SoCS: Feed Your Hopes

 

Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “your favorite word.” Decide on your favorite word and use it in your post any way you’d like. Enjoy!

It’s not easy to decide one ONE favorite word. For a moment, I thought my favorite word could be, “possible.” Then I thought of hope. The meaning behind the word, hope, is one of my favorite things. Hope does not have the certainty of faith, but it can lead to faith. If you don’t have faith, look for hope.

I have a bumper sticker that I never put on my bumper. It used to be on a mirror. Now, it’s on my kitchen counter propped by the window. Maybe I’ll stick it on something one day. It says,

Feed your hopes, not your fears.

That’s where the top meme above comes from. Fears can roll around in my head like a crazy dance I don’t want to go to, but end up going anyway. Even knowing how to stop them and rethink takes remembering to do it. Questioning your fears would be like, what evidence is there to support that thought of a cataclysmic meteor hitting the planet? Sure, there are plenty of sci fi movies about it, but what are the chances?

Fear: But I want to be prepared just in case!

Hopes: Okay, so prepare some, but don’t dwell on it, especially at 2 AM.

Let’s hope it never happens. Let’s hope for the best, prepare for the worst, but not make a hobby out of preparing for the worst.

Let’s focus on things we can control or change. Like the serenity prayer says, “Courage to change the things we can.” We can change our own thoughts and actions.

Ten years ago, I quieted my fears of falling back into a sick relationship and focused on myself. I began to hope that there was a partner out there for me that would be a good fit. Not someone who had fits, but who would be compatible. In December, David and I will have been married for 10 years. He doesn’t have fits. He is compatible as in open minded, spiritual, practical (which I need) and he loves dogs.

I hope my dog Marley doesn’t catch the snake I saw this morning. It was a black racer. David says we won’t have a rodent problem with that guy around, meaning the snake which is not poisonous. I’m glad I spotted the snake before Marley did. My daughter suggested I put some big rocks out there the snake can hide under. There is already an old rain gutter embedded in the vines as you can see in the photo. I’ve tried to remove that old rain gutter many times, but it was too hard. Now, I’m going to leave it.

Black Racer

I hope the old rain gutter will provide refuge for the non-poisonous snakes and skinks that Marley likes to hunt.

I hope there are no poisonous snakes in our yard. Changing that to be positively stated, I hope the snakes in our yard are all harmless to people, beneficial to people would be even more positive.

Stating our hopes positively is important. I wrote about this in my very short how to book: From Loneliness to Love. (See sidebar.)

Instead of saying, I want a partner who is not crazy. I would say, I hope for a partner who is reasonably sane, stable, and dependable. Nobody’s perfect, but compatibility is possible. First, we need to get compatible with ourselves. God has a plan for when we are ready.

I hope we humans learn to respect planet earth and help her heal. I hope we clean up our messes. I hope we can learn to live in peace and work things out safely. I interrupted the stream briefly, like a nanosecond, to change the negative words in my head to positives. Flipping that switch gets better with practice. Not perfect. Better.

I hope you all have a beautiful weekend full of hope!

Be a hope dealer.

(I just bought her book on hope.)

For more hope, drop by on Tuesday for some good news!

~~~

For more streams of favorite words, along with the SoCS rules,

visit our host, Linda Hill by clicking HERE.

I Don’t Usually Do This, But….

I’m making an exception on this Pass it Along Getting to Know You questionnaire, because

1. I only have to tag two people (I don’t want to impose) and
2. The  questions are interesting
3. There are only 7 questions

When M. Oniker tagged me, I first thought I’d decline as usual. But after reading her answers and thinking of some of my own, I started to reconsider. If you’ve tagged me on this same questionnaire already, I apologize. I still don’t do awards or anything where you’re supposed to tag a bunch of people, or if I just feel overwhelmed…. Why do I feel like I have to explain? Anyway here goes!

1. Name a moment in your life when you felt you were most courageous.

There were many moments of courage in the 30 something years I worked as a substance abuse counselor. It’s amazing to me now that I even did that job for so long, especially since I’ve retired and my inner introvert has come out of the closet. I don’t recall one specific moment, but I often had to assert my truth and confront the voice of addiction coming from clients who were angry and rude because deep down they hurt like hell. Sometimes I faced the monster with gentleness. Other times, I had to be firm and practice boundary setting. But I could not run and hide. I must’ve gotten better with practice, but it was never easy. Thank God for the moments of rejoicing and the privilege of witnessing recovery.  It took courage to leave that job, to say, enough, to the growing bureaucracy and red tape and trust that I’d be taken care of – just like it took courage ten years earlier to say enough after the post-divorce rebounds and trust that God had a plan for my life.

2. If you had to choose only one breakfast cereal for the rest of your life, which one would it be?

Oh good. Now we get a light and easy question. Every morning, I eat oatmeal with apples, bananas and walnuts (plus pomegranate, blueberries or peaches when in season) The every morning part might sound boring, but it’s really good and my husband makes breakfast, so I’m okay sticking with that. Occasionally we go to IHOP for dinner and order pancakes and omelettes.

3. When have you felt the most scared?

I’m sure it was when one of my kids was in trouble, like when the police called about my son when he was 15 or when my daughter was going through something scary. Nothing grabs hold of my heart like when one of my kids (or dogs) is in trouble. It was worse when they were young. I’ll never forget that feeling of being in a public place and losing sight of my child even for a few seconds. They’re grown now, but I still get a gut/heart blip  when they’re going through something hard.

4. If you could sing like any musical artist, who would you choose?

I love to sing, especially when I can experiment with harmonies. Not to brag, but I used to have a good range. Now it takes more work to keep the old vocal chords in shape. The high notes are harder to reach these days. I love listening to Celtic music and wonder if I could’ve been a Celtic Woman. But other paths called. When I read this question, Sarah McLachlan came to mind.  I also like Pink. And then there’s Loreena Mckennitt. Take your pick!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. Do you collect anything?

Yes. Too many things, so I’m de-cluttering. The things I collect that give me joy are snow globes. Plus, I’ve inherited my mother’s angel collection and will keep many of them. Oh, and blue and amber glass bottles. But that’s it. And rabbits. And candles for hurricanes. That’s it.

6. If you could live inside a TV show or movie, what would it be?

If you’ve been reading my posts lately, you might think I’m going to say Star Trek. If it was the 60s, I would definitely say that cause of my old crush, Mr. Spock. But now I know I get motion sickness too easily, and beaming any where would probably make me faint. Plus I love old mother earth, so I’m going to go with Northern Exposure – as long as I can fly south for the winter after I’ve seen the Northern Lights. There’s something about that quirky little town and being close to nature. But I have a feeling I’d get tired of it about mid-winter.  This video gives the best overview of the show, though I wish Ed and Marilyn could have made it.

 

 

7. Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? If so, what was it?

Water has been the most common element in dreams I remember. In my twenties, I had a lot of dreams about tidal waves – trying to get out of the way, and OMG Where did we park the car? Then there were the dreams about going over steep, high bridges. Later things calmed down, and I dreamed about water covering the path ahead of me. My favorite water dreams are about stepping out in faith as a stepping stone rises to meet my foot and the dreams where I was able to breathe under water. I love to swim, so those were the best. I could stay under water as long a I wanted to. But I’ll never forget the dream where I was flying low and fast over the marshy intra-coastal canals just inches from the sparkling water.

There. I did it. That’s all the questions. The hardest part is tagging two people. There is absolutely no obligation of course.

Joey at https://jolenemottern.com/ does these things sometimes, so maybe I could tag her. Joey has some hilarious real life posts. I like how she makes up her own version of words that flow naturally.

Then there’s Laura from https://riddlefromthemiddle.com/  where you’ll find a diverse range of topics like social justice, family, and lots of fun stuff.

Anyone who wants to answer these questions, consider yourself tagged and feel free to link your post in the comments!

 

 

 

The fears are paper tigers.

There’s so much I love about this post by “Purple Rays.” In the painting, the woman is attending to an animal we usually think of as fierce, maybe even frightening. But she is loving, even playful toward the tiger with the flower necklace. Perhaps, instead of pushing them away, I will comfort my fears as I would a fearful child. Then I can take the action that is needed in my life as encouraged by the words of Amelia Earhart.

Purplerays

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act,
the rest is merely tenacity.
The fears are paper tigers.
You can do anything you decide to do.
You can act to change and control your life;
and the procedure,
the process is its own reward.”

~Amelia Earhart

Artist~Frederick Stuart Church
Text & image source: Remember ღ Once upon a Time? https://web.facebook.com/RememberOnceUponATime/

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Walking the Labyrinth on New Years Eve

http://www.cosepiscopal.ecdio.org/Labyrinth/labyrinth.html

Inside Out: A Fun Movie About Perseverance….and Faith, and Hope

I don’t go to movies much. But when I saw the trailer for Inside Out, an animated film about feelings, I wanted to go. Then a woman from my support group brought it up and we decided to go see it.

The main character (on the outside) is a young girl named Riley. She has a hard time with her family’s move to California. Having moved at least nine times as the child of a 20 year marine, I could feel Riley’s pain.

The characters on the inside include Riley’s feelings: Fear, Anger, Disgust, Sadness, and the ever popular, Joy. Inside Out shows how all our feelings have important roles to play in our lives.

My favorite part begins somewhere in the middle when Joy and Sadness get sucked out of brain headquarters, where decisions are made, and have to find a way back carrying some really important core memories.

On their adventure they encounter the worlds of imagination, long term memory and the dark pit where forgotten memories go. They meet Riley’s imaginary friend, who’s actions give me a theory about why I have no memory of my imaginary friend, Auntie Jane, who my mother said I blamed for my misdeeds.

The only problem I had with the movie, and it’s a minor one for me, was that the happy ending of the traditional family with mom and dad, might be hard for children who come from  non-traditional or single parent families. But then, the film provides a great framework with which to identify and talk about feelings that might arise. I’m probably activating Fear’s cousin, Worry, about this. I’m sorry, Worry, but you need to go away.

Watching Inside Out, I laughed, and I cried, joyfully forgetting I was watching a cartoon. I found Inside Out  to be entertaining, original, and visually intriguing. It’s a fun movie that teaches about perseverance, teamwork and problem solving. Now that I think about it, it’s also about faith and hope, too.

I might even go see it again.

Remember: Don’t compare your insides to other people’s outsides.

Why Waddle When You Can Fly?

A couple weeks ago, Father Dan Macgill told us the story of the First Goose Church. It’s a story originally by Danish Philosopher Soren Kierkegaard. When I looked it up, I couldn’t find the story about geese, but I found the one about ducks.

Geese, ducks, take your pick. It’s a good story. I think I’ll go with ducks.

There once was a mythical little town inhabited exclusively by ducks. Every Sunday the ducks waddled to Duck  Church.  One Sunday, the duck minister delivered a particularly inspiring sermon:

“Ducks! God has given you wings! With wings you can fly! With wings you can mount up and soar like eagles!”

“Amen!” said the ducks.

“No walls can confine you,” he continued. “No fences can hold you!”

“Amen!” said the ducks.

“You have wings! God has given you wings, so YOU CAN FLY!” he shouted.

“Amen!” shouted the ducks.

The ducks felt excited as they filed out of the church, thanking the duck minister for a wonderful sermon.

And when church was over, they all waddled home.

In fear, they talked about how flying could be foolish, maybe even dangerous! Ducks who flew didn’t stay plump; they got skinny. There were rumors of ducks who flew and were never seen again.

Most of the ducks never realized their full potential.

What keeps us from soaring to greater heights? From reaching our dreams? What keeps us in situations that are familiar and safe when we know we were meant for something greater, something more fulfilling?

We must not let fear keep us following the same old paths that lead nowhere, repeating habits that hold us back, hanging on to old prejudices that distance us from divine love.

We are on the brink of miracles.

Let us push beyond what we have known.

Let us have the courage to fly!

Thanks to KG for helping me find the song below in this post:

https://booksmusicandmovies.wordpress.com/2015/06/23/tuesday-tunes-74/

Thank you to pixabay for the duck photo.

Pray for Baltimore

There must be another way

To find answers.

There must be another way

To be heard.

There must be another way

To seek justice.

There must be another way

To understand.

There must be another way

To bring peace.

Let your love be stronger than your anger.

Let your faith be stronger than your fear.

“Massive Force” does not bring peace.

Love is the only thing that heals.

Pray for Baltimore.

 

Image from:

https://twitter.com/search?q=%23PrayForBaltimore&src=tyah

Gethsemane: Facing Fear

This post is part of my week long series revisiting the movie Jesus Christ Superstar. Thanks for joining the journey!

Ted Neely’s powerful performance as Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, gets me at the core of my being, every time.

Seeing the human fear and the weariness Jesus feels in this scene inspires me and even comforts me. He died for us in spite of his fear. His powerful connection with his loving Father gave him courage, but it was far from easy for him. Otherwise, He would not have asked for a reprieve.

This scene reminds me that each of us can deepen our connection with God, to give us courage to face our own trials, large and small.

We can ask God questions: Do you really want me to do this?

We can ask for help: Okay, God. Show me how. Help me feel your presence, your strength. Please give me the courage to do this.

 

Prayer, Support and Healing

We got a phone call, last Thursday night, that my two year old grandson, 700 miles away, was in the hospital with a bad case of pneumonia. A little while later I found out he had been helicoptered to a university hospital and was on a ventilator.
It was the night before our parish retreat at Trinity Center, where my husband and I would have leadership roles in morning and evening prayer services. Part of me wanted to get on a plane and fly to where my grandson was. Maybe I could help with something. But instead I prayed and tried to have faith that God had this covered. I asked for prayers on Facebook, something I don’t do often, especially for myself or some one in my family. Why is it easier for me to ask for prayers for some one outside of my family, or total strangers even? Maybe it’s the scary part of feeling vulnerable when I ask for prayers for myself or some one close to me.

The little guy was on my mind all day Friday. I’d called my Dad, the most powerful prayer warrior I know, to join the team. At times I was able to push away my fears and visualize my grandson healthy and strong, running and playing outside with a smile on his face.  That felt like the right thing to do.

Late Friday afternoon, at Trinity Center, my husband, David,  asked me to follow him. I figured he wanted to show me something. He took me to the little chapel where tea light candles rested in a bowl of sand, waiting.  Together, we lit a candle for my grandson, and David read from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer: A Prayer for Healing. I was moved that he thought of this. After dinner, at the Compline service, I asked my church family to pray with me. I prayed for my grandson’s healing, for wisdom for his doctors and nurses, and for comfort to his parents. I was worried, but something told me God was working on this.

On Saturday morning, we got up at dawn to watch the sun rise over the ocean, but the sky was overcast, so we couldn’t see the sun. Instead we watched pelicans dive for their breakfast. After our breakfast in the dining hall, we had Morning Prayer, discussion and meditation time. Then, I went back to our room to get an update on my grandson. His doctor had decided to use a scope to take a look into his collapsed right lung. They found an obstruction  that could not be removed with the scope, so surgery was needed. The obstruction turned out to be a kidney bean.

Use with caution!

 

Who knew kidney beans could cause that kind of trouble?

 

 

 

 

That night, during Evening Prayer, I was filled with gratitude as we sang “Amazing Grace” accompanied by simple guitar chords and the sweet rain dancing outside.

After the kidney bean was removed, my grandson’s condition began to improve right away. His right lung started to work, and he came off the ventilator. He was discharged from the hospital on Sunday. His mom said he was so ready to go, he almost ran out the door.

What a relief to know he was okay! But it was not a total surprise. I’d felt the fear, but there was much more hope. Being at Trinity Center, surrounded by nature, with my husband and members of our church family, was a big comfort. I realized how important it is to have good support and to have a relationship with a loving, caring power greater than ourselves.

Thank you, God!

For a look at Trinity Center, where we held our parish retreat:

http://joannesilvia.wordpress.com/2014/09/23/trinity-weekend-relax-restore-and-revitalize-with-nature/