Anything is Possible!

With Faith, Hope and Perseverance


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Like an Adolescent Girl Approaching Menopause

Song Lyric Sunday

It was years ago, after the rebound from hell, after stumbling around in purgatory, as I entered my unintenional five years of celibacy, that I was crazy about the girl band, Superchick. Their style was aimed at adolescent girls and had subtle Christian undertones. That must have been what I needed back in those post-divorce years. In some ways, I was like a adolescent girl, approaching menopause, trying to find myself again.

“Beauty for Pain” in particular helped pull me out of darkness and gave me hope.

The chorus is my favorite part:

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I’ve cried my last, there’ll be beauty from pain
Though it won’t be today, someday I’ll hope again
And there’ll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Today’s theme for Song Lyric Sunday was, “pain.” For more information, visit Helen at:

https://helenespinosa.wordpress.com/2017/04/22/song-lyric-sunday-theme-for-42317/


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Lesson Learned – One-Liner Wednesday

“If it don’t fit, don’t force it.”

I learned this lesson from my two post-divorce rebounds. It took long enough! The first one, the “rebound from hell,” lasted a year, which was a year too long. The second rebound lasted three years and was not hellish, though it did feel like purgatory in the end. At least I was making progress. Five years of celibacy taught me that it was entirely possible to be happy without a man in my life and helped me accept that I could be the love of my life. Then, I got the surprise of my life!

1linerwedsbadgewes

One-liner Wednesday is brought to us by Linda Hill. You can read more one-liners and see Linda’s pretty new colors at:

https://lindaghill.com/2017/04/12/one-liner-wednesday-colour-my-world/

Here are the One-Liner Wednesday rules which I sometimes follow:

1. Make it one sentence.

2. Try to make it either funny or inspirational.

3. Use our unique tag #1linerWeds.

4. Add our very cool badge to your post for extra exposure!

5. Have fun!

 


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Sometimes We Just Need to Be Held

Song Lyric Sunday

Two songs came to me in response to today’s theme: Healing

At the turn of the century, I thought my world was falling apart. But time gave me a different perspective. “Just Be Held,” by Casting Crowns, affirmed, years later, that  God had taken the divorce that brought me to my knees and replaced it with  a miracle beyond my wildest dreams.

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you’re tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There’s freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You’ll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You’ll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you’ll understand
I’m painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you’ll find Me
And where you are, I’ll hold your heart
I’ll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who won’t let go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away
You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place
I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
(Stop holding on and just be held)
Just be held, just be held
Just be held, just be held

 

Natalie Grant sings, “Held,” a powerful song about being held through the devastating loss of a child. The song is written by Christa Nichole. Listening will convey the power and love best with this one:

 

Song Lyric Sunday is brought to us by Helen at:

https://helenespinosa.wordpress.com/2017/03/25/song-lyric-sunday-theme-for-32617/


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A Letter to My Divorced Self in 2001

I commented on Oneta’s post, Graduation Day, that it made me think about what I’d like to say to my younger self and what my older self might want to say to me, now. Oneta encouraged me to write about it, so I’m going to take that one step at a time. This first step takes us back about 16 years. In some ways, it seems like yesterday, and in some ways, it was a lifetime ago.

broken heart from pixabay

Dear JoAnna,

I don’t know how you will get this letter, or if you will, but I’m writing it anyway. I’m hoping you will get this when you need it most, when you are newly divorced and feeling abandoned.

I know this is harder than anything you have ever dealt with, that you never expected to have the rug pulled out from under you like this. I know it hurts like hell.

But here are some things I want you to know for sure:

You are loved and cherished deeply, profoundly, and forever by the one who created you, the one who will never leave you, the one who will help you heal.

You will heal. The pain will get easier and your mood will lighten. It will take time – longer than you think it should, but you will feel peace and joy.

You are beautiful, valuable, smart, and kind.

You are a woman of integrity and truth.

You are strong, stronger than you think. But it’s still okay to cry.

You have a purpose. More than one purpose in fact, and the world needs you well, so taking care of yourself, loving yourself well, is good for the world.

You are whole. You do not need any other human to complete you.

Focus on the constants of your life that have always been there for you. The people who have always had your back and the things that bring you joy, peace  and comfort like  music, art, writing, and nature.

Know with certainty that God has a plan, a plan more wonderful than you can imagine. Trust the timing.

If you want a peek at God’s plan, read about my Work In Progress 


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Four Years Ago…

afterglow-3

December 1, 2012

 

I never would have imagined that at the age of 56, after twenty years of marriage and the unexpected divorce that brought me to my knees, after the rebound from hell followed by the rebound from purgatory, and after five years of celibacy when I almost gave up on romance, that I would end up marrying the love of my life.

God had a plan all along. We just had to be ready. Not perfect, just ready to work on our stuff together.

Never give up.

You never know

what wonderful surprises

are waiting right around the corner!

 


8 Comments

Being Strong

Tree roots walking

“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.” Bob Marley

I discovered this quote at Behind the White Coat: https://doctorly.wordpress.com/2016/07/27/%e2%80%8bwho-knew-a-broken-blue-sky/ 

I like that Bob Marley quote. But I believe we always have a choice. There are many times when I’ve felt like I had to be strong, like for my kids after the divorce. I could have fallen apart, but I didn’t, at least not in front of the kids. I didn’t give up because I had a responsibility to my children. And I didn’t want to hurt my parents.

Deep down, I knew there was the possibility that things could better though I did not know how.

I could have been stronger and not gotten involved in that rebound from hell, but in my grief, I made some poor choices. There were may points of choice along the way. Ultimately, thankfully, I made better choices.

Recognizing that we choose to be strong, even when we think we have no choice, is a way of giving ourselves credit for not giving up, affirming our strength.

Being strong often means asking for help from people who have our best interests in mind, those who will build us up with love. I’ve read that trees with roots entwined with other trees are stronger in storms, that trees help each other.

sugar-loaf-back-hill

Carolina Beach State Park

In October, I went hiking in the mountains with my son who is now 30. The trail was “moderately strenuous” with plenty of steep elevations changes.

“This is kinda scary,” I said at one point trying to figure out where to put my feet to walk across a curved rock next to a steep bank. If I made the wrong step, I might have fallen down into the rocky creek.

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A Beech Mountain Trail

I believe I could have eventually traversed the rock by myself if I’d had to. But I didn’t have to. I asked for my son’s  hand. He reached out giving me the courage to step onto the rock.  I felt his strength as I crossed over. What a strange feeling to know he is physically stronger than me.  I’d love to know he is becoming wiser than me… maybe in another 30 years.

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This is part of the trail. The tree roots are growing on the rock I crossed over to the left.

Sometimes it feels like things are falling apart. We wonder how things got to this point of scariness. It feels like chaos. In these times, we need to reach out for help. We need to support each other.  And we need to remember the things that make us stronger.

If I had read Lisa’s list of “Ten empowering thoughts to hold on to when it’s all falling apart” 15 years ago, I would have taped them on my refrigerator, and my bathroom mirror, and my bedroom mirror.

Believing that things could get better, focusing on the constants in my life, and surrounding myself with loving, caring people helped me continue to put one foot in front of the other, to find a path out of the darkness.

And things did get better in time. Better than I would have ever imagined.

Dave and Doodle on bridge

 

Because God can write straight with lines that don’t look straight at all.

good sunset

 


12 Comments

Maybe

SOC badge with butterfly

Maybe everything will turn out okay. Maybe even better than okay. After all, look what happened to my love life that was in the toilet at the beginning of this century. And now, things have turned out better than okay.

Back when I was newly divorced, then in the sick rebound, then in the not as sick rebound, then lonely and wondering if I should just give up on romance, I had to work hard to imagine that maybe things would be okay or even better.

But imagine I did.

I’m good at imagining the worst, or the drudgery of a life of a life of drudgery. Correction: I WAS good at that. Whatever we practice, we get better at. I’ve gotten better at imagining good things happening, because look what’s happened! Not only has the man of my dreams come back to me at the perfect time, but he’s empowered me to pursue my creative soul’s desires!

Yet, I still have to work at imagining that maybe things will turn out great for my grown children, especially my baby girl. I guess I had a lot of practice worrying as a mom. Too much worrying. It helps to remember what I was like in my early 20s. I got side tracked by my emotions just like she has a tendency to do. I floundered as to my direction and career goals. I didn’t know just how to get back on course. But, eventually, I figured it out and went back to college. She is not me, so she might not go back to college. But maybe things will work out okay. Probably things will work out okay.

Maybe they will work out even better than okay.

Maybe we can slow the damage we are doing to our planet.

Maybe we can reverse the damage we’ve done.

Maybe we can learn to live in peace, at least more peace.

Maybe there is hope for each and every one of us.

Maybe imagining things working out better than we imagined can improve out chances, especially if we take steps in the direction of our hopes and dreams.

Maybe it will take more time than we imagined, but maybe that time is what we need to grow up.

Maybe the human race will grow up before we destroy ourselves.

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 Our Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday was: “mb.” We were instructed to “find a word that has those two letters in it, in that order,”and base our post on it. We were also instructed, by our fearless leader of SOC prompts, to have fun!

If you’d like to give it a go, visit Linda by clicking this link:

https://lindaghill.com/2016/06/10/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-june-1116/

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!