I took this photo with my phone last night. The words came to me later as I moved closer, stood in the water, and felt the aliveness of the ocean. The photo does not quite capture her power. An hour earlier, she had knocked me down twice, but I had to laugh and say, “Okay, you win. Tonight is not the night for swimming.” But it was a night for gazing.
Today’s Song Lyric Sunday prompt was about magic, and while I thought of a few good songs, I decided to share this poem instead. The ocean in moonlight has always held a special magic for me.
I met my first love in the fall of 1971, when I was 16 years old. I felt like my heart would break when he had to move 700 miles back to Connecticut with his family. A lady I babysat for told me that if we were meant to be together, we would be. That helped.
As broken hearted as I was over my first boyfriend moving, after we’d only gone steady for about 7 months, suicide never seriously crossed my mind.
The first time I thought about suicide was in my early twenties. I thought about walking out in front of a truck. It had to do with the break up with another boyfriend, and not knowing what I was going to do with my life. ….But my younger sister had been killed by a drunk driver and that hurt my parents so much, I could not hurt them in that way. They didn’t deserve that much pain….
It’s a darn good thing I didn’t kill myself! Because I would have missed out on many joys and adventures. Countless joys, and countable sorrows that helped me learn and grow. I was happily married for many years, gave birth to two extraordinary children, climbed mountains, swam in the ocean, laughed and danced and learned to play the guitar and sing…..
When my 20 year marriage ended, I was depressed. A counselor asked me if I had thoughts of suicide. I told her I could never consider doing that to my children and my parents. I just wanted the pain to stop. So I got into a sick, addictive relationship. I didn’t know it was sick and addictive at first, but being vulnerable, at a low, low point in my life, it was pretty bad. Thankfully it only lasted a year. Which was a year too long.
The second post divorce relationship I got into was better, but definitely not “the one.” By the third year in that second relationship, I realized that I was never really able to relax with the man.
The third time was a charm. I’d been single and celibate for 5 years, working on me, when my first boyfriend found me again (39 years later) when the time was perfect!
The second, first time I saw him, my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest with joy. Our second, first date was magic! When my nose drifted to his neck and inhaled his natural scent, I felt intoxicated. My brain had imprinted the natural smell of my first love all those years ago. I still adore his subtle, almost imperceptible scent.
You never know what plans God had in store for you.
Don’t ever give up. Miracles happen!
Today’s Stream of Consciousness post prompt was to use an ordinal number, like first, second, third, ……
If you’d like to jump into the stream, start here:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
Fiercely agnostic in my twenties,
Haunted by dreams of abduction
By conservative Christians,
I’d pretend to play along
Whilst planning my escape.
They could not brainwash me!
As the years passed,
I met the Good Shepherd,
Saint Francis of Assisi,
Hildegarde of Bingen,
Teresa of Avila…
And I learned that all Christians aren’t the same
Some have minds
Gently open
Curiously listening
Loving without an agenda.
And all Buddhists aren’t the same
And all Muslims aren’t the same.
And all Pagans aren’t the same
I see the rebellious pathways
In my twenty something offspring,
Understanding, now
The fear of my mother,
The faith of my father.
I want to be a bridge.
Not a barrier.
I want you to know,
My indigo children:
I believe the Creator
Planted miracles
In this paradise planet,
Medicine in the plants,
Life in the water,
Magic in the rocks.
And all is a gift
From the Creator,
Who you may call
God
Goddess
Great Spirit
Mother
Father
Source
We may not agree, exactly
But we are more alike than different.
Her post got me thinking about a question that’s been floating around in my mind for a while:
What is magic?
Avatar Exhibit, Children’s Museum, Indianapolis
Some things that seem like magic, can be explained by science. But they are still magical. Like magnetism, fire flies, thunder, lightening, rainbows, mushrooms making fairy circles….
The Pandoran wood sprites in the photo to the right, moved magically to anything that came close to the wall projection where they lived. Of course there is a scientific explanation for that, but it was still magical. It was especially magical being there with the children who didn’t try to figure out the technology that made this happen. They just enjoyed being there.
Even when I understand the science, it’s still magic.
The true magic, I believe, is not the kind where a man with a black cape and wand pulls a rabbit out of a hat.
The magic I believe in is broad and spiritual. It has something to do with the “Law of Attraction.” But I believe it also has to do with the influence and assistance of angels, spirit guides, and ultimately, ever present, all knowing God, the Great Spirit.
I don’t like to put God in a box. God is beyond gender, beyond our understanding. Though if we pay attention, we may glimpse God through nature, other people and miracles.
God makes the biggest, best magic.
Like making things work out in the long run. And bringing long lost loves back together again when the time is right….
…..And the marvelous tapestry of things contained on and in planet Earth.
We only need to open our eyes and minds and hearts.
Magic is all around us.
Magic lives in snowflakes and ice crystals, in daffodils and cocooned caterpillars, waiting for the warm sunlight to bring new life.
Magic lives in believing that spring is coming, even though we don’t feel it yet.
Magic lives in silly things like cats playing in paper bags and baby giggles.
Magic lives in the vibration of drum beats and heart beats, guitar strings and virgin wings taking flight.
This is my 111th post on this blog. Is that magic?
This photo is brought to you from pixabay.com with Gratitude.
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
― Melody Beattie
This is one of my favorite quotes by one of my favorite writers. It originally came to me from her book, The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations for Codependents, in the meditation for August 1st.
Why August instead of later November? Because we need the magic of gratitude every day.
She goes on to write:
“Gratitude makes things right. Gratitude turns negative energy into positive energy. There is no situation or circumstance so small or large that it is not susceptible to gratitude’s power. We can start with who we are and what we have today, apply gratitude, then let it work it’s magic.”
Is it possible that something as simple as gratitude can be so powerful?
I believe so.
After I stopped asking why I couldn’t couldn’t find the right partner,
After I started to thank God for blessings, including the mystery ones on the way,
Anything is Possible! 