To My Guardian Angels

I know I ran you ragged

In the late 70s.

All those times I drank too much

And put myself with risky people

You were there

Heeding my parent’s prayers

Though you would have been there anyway.

Did you have emergency meetings?

Strategic planning sessions?

Did your wings tremble

While I was oblivious to the danger?

You must have shaken your heads

And called for more back up

The night I went out alone

To that infamous street

We used to ride down

With the doors locked.

It was a dead.

A weeknight.

No one even talked to me.

You must have been surrounding me

Shielding me with your light

And I didn’t even know it.

Did you yell at me to

Just go home, for Godsake!

I must have heard you sometimes

From the back corner of my mind.

I’m sorry I put you through so much.

 

And even when I was older

And should have known better

But blinded by grief

I fell into that slimy pit,

The rebound from hell

And stumbled around in circles

Until you pried open my eyes

And showed me the way out.

Did you know there was something better coming?

Did you nudge us toward each other?

Did you dance when we finally got it right?

I cannot thank you enough,

my guardian angels.

Thank you for saving my life.

I hope you get to go on  vacation.

 

 

(And thank you for watching over my kids.

I know they run you ragged sometimes.)

 

 

Coming Out of the Woods with a Smile

There is such a thing as a good news story.

You might think a two year old who’d been lost in the woods overnight would be found tearful and traumatized. But when Brooklyn Lynn Lilly was found in the woods of Michigan, 22 hours after she wandered off, she came out with a beautiful smile on her face and said:

“I love it in the woods.”

Here’s the story:

http://www.aol.com/article/2014/11/07/police-dog-finds-missing-2-year-old-unharmed-in-the-woods/20990439/?ncid=webmail3

Maybe Brooklyn wasn’t alone in the woods. I believe at least one guardian angel was with her. I like to think maybe  it was a special guardian angel who likes the woods.  I wouldn’t mind trying that job, say, 40 years from now.  And God was with Brooklyn too.

Thank you, God!

Thank you, guardian angels!

Thank you, Jax, the rescue dog who found Brooklyn with help from his human partner!

Being a lover of the woods too, I’m curious to know what Brooklyn saw, what she felt.

Was she a nature girl  before she wandered off? Or did she experience something special on her adventure that made her love the woods?

Where did she get that positive attitude?  Did it help keep her alive? Did it help the love of her guardian angel get through to her?

I wonder who she will grow up to be.

Picture from Pixabay

Stay safe, Brooklyn Lynn Lilly.

There will be time for more adventures when you are a little older.

God Has a Plan!

Lone Bird, by JoAnne Silvia

Psalm 13:

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

How long shall I have perplexity in my mind and grief in my heart, day after day? How long shall my enemy triumph over me?

Look upon me and answer me, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, lest I sleep in death.

Lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him.” and my foes rejoice that I have fallen.

But I put my trust in your mercy; my heart is joyful because of your saving help.

I will sing to the Lord, for he has dealt with me richly. I will praise the Name of the Lord Most High.”

This psalm takes me back to the grief…the pain of separation after being married for 20 years, followed by an unexpected divorce. I believed that my husband and I would grow old together, that when the kids were grown, we would travel across country in an RV like my parents did.

The grief was most intense on August 18th, the anniversary of my first marriage – the one I believed would last until death parted us. I could not understand how God could have let this happen. I felt deserted and confused.

Even I didn’t know what a wreck I was after the divorce, until I woke up from the nightmare of a sick rebound relationship.

In the years that followed, I wondered what was wrong with me, that I couldn’t find anyone right for me to date, let alone, marry. It seemed like I was alone for a long time, but in retrospect, it wasn’t that long, and I was never alone.

It was love at fist sight when I walked into my church and saw him over two decades ago.

God was with me the whole time. My guardian angel walked beside me, shaking her head in exasperation. And Jesus, the Good Shepherd, was always there, lighting the path of love, that led back to the fold.

Jeremiah 29:11 was my life preserver.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give your hope and a future.”

Maybe God wanted me to be single so I could accomplish more, because relationships do take time and effort, even the good ones.  And the unhealthy relationships, well, they can be insanely distracting, taking us way off course…

(Or maybe not off course, but learning what we need to change to be ready for the gift.)

What I know now is that I had to work on me, and be a better parent, and draw closer to God.  I had to love myself and do what was right for me as a single person.  I kept going to the church where I felt accepted and cherished. I kept working and learning, singing and enjoying creation.  I kept putting one foot in front of the other, loving the family and friends who walked beside me.

And God did have a plan!

Now, August 18th is just another summer day with the love of my life. God has dealt with me richly, with many blessings, including bringing my soul mate to me when the time was perfect.

In times of uncertainty, I must remember God’s mercy and let my heart be joyful!

Heart Cloud, by JoAnne Silvia