From Star Trek: Picard, episode 10
Imagine the possibilities! Give equal or more time to the good ones.
For more one-liners, and guidelines, visit our host, Linda Hill, at:
“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.” Bob Marley
I discovered this quote at Behind the White Coat: https://doctorly.wordpress.com/2016/07/27/%e2%80%8bwho-knew-a-broken-blue-sky/
I like that Bob Marley quote. But I believe we always have a choice. There are many times when I’ve felt like I had to be strong, like for my kids after the divorce. I could have fallen apart, but I didn’t, at least not in front of the kids. I didn’t give up because I had a responsibility to my children. And I didn’t want to hurt my parents.
Deep down, I knew there was the possibility that things could better though I did not know how.
I could have been stronger and not gotten involved in that rebound from hell, but in my grief, I made some poor choices. There were may points of choice along the way. Ultimately, thankfully, I made better choices.
Recognizing that we choose to be strong, even when we think we have no choice, is a way of giving ourselves credit for not giving up, affirming our strength.
Being strong often means asking for help from people who have our best interests in mind, those who will build us up with love. I’ve read that trees with roots entwined with other trees are stronger in storms, that trees help each other.
Carolina Beach State Park
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In October, I went hiking in the mountains with my son who is now 30. The trail was “moderately strenuous” with plenty of steep elevations changes.
“This is kinda scary,” I said at one point trying to figure out where to put my feet to walk across a curved rock next to a steep bank. If I made the wrong step, I might have fallen down into the rocky creek.
A Beech Mountain Trail
I believe I could have eventually traversed the rock by myself if I’d had to. But I didn’t have to. I asked for my son’s hand. He reached out giving me the courage to step onto the rock. I felt his strength as I crossed over. What a strange feeling to know he is physically stronger than me. I’d love to know he is becoming wiser than me… maybe in another 30 years.
This is part of the trail. The tree roots are growing on the rock I crossed over to the left.
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Sometimes it feels like things are falling apart. We wonder how things got to this point of scariness. It feels like chaos. In these times, we need to reach out for help. We need to support each other. And we need to remember the things that make us stronger.
If I had read Lisa’s list of “Ten empowering thoughts to hold on to when it’s all falling apart” 15 years ago, I would have taped them on my refrigerator, and my bathroom mirror, and my bedroom mirror.
Believing that things could get better, focusing on the constants in my life, and surrounding myself with loving, caring people helped me continue to put one foot in front of the other, to find a path out of the darkness.
And things did get better in time. Better than I would have ever imagined.
Because God can write straight with lines that don’t look straight at all.
“I believe that life is basically a process of growth- that we go through many lives, choosing those situations and problems that we will learn through.” Jim Henson
I found this quote from Jim Henson in It’s Not Easy Being Green. I had no idea until I picked up this little treasure for my grand kids just how wise the Muppet Man was. The book turns out to be full of inspiration for adults. The quote above struck me right between the eyes and down into my heart. I have often felt like I’ve gone through many lives since I as born. My life now seems so different from my childhood and so different from other times in my adulthood – the young adult exploratory phase, the early parenting years, the divorce and rebound wreckage, the years of finding myself again and now….well, now there is this whole new second chance at love with exciting possibilities to return to the things I loved in my youth.
Did I have to go through all those learning experiences to get here? Probably… Yes. All those choices and experiences brought me to this point and help me appreciate the gifts of the present.
Do we really choose (consciously or otherwise) the situations and problems we will learn from?
Certainly there are situations we learn from that we don’t choose. When some one dies, we learn how to cope and work through grief, but we don’t choose to be separated from a loved one by death. We can however, in the long run, choose how we cope. Are there problems that we choose in order to learn what we need to learn? That might explain why I chose after my divorce to enter into a relationship with someone dangerously different from my previous partner. I stayed in that first unhealthy rebound for about a year. In hindsight, I’ve thought it was a year too long. Did I stay long enough to learn what I needed to learn? To learn what I don’t want? That I deserved better?
Do we stay in jobs until we learn what we need to be able to move on? After a few years as a substance abuse counselor, I never thought I’d stay in the addiction field for 30 years. But something kept me at this job. Was it security? Were there things I needed to learn? It certainly taught me to be assertive. And this job played a big part in bringing me back to a loving Power greater than myself that could restore me to sanity.
This job I’ve had for 30 years brought me to God. The divorce and dangerous rebound brought me ever closer the one who would never leave me. God and the universe (God through the universe) can choose to put people or situations in our path to help us. Or test us. (Oh, great, another test!) Or to open our eyes to a new path. Or maybe God assigns us to a post because the work needs to be done, and we are the best person for the job. Maybe it’s all of the above.
I believe, like Wayne Dyer said, that God and the universe conspire with us to help us learn what we need to learn. It might take one year or it might take 30 years. But we always have a choice to jump in and test the waters or walk away because maybe we’re not ready to learn that one yet.
Or maybe walking away is what we needed to learn.
Anything is Possible! 