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Emotional Vampires and Self Care

Get out of my bathroom!

Today’s prompt for Just Jot January and One-liner Wednesday is: Vampires.

There are many types of vampires. I’m going to write about the emotional vampires – people or jobs that try to suck the life out of us.

After I retired, my husband said, “That job was sucking the life out of you.” (That’s my one liner unless I find one that’s more positive.)

It wasn’t always like that. But it got worse in the last five years of my 30 year career when demands became unreasonable. It was common to work through lunch and take work home – physically as well as emotionally. Never mind the emotional risks of trying to help people fight the monster of addiction – that I could understand and deal with. It came with the territory. Addiction is a vampire. There was always the Serenity Prayer and I used it often.

During those last five years on the job, I often told myself, “I’m not going to let this job kill me.” That’s a little more positive for a one liner.

I am thankful to be free, is even better.

Being in a relationship with an emotional vampire who is a person can also suck the life out of you. It can be subtle at first, and sometimes it’s obvious. Maybe the person has unreasonable demands on your time. Maybe he or she talks constantly or yells a lot. Maybe he or she is narcistic and manipulative.

If you find yourself stuck in a life sucking relationship, here are some ways to take care of yourself and save your own life:

  1. Clarify your boundaries. First do this by yourself or with a trusted friend who is not a life sucker. Put your boundaries in writing. This is as much for yourself as anyone else.
  2. Be assertive. State what you want and need. Be specific: “I need an afternoon to work on my art by myself.” or “I’ve been listening to you for a ___ minutes. I need you to (or will you please) listen to me without interrupting for ___ minutes,” or “I don’t take calls or texts between 11pm and 9am.” If you don’t feel safe being assertive, focus on 3, 4, and 5 below:
  3. Self care: Surround yourself with safe, nurturing people and/or pets. Engage in activities that add positive energy and comfort to your life. Take care of yourself in every way you can physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Believe that your health and time are valuable.
  4. Create Distance from the vampire. This could mean making a plan to leave. It could mean actually walking away from the relationship. But it could also mean limiting the amount of time you spend with the person or how much you think them. I had to make myself stop thinking about my job when I was home by using mindfulness and positive distraction.
  5. Be safe. Develop a support network and let a trusted person know your situation. If you are in a domestic violence situation, and don’t feel safe physically or emotionally, make a safety plan. Here is just one example.

Just Jot January and One-liner Wednesday is hosted by Linda Hill. For details, visit:

One-Liner Wednesday/JusJoJan the 27th, 2021 – Vampires | (lindaghill.com)


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Good News Tuesday for Jan. 26, 2021: Protecting Women in Iran, Honoring a Capitol Protector, UK Sustainability Work, US Rejoins Paris Agreement, and Awarding a Fun Design on the Border Wall

Seeking Balance One Tuesday at a Time

Iran Moves Forward with Bill to Protect Women from Domestic Violence

Iran’s executive branch just passed a bill called the Protection, Dignity and Security of Women Against Violence which will help protect Iranian women against violence including any act that “…inflicts harm to their body, psyche, personality and dignity, or restricts or deprives them of legal rights and freedoms.” The bill will now go before the parliament then to “a judicial and religious entity called the Guardian Council.” Read more from The Good News Network.

Honors for Capitol Police Officer Eugene Goodman

Eugene Goodman, the officer who helped defend the US Capitol from the January 6 attack and diverted rioters away from lawmakers, escorted Vice President Kamala Harris to the inauguration. Officer Goodman was made an honorary Deputy Sergeant at Arms for Inauguration, and a bill has been introduced to honor him with the Congressional Gold Medal. I hope you will read more and watch related clips from Good Morning America.

UK Prioritizes Climate Change Solutions

“The UK government has announced it will commit at least £3 billion (US $4 billion) to climate change solutions in developing countries.” The money will be used to protect biodiverse ecosystems and support moving to sustainable food production. This article from the Good News Network reports other ways the UK is prioritizing solutions for sustainability.

US Rejoins Paris Climate Accord

President Joe Biden signed an executive order for the United States to rejoin the Paris climate agreement, the largest international effort to curb global warming. Here’s more from NPR. President Biden also signed executive orders to fight the coronavirus including establishing a testing board and mandating masks in airports.

Teeter-Totters at the US-Mexico Border Wall Win Prestigious Design Award

The teeter totter designed by California-based architects Ronald Rael and Virigina San Fratello, won the 2020 Beazley Design of the Year, run by London’s Design Museum. The pink teeter-totter built into the US – Mexico border wall, shows how what happens on one side affects the other. You can read more from CNN and watch the video. This article contains fun photos and additional video.

Got good news?

Please share in the comments!

It can be global, local, or personal.

I offer this good news as part of Just Jot January. For more jottings, and a happy ending to her story about Lavender, visit: #JusJoJan prompt the 26th – “Shutter” | (lindaghill.com)


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Good News Tuesday for Dec. 1, 2020: Alternative Arthritis Treatment, Free Moves to Safety, Indigenous Owned Solar Farm, and a High School Grocery Store

Seeking Balance One Tuesday at a Time

New Treatment for Arthritis

A study presented at the annual meeting of the Radiological Society of North America presented a significant reduction in pain for patients with moderate to severe arthritis. The procedure involves “a low-grade current known as radiofrequency that ‘stuns’ (the specific nerve site) slowing the transmission of pain to the brain.” This article from the Good News Network gives a good overview.

Free Moves for Victims of Domestic Violence Leaving Unsafe Homes

College Hunks Hauling Junk recently announced the company will move domestic violence victims referred by agencies at no cost. You can read more about this awesome company and how they were inspired by another moving company in this article from GNN.

Indigenous Owned Solar Farm Opens in Alberta Canada

“Canada’s largest indigenous-owned solar farm has just been opened in the Northern Alberta community of Fort Chipewyan.” Here’s the story from GNN

Grocery Store in a Texas High School

A high school in Texas turned an extra classroom into a grocery store. The store does not accept cash. Instead, students earn points for positive work done in the community and helping with chores and clean up in the classroom and around campus.

Got good news?

Whether it’s global, local, or personal,
Please share it in the comments!


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Good News Tuesday: Notes on a Bridge, Paid Leave for NZ Domestic Violence Victims, and Help with Yard Work in Miami

18 year old Paige Hunter has saved lives by leaving notes of hope on the Wearmouth Bridge in Sunderland, UK.

 

New Zealand votes to allow paid domestic violence leave to help victims seek safety. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/jul/26/new-zealand-paid-domestic-violence-leave-jan-logie

 

Instead of a citation, this man gets help with his overgrown yard:

There’s a lot of good news happening all over the world. Spread the word and bring balance.

Sunflower w address