Anything is Possible!

With Faith, Hope and Perseverance


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How to Heal a Broken Heart

How to heal from a broken heart

This is exactly what I learned to do after my divorce. It took time. There was all that grief to work through, a codependent relapse or two, and a great deal of questioning.

But in time, I found me again. I put my love into the constants that had always been there for me: God, dogs, nature, painting, writing, singing, swimming, and family. I explored new interests like drumming, improvisational dance, and kayaking. I bought myself flowers and encouraging cards. Slowly but surely, I healed. In some ways, the healing was like coming home. In other ways, it was like a mid-life adolescence but with a little more wisdom and growing self-love.

What are the constants in your life that can support you through hard times?

What else can help heal a broken heart?

back cover painting (2)

My back cover painting for Trust the Timing


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Call Me When You’re Sober.

Song Lyric Sunday

Today’s theme for Song Lyric Sunday was to post a song about alcohol. I wasn’t sure if I could offer anything since I don’t drink anymore having already done my share. But then I remembered this song by Evanescence. (One of the benefits of having a teenage daughter during the post-divorce years was being exposed to cool bands.)  “Call Me When You’re Sober,” written by Amy Lee and Terry Balsam, was one of my healing songs after the rebound from hell and reinforced my right to set boundaries and keep myself safe.

Don’t cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

Should I let you fall?
Lose it all?
So maybe you can remember yourself.
Can’t keep believing,
We’re only deceiving ourselves .
And I’m sick of the lie,
And you’re too late.

Don’t cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

Couldn’t take the blame.
Sick with shame.
Must be exhausting to lose your own game.
Selfishly hated,
No wonder you’re jaded.
You can’t play the victim this time,
And you’re too late.

Don’t cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

You never call me when you’re sober.
You only want it cause it’s over,
It’s over.

How could I have burned paradise?
How could I – you were never mine.

So don’t cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
Don’t lie to me,
Just get your things.
I’ve made up your mind.

(From azlyrics.com)

 

 

Song lyric Sunday is brought to you by Helen at:

https://helenswordsoflife.com/2017/06/10/song-lyric-sunday-theme-for-61117/


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Like an Adolescent Girl Approaching Menopause

Song Lyric Sunday

It was years ago, after the rebound from hell, after stumbling around in purgatory, as I entered my unintenional five years of celibacy, that I was crazy about the girl band, Superchick. Their style was aimed at adolescent girls and had subtle Christian undertones. That must have been what I needed back in those post-divorce years. In some ways, I was like a adolescent girl, approaching menopause, trying to find myself again.

“Beauty for Pain” in particular helped pull me out of darkness and gave me hope.

The chorus is my favorite part:

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I’ve cried my last, there’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today, someday I’ll hope again
And there’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Today’s theme for Song Lyric Sunday was, “pain.” For more information, visit Helen at:

https://helenespinosa.wordpress.com/2017/04/22/song-lyric-sunday-theme-for-42317/


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Lesson Learned – One-Liner Wednesday

“If it don’t fit, don’t force it.”

I learned this lesson from my two post-divorce rebounds. It took long enough! The first one, the “rebound from hell,” lasted a year, which was a year too long. The second rebound lasted three years and was not hellish, though it did feel like purgatory in the end. At least I was making progress. Five years of celibacy taught me that it was entirely possible to be happy without a man in my life and helped me accept that I could be the love of my life. Then, I got the surprise of my life!

1linerwedsbadgewes

One-liner Wednesday is brought to us by Linda Hill. You can read more one-liners and see Linda’s pretty new colors at:

https://lindaghill.com/2017/04/12/one-liner-wednesday-colour-my-world/

Here are the One-Liner Wednesday rules which I sometimes follow:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

 


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Sometimes We Just Need to Be Held

Song Lyric Sunday

Two songs came to me in response to today’s theme: Healing

At the turn of the century, I thought my world was falling apart. But time gave me a different perspective. “Just Be Held,” by Casting Crowns, affirmed, years later, that  God had taken the divorce that brought me to my knees and replaced it with  a miracle beyond my wildest dreams.

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you’re tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There’s freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You’ll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You’ll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you’ll understand
I’m painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you’ll find Me
And where you are, I’ll hold your heart
I’ll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won’t let go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
(Stop holding on and just be held)
Just be held, just be held
Just be held, just be held

 

Natalie Grant sings, “Held,” a powerful song about being held through the devastating loss of a child. The song is written by Christa Nichole. Listening will convey the power and love best with this one:

 

Song Lyric Sunday is brought to us by Helen at:

https://helenespinosa.wordpress.com/2017/03/25/song-lyric-sunday-theme-for-32617/


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A Letter to My Divorced Self in 2001

I commented on Oneta’s post, Graduation Day, that it made me think about what I’d like to say to my younger self and what my older self might want to say to me, now. Oneta encouraged me to write about it, so I’m going to take that one step at a time. This first step takes us back about 16 years. In some ways, it seems like yesterday, and in some ways, it was a lifetime ago.

broken heart from pixabay

Dear JoAnna,

I don’t know how you will get this letter, or if you will, but I’m writing it anyway. I’m hoping you will get this when you need it most, when you are newly divorced and feeling abandoned.

I know this is harder than anything you have ever dealt with, that you never expected to have the rug pulled out from under you like this. I know it hurts like hell.

But here are some things I want you to know for sure:

You are loved and cherished deeply, profoundly, and forever by the one who created you, the one who will never leave you, the one who will help you heal.

You will heal. The pain will get easier and your mood will lighten. It will take time – longer than you think it should, but you will feel peace and joy.

You are beautiful, valuable, smart, and kind.

You are a woman of integrity and truth.

You are strong, stronger than you think. But it’s still okay to cry.

You have a purpose. More than one purpose in fact, and the world needs you well, so taking care of yourself, loving yourself well, is good for the world.

You are whole. You do not need any other human to complete you.

Focus on the constants of your life that have always been there for you. The people who have always had your back and the things that bring you joy, peace  and comfort like  music, art, writing, and nature.

Know with certainty that God has a plan, a plan more wonderful than you can imagine. Trust the timing.

If you want a peek at God’s plan, read about my Work In Progress 


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Four Years Ago…

afterglow-3

December 1, 2012

 

I never would have imagined that at the age of 56, after twenty years of marriage and the unexpected divorce that brought me to my knees, after the rebound from hell followed by the rebound from purgatory, and after five years of celibacy when I almost gave up on romance, that I would end up marrying the love of my life.

God had a plan all along. We just had to be ready. Not perfect, just ready to work on our stuff together.

Never give up.

You never know

what wonderful surprises

are waiting right around the corner!