering to do it. Questioning your fears would be like, what evidence is there to support that thought of a cataclysmic meteor hitting the planet? Sure, there are plenty of sci fi movies about it, but what are the chances?

Fear: But I want to be prepared just in case!

Hopes: Okay, so prepare some, but don’t dwell on it, especially at 2 AM.

Let’s hope it never happens. Let’s hope for the best, prepare for the worst, but not make a hobby out of preparing for the worst.

Let’s focus on things we can control or change. Like the serenity prayer says, “Courage to change the things we can.” We can change our own thoughts and actions.

Ten years ago, I quieted my fears of falling back into a sick relationship and focused on myself. I began to hope that there was a partner out there for me that would be a good fit. Not someone who had fits, but who would be compatible. In December, David and I will have been married for 10 years. He doesn’t have fits. He is compatible as in open minded, spiritual, practical (which I need) and he loves dogs.

I hope my dog Marley doesn’t catch the snake I saw this morning. It was a black racer. David says we won’t have a rodent problem with that guy around, meaning the snake which is not poisonous. I’m glad I spotted the snake before Marley did. My daughter suggested I put some big rocks out there the snake can hide under. There is already an old rain gutter embedded in the vines as you can see in the photo. I’ve tried to remove that old rain gutter many times, but it was too hard. Now, I’m going to leave it.

Black Racer

I hope the old rain gutter will provide refuge for the non-poisonous snakes and skinks that Marley likes to hunt.

I hope there are no poisonous snakes in our yard. Changing that to be positively stated, I hope the snakes in our yard are all harmless to people, beneficial to people would be even more positive.

Stating our hopes positively is important. I wrote about this in my very short how to book: From Loneliness to Love. (See sidebar.)

Instead of saying, I want a partner who is not crazy. I would say, I hope for a partner who is reasonably sane, stable, and dependable. Nobody’s perfect, but compatibility is possible. First, we need to get compatible with ourselves. God has a plan for when we are ready.

I hope we humans learn to respect planet earth and help her heal. I hope we clean up our messes. I hope we can learn to live in peace and work things out safely. I interrupted the stream briefly, like a nanosecond, to change the negative words in my head to positives. Flipping that switch gets better with practice. Not perfect. Better.

I hope you all have a beautiful weekend full of hope!

Be a hope dealer.

(I just bought her book on hope.)

For more hope, drop by on Tuesday for some good news!

~~~

For more streams of favorite words, along with the SoCS rules,

visit our host, Linda Hill by clicking HERE.

SoCS: Thoughts on War and Peace (with an old song and a newer song)

 Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “cent/scent/sent.” Use them in any form you like. Use one, use two or use them all. Bonus points if you use all three, and Cheryl will put your next drink on David’s tab. I know, you used to get bonus points for two, but inflation… Enjoy!

(Thank you to Dan for filling in for our usual host, Linda Hill who has been without electricity!)

Of all the Russians sent to fight against the people of Ukraine, I wonder how many want to be there. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to fight in a war, but there are some mercenaries. We watch so many movies and TV shows about fighting, battles, violence… sometimes for a cause which makes for good drama…. I wonder if there are people sent to take Ukraine from her people who are against the war but cannot go home due to repercussions they or their families would have to face. I wonder if any have melted into the countryside and escaped – went AWOL (absent without leave) Probably not many.

The letters my father sent to my mother from Vietnam hint at the struggle to remain fighting in a war where children were killed or left homeless. My mother wanted him to come home. My father wanted to come home. But there was never really any question about what he would actually do. His sense of duty was stronger than desires for home and family and the needs of love. He fulfilled his obligation to the US government. The war haunted him for the rest of his life.

For centuries there have been wars. Maybe some of them have been justified, but most, I believe are not. When will we ever learn? It would be better to chase the scent of flowers than to fight with violence.

Do you remember this song by Peter Paul & Mary? I didn’t remember how pretty the harmonies were for such a sad song.

When will we ever learn? One day, maybe, peace will spread. How, I don’t know, but it will take work and focus on peace, focus on using our words in positive ways. Compromise. Voting out the egomaniacs. All kinds of complicated contributing factors to war and peace. We can only hope, pray, and work for peace in our lives and the lives we touch. It will take work, because we are not perfect. We will get angry, but we can learn to cope in non-violent ways. Smell the flowers and hope one day more people will value peace. And the people will say, that we don’t wanna fight no more, there’ll be no more war, and the children will play….

~~~

For more streams of consciousness, and other details, visit our host, Linda Hill by clicking HERE. Thanks, again to Dan at No Facilities for today’s prompt. Oh, and thanks, Dan for letting us know that … “Linda’s electricity has left the building,” and not using the word, “power,” because we can still have power without electricity. I hope Linda has her electricity back on by now or very, very soon!

SoCS: Trials, Losses, and How Do We Heal?

Our prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “trail/trial.” Use one, use both, use them any way you’d like. Bonus points if you use both. Have fun! ….

There’s a song I like, except maybe for a couple of lines, called “Blessings.” Which lines, I won’t go into. Never mind that. But the chorus goes:

“What if your blessings come through raindrops?

What if your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you’re near?

What if trials in this life, are your mercies in disguise.”

It’s about how trials, disappointments, and challenges bring us closer to God. The song works well when applied to my divorce which, as I wrote about recently, turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

The problem now is that it does not seem to apply to the loss of a child. My heart and mind go to the parents who lost children to brutal, needless, senseless deaths by an 18-year-old who should never have been able to buy a gun and certainly not a weapon of war, in Texas.

I cannot imagine how those worst of trials can be a blessing. I don’t even know if the death of my sister, killed by a drunk driver on her 16th birthday, could have been a blessing to anyone, even with my parents’ dedicating the family room at the shelter in her memory. I don’t know how the loss of a child could be a blessing. Anything is possible, yes, but I would not say that to someone who has just lost a child. I would imagine the anger and overwhelming grief would be too much to even think of blessings, right now.

The husband of a teacher who was killed died from a heart attack – a broken heart – while preparing for his wife’s funeral. Joe and Irma Garcia had been married for 24 years. They had been high school sweethearts.

It’s so wrong. Wrong upon wrong, upon wrong, as we are finding out in the investigation.

Other countries have done better than the US when it comes to gun control and this type of murder. That’s for sure. There is a sickness in the heart of my country. (I just struck through “the heart of” because we have good hearts. Mostly.) Maybe we can recover from this sickness. Individual states have and can pass sensible gun laws. We can improve mental health services, address school dropout rates, etc., but I believe it’s going to take some kind of bigger shift. It’s complicated. Or maybe not.

I hope the investigations will lead to improvements. My hope is floundering a bit which is not typical. It will come as no surprise to most of my readers that I believe we need more balance between bad news and good news. That’s part of the sickness – a lack of balance.

Healing. How do we heal? Look for the good. Look for the true heroes, like teachers who continue to teach in schools, first responders who do what is necessary, leaders who have the courage to make changes for a more peaceful country, and a more peaceful world, parents who keep going after heartbreaking loss. Look for the heroes. Hold them up. Hold them in your heart. Keep them in your prayers. We can all do our part to nurture peace.

I know this is a rambling rant. Sometimes that’s what you get in the stream of consciousness. I confess I have gone back and edited a little. It was badly needed.

Maybe I should’ve written about hiking trails. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll put some in a gallery. There’s something coming to me about “The Peace of Wild Things” – a poem by Wendell Berry.

My granddaughter on the trail

Better duck

Trail on the right

Below are some of my most recent photos from the Farm Animal Sanctuary

Delilah on the porch

Esther the Elder

Simon with the Lady in Charge giving TLC

Simon has healed from a mysterious paralysis.

~~~

For more streams of consciousness and rules, visit our host, Linda Hill by following this trail: https://lindaghill.com/2022/05/27/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-28-2022/

Tipping Points for Self Care, Peace, and Planet Earth

Our Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “tip.” Use it as a noun or a verb. Have fun!

So many possibilities for “tip.” That’s why Linda is the hostess with the most-est, and best-est prompts.

The tip of the iceberg can seem to be what caused the tipping point, but there was a lot more underneath. Lots of straws under the last straw. It’s like when you are in a relationship that’s not a good fit, but you stay there because there are some good things. Maybe he makes you laugh, but not as much as he used to, because he makes you cry, too. Maybe he has a good heart, but a crazy mind – not good crazy – paranoid, jealous, controlling. And then finally, something happens to make you realize, it’s not worth it. You deserve better.

The tipping point can happen in a job, or any toxic relationship – one too many criticisms, one too many late nights, stomachaches and other signs of stress…. Our bodies tell us if we pay attention. Eventually the time comes to get out, and you realize you can.

(From Pixabay perhaps?)

Forgiveness can come later. But forgiveness doesn’t mean we have to have lunch. We can forgive from a distance.

What a relief when we step away from something that has felt like a suit that didn’t really fit. That’s happened to me recently. I felt obligated to be part of something that became more restrictive (mentally and spiritually) over time. Now that I’ve stepped away, I feel more authentic.

A tipping point can also go in the direction of something good! What’s it going to take to get me to take that bike sitting on the catio to get fixed so I can ride it? What’s it going to take to get me back to a gym, or maybe a physical therapist, for my occasional back spasms? Those back spasms (almost gone now) were the tipping point to get me to pay someone do a little yard work instead of trying to do it all myself.

I’m hoping for a tipping point that will make Putin really back off and give Ukraine the power to be free of tyranny. Can there be a tipping point for peace?

I’m hoping for a tipping point that gets us to take care of planet earth. Not another crisis, but maybe that’s what it will take. It could go either way.

From Facebook

Speaking of nature, I greatly enjoyed the perfect weather and company when my friend met me at Airlie Gardens to take pictures last week.

Tulips

Path to the Fountain

Resurrection Fern on Oak with Azaleas

Branches Draped Over Water

Spanish Moss with Sunbeams

Baby Fern

Azalea Sculpture

~~~

For more streams, rules, and tips for Stream of Consciousness Saturday, visit our host, Linda at:

https://lindaghill.com/2022/04/01/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-april-2-2022/

“Give Peace to Every Heart” and “A Groovy Kinda Love”

Bee’s post about Ukraine inspired me to change my plans a bit today and start with this Taize song. I hope to sing it at church soon, alternating with the English, “Give Peace to Every Heart.” Maybe I can find someone to accompany me.

Now, for the song I had planned for today:

Originally recorded by American vocalists, Diane and Annita in 1965, “A Groovy Kind of Love” was a hit in 1966 sung by the UK group, The Mindbenders. Many people have recorded this dreamy song, but I like how Phil Collins sings it in this rehearsal with Melody Dylem

“Love is in da blog” is hosted by Bee every February. Thank you, Bee! Please click the link above to Bee’s post for details.

A Quote from Maya Angelou’s “A Brave and Startling Truth”

“…Out of such chaos, of such contradiction

We learn that we are neither devils nor divines….”

Maya Angelou

This quote is from Dr. Maya Angelou’s powerful poem, “A Brave and Startling Truth.”

We, this people, on a small and lonely planet
Traveling through casual space
Past aloof stars, across the way of indifferent suns
To a destination where all signs tell us
It is possible and imperative that we learn
A brave and startling truth

And when we come to it
To the day of peacemaking
When we release our fingers
From fists of hostility
And allow the pure air to cool our palms

When we come to it
When the curtain falls on the minstrel show of hate
And faces sooted with scorn are scrubbed clean
When battlefields and coliseum
No longer rake our unique and particular sons and daughters
Up with the bruised and bloody grass
To lie in identical plots in foreign soil

When the rapacious storming of the churches
The screaming racket in the temples have ceased
When the pennants are waving gaily
When the banners of the world tremble
Stoutly in the good, clean breeze

When we come to it
When we let the rifles fall from our shoulders
And children dress their dolls in flags of truce
When land mines of death have been removed
And the aged can walk into evenings of peace
When religious ritual is not perfumed
By the incense of burning flesh
And childhood dreams are not kicked awake
By nightmares of abuse

When we come to it
Then we will confess that not the Pyramids
With their stones set in mysterious perfection
Nor the Gardens of Babylon
Hanging as eternal beauty
In our collective memory
Not the Grand Canyon
Kindled into delicious color
By Western sunsets

Nor the Danube, flowing its blue soul into Europe
Not the sacred peak of Mount Fuji
Stretching to the Rising Sun
Neither Father Amazon nor Mother Mississippi who, without favor,
Nurture all creatures in the depths and on the shores
These are not the only wonders of the world

When we come to it
We, this people, on this minuscule and kithless globe
Who reach daily for the bomb, the blade and the dagger
Yet who petition in the dark for tokens of peace
We, this people on this mote of matter
In whose mouths abide cankerous words
Which challenge our very existence
Yet out of those same mouths
Come songs of such exquisite sweetness
That the heart falters in its labor
And the body is quieted into awe

We, this people, on this small and drifting planet
Whose hands can strike with such abandon
That in a twinkling, life is sapped from the living
Yet those same hands can touch with such healing, irresistible tenderness
That the haughty neck is happy to bow
And the proud back is glad to bend
Out of such chaos, of such contradiction
We learn that we are neither devils nor divines

When we come to it
We, this people, on this wayward, floating body
Created on this earth, of this earth
Have the power to fashion for this earth
A climate where every man and every woman
Can live freely without sanctimonious piety
Without crippling fear

When we come to it
We must confess that we are the possible
We are the miraculous, the true wonder of this world
That is when, and only when
We come to it.”

― Maya Angelou, A Brave and Startling Truth

One-Liner Wednesday and Just Jot it January are brought to us by Linda Hill.

For more one-liners and jottings, visit Linda’s post HERE.

Good News Tuesday for Jan. 18, 2022: Five Nations Agree to Avoid Nuclear War, Honoring Women, a Champion of Earth, and My JJJ Prompt is Up Today

Seeking Balance One Tuesday at a Time

Five Powerful Countries Agree to Avoid Nuclear War and Work for Disarmament

Earlier this month, China, France, Russia, the UK and the US signed an agreement to avoid nuclear war and work toward global disarmament. These five nations released a joint statement affirming that “…a nuclear war cannot be won and must never be fought.” The ending of the five-paragraph joint statement is especially positive: “We are resolved to pursue constructive dialogue with mutual respect and acknowledgment of each other’s security interests and concerns.” You can read more at The Guardian.

…

Honoring Inspiring Women

Matel is honoring black journalist and activist Ida B. Wells by making a doll in her image as part of the company’s “Inspiring Women” series which includes Dr. Maya Angelou, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Rosa Parks. Good Morning America has details. Poet Maya Angelou will also become the first Black woman portrayed on a U.S. quarter. Other women to be featured on coins will include astronaut Sally Ride; actress Anna May Wong; suffragist and politician Nina Otero-Warren; and Wilma Mankiller, the first female principal chief of the Cherokee Nation.” NPR has more on the coins.

…

A Champion of Earth

On Dec. 7th, The United Nations recognized Gladys Kalema-Zikusoka, a wildlife veterinarian, as one of its “champions of the Earth” for promoting the One Health approach to conservation in Africa. This wise woman connects the well-being of animals, humans, and planet Earth.

…

My #JusJoJan Prompt is Up Today

In personal good news, Linda accepted my prompt (cycle) for Just Jot it January, and it’s up today! Good News Tuesday cycles around every week, so make sure to drop by again for some good news! My #JusJoJan post, will hopefully be up before noon.

…

Got Good News?

Feel free to share your good news or GNT link in the comments!