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Overcoming My Fear of Heights, Sort of, But Not Really.

rock slide into blue water

Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt is, “high/low.”

I am not a fan of heights. That’s a nice way of saying I have a fear of heights, or rather a fear of falling from a high place. Was it an anxious mother or something wired into my brain? I suppose it would be a good adaptation for a child to be born with. But if you’re born with it, it’s not an adaptation, except for the species.

I’ve pushed myself outside my comfort zone doing an outdoor adventure ropes course, walking on a wire in a harness. Loved the zip line once I trusted the equipment. But most heights are not a natural high for me. One exception is if I’m jumping into water. In my early twenties, I flirted with becoming a lifeguard  being trained by a lifeguard who was sort of flirting with me. I didn’t follow through on it, because I was in my twenties and….got distracted easily. But I did get to jump off of a diving platform that was about ? 35 feet high. That’s just a guess. I was scared at first, but knowing the water would catch me, it turned out to be exhilarating.

Water is my friend. The earth is my friend. My natural highs are mostly low to the ground. Water envelopes me, like in the womb maybe. It cools my fire sign – Sagittarius. I’ve always wanted to go caving, and loved scuba diving in my twenties. So quiet and peaceful down there.

cave with water

I sometimes wonder what I’d do if I HAD to walk across one of those swinging bridges, miles above a crocodile-filled river. The kind of bridge with old wooden slats you can see in  between.  The only way I could do it would be to not look down. That’s what I’ve learned.  I walked on the “Mile High Swinging Bridge” at Grandfather Mountain in NC once.  Looking down made me feel nauseous. I was okay as long as I only looked where I was putting my feet, and held on to the railing. And nobody made the bridge swing. And there was no wind. Then it was a piece of cake. I was happy to get to the last step and onto solid rock.

I do like to look out across the mountain tops from a good solid piece of earth.


No outcroppings. No dangling my feet over the edge. (Unless there’s deep water below and no crocs.)

My natural highs are earthy. Riding horses. Swimming.  I don’t mind deep water I know will hold me.  Digging in the dirt. Re-arranging plants and seedlings. And dark chocolate.  Let’s not forget that! Watching sunsets. Colored glass. Singing – especially figuring out harmonies and getting them to blend. Getting a massage. Soft, steady caresses that take me to a trance.

These are things that would tend to keep my blood pressure low which it normally is. My husband on the other hand, likes to fly. He wants to re-certify his pilot’s license. He tends to have high blood pressure. He is not fond of swimming. But he goes into the ocean with me, even though he’d rather be in the sky. Some day, I’ll go flying with him.

flying pair

(The first two photos are from Pixabay. The last two are from me. )

The Saturday Stream of Consciousness is brought to you by Linda at:

Stop by Linda’s blog for more takes on high/low.


Here are the SoCS rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!