SoCS: The Power of Zero, Cat Stevens, and a “Submerged Object”

 The prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “zip, zero, zilch.” Use one, use ’em all, bonus points if you use all three. Have fun!

Zero is the number of romantic partners I had in the second half of the decade after my divorce. Five years doesn’t seem like such a long time now to be celibate or anything else. In the big picture, five years is not a long time when you have an abundance, a few quality friendships, dogs, and work to do on yourself. I had a romantic relationship with myself and with nature, and spiritual growth that required zero romantic distraction from other people. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time it was happening. There is power in zero, in solitude, in simplicity. Not to say my life was simple by any means.

One is not always the loneliest number, and zero doesn’t necessarily mean zilch. If you add zeros to a number, it increases the value.

Dave at Daily Ramblings shared a short Ted Talk on the origins of the number zero which started as a dot. It got me thinking of the old Cat Stevens/Yusuf album, Numbers, A Pythagorean Fairy Tale, which came out in 1975. The songs sort of told the story of the numbers one through nine and how everything changed when this new dude showed up named, Jzero. I listened to this album a lot in the second half of the decade that was the 70s. It was a confused time of my life when I kept getting distracted from college and from myself. My romantic partners during that time were distractions. I often felt lost or lost my sense of myself.

One of my favorite songs from the Numbers album was, “Drywood.” Part of it went something like,

“Like drywood takes to fire, the truth will come to you.

Like streams that seek the ocean, you will find ways through,

Like morning meets the moon, my love will guide the way.

It’s time to wipe your eyes now, and awake…..”

The song provided encouragement I needed and still holds a special place of gratitude in my heart.

Another of my favorite songs from the album was, “Home.” It’s a sweet song. Here’s an older Cat Stevens, aka, Yusuf, singing it. At the end he whispers, “Peace be with you.”

Well, time to zip up this post. Right after I add a few photos from the beach… Oh, there’s a video at the bottom.

“DANGER SUBMERGED OBJECT”

A submerged rock ?

A chunk of the jetty maybe?

~~~

For more streams of consciousness, rules, and such, visit our dedicated host, Linda Hill, by clicking HERE.

Still Loved, Even When I’m Not Still

---

I’ve been crazy busy lately. That’s nothing new. But busier now than usual.

The Blessing of the Animals, originally scheduled on October 4 to honor St. Francis, was postponed because of the flooding, until this Sunday. That’s tomorrow, after church at the park. This morning we have church grounds clean up, and tonight we’re having a “Poor Man’s Supper,” to raise money for our stained glass window restoration. The menu includes fried baloney, cornbread, cabbage….I’m bringing vegetarian beans.  Also, I’m trying to paint one of the bedrooms in my house this weekend. Yikes!

I remember the passage from the Bible that says, “Be Still and Know that I am God.”  It’s from Psalm 46. It is reminding me to breathe right now, when I don’t think I have time to be still and breathe.

I think some music will help.  When I read the prompt for today: the word, still, I also remembered this old song. I never really knew all the words to it, but it’s one of those songs that feels good to me. It came out when I was one year old, so I’m guessing I heard it a lot when I was too young to consciously remember it, until I heard it later….. but its one of those things that imprinted on my brain. It’s a love song, but if I heard it during my celibate/working on me time, in my late forties, I could have sung it to God too. I might have imagined God singing it to me. Because in the still of the night, God loved me. In the still of that lonely night, I knew I was loved. That is what saved me, until I could love myself. I’m still standing. I’m still working on me. And I’m still loved. So are you!

I think I might paint one wall of that bedroom this weekend. That’s enough. Still time to paint the rest later. One wall at a time.

 

Today’s Stream of Consciousness post prompt was  the word, “still.”

If you’d like to jump into the stream, start here:

http://lindaghill.com/2015/10/16/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-oct-1715/

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!

First Love

---

I met my first love in the fall of 1971, when I was 16 years old. I felt like my heart would break when he had to move 700 miles back to Connecticut with his family. A lady I babysat for told me that if we were meant to be together, we would be. That helped.

As broken hearted as I was over my first boyfriend moving, after we’d only gone steady for about 7 months, suicide never seriously crossed my mind.

The first time I thought about suicide was in my early twenties. I thought about walking out in front of a truck. It had to do with the break up with another boyfriend, and not knowing what I was going to do with my life. ….But my younger sister had been killed by a drunk driver and that hurt my parents so much, I could not hurt them in that way. They didn’t deserve that much pain….

It’s a darn good thing I didn’t kill myself! Because I would have missed out on many joys and adventures.  Countless joys, and countable sorrows that helped me learn and grow.  I was happily married for many years, gave birth to two extraordinary children, climbed mountains, swam in the ocean, laughed and danced and learned to play the guitar and sing…..

When my 20 year marriage ended,  I was depressed. A counselor asked me if I had thoughts of suicide. I told her I could never consider doing that to my children and my parents. I just wanted the pain to stop.  So I got into a sick, addictive relationship. I didn’t know it was sick and addictive at first, but being vulnerable, at a low, low point in my life, it was pretty bad. Thankfully it only lasted a year. Which was a year too long.

The second post divorce relationship I got into was better, but definitely not “the one.” By the third year in that second relationship, I realized that I was never really able to relax with the man.

The third time was a charm. I’d been single and celibate for 5 years, working on me, when my first boyfriend found me again (39 years later) when the time was perfect!

The second, first time I saw him, my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest with joy. Our second, first date was magic! When my nose drifted to his neck and inhaled his natural scent, I felt intoxicated. My brain had imprinted the natural smell of my first love all those years ago. I still adore his subtle, almost imperceptible scent.

You never know what plans God had in store for you.

Don’t ever give up. Miracles happen!

Today’s Stream of Consciousness post prompt was  to use an ordinal number, like first, second, third, ……

If you’d like to jump into the stream, start here:

http://lindaghill.com/2014/09/26/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-september-2714/

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!