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I’d Rather Be Positive, But Don’t Tell Me What To Do. YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME.

SOC winner 2017

Years ago, I went to a workshop where we make booklets about things we wanted to manifest in our lives. We were instructed to state everything positively. I also used this a lot in my counseling job and had read about it in a book on NLP,  Neurolinguistic programing, which is more complicated than positive language. One example in the book was that instead of saying, “Don’t spill the milk,” make a positive statement like, “Be careful and move your milk away from the table.” The idea was/is that people, especially children, will not hear, “don’t,” as much as they will hear “spill the milk.”

I wonder if my clients got tired of me asking them to restate negative statements as positives. Well, it got to be a thing with me.  Here are some examples:

“Don’t use drugs,” in other words, becomes, “stay clean and sober.”

“I don’t understand why anyone would not like dogs,” in other words, becomes, “help me understand why you don’t like dogs.”

“I don’t want to be around negative people,” becomes, “I want to be around positive people.”

When my husband and I started dating for the second time around, we asked each other about pet peeves. He wanted to know if there was something he could do that would really bug me, (so he could avoid doing it.) That’s how I remember it. But I probably asked him first. He was all about open and honest communication. So I told him:

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

In other words, “you’re not the boss of me.” But I didn’t say, “You’re not the boss of me.”  I wanted to say that to my previous two boyfriends, but never did. I guess that’s why “Don’t tell me what to do,” came out in our pre-marrital pet peeves discussion. I did not state it positively. If I had, I could have said,

  • “Let’s talk about options.”
  • “I’m the boss of me.”
  • “Ask me what I want.”
  • “Compromise and respect are important to me.”

But sometimes, you gotta say what you don’t want to be clear.

I just want to say, to someone, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME.”

My husband, being conscientious and having a good memory, has not given me that opportunity in the five years we’ve been married. That’s a good thing.

Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt was to use the phrase, “in other words,” anywhere in our post. For more SoCS info, visit Linda at:

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!