Here’s something different for a Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt: The word is, “want.” Make the word “want” the first, second, or third word of your post. Have fun!
I didn’t want to want a man in my life.
The divorce had strangled my heart – figuratively, and acid reflux made me think I was having a heart attack. The rebound from hell should have made me swear off romantic relationships. Rebound number 2 was better, but still stressful. I couldn’t relax with him, even after three years. Men were too much stress. The little bit of romance and security was not worth the headaches and stomach aches.
So I asked God to take away the desire for a partner. Then, as an afterthought, I said, “or send me a good one.”
And eventually, when the time was right, God did just that. (God didn’t take away the desire, though I relaxed a bit just turning it over.) God sent me a good one. Not perfect, but maybe perfect for me – allowing me to work on my issues and him to work on his issues, and the little bit of (normal) stress is totally worth the abundance of security and compatibility.
The long version is my memoir, Trust the Timing. But I’m also working on a short version, called From Loneliness to Love, Five Steps for Finding a Healthy Relationship. It’s almost ready for publication. Just when I think I’ve got it all lined up, there’s a formatting issue that pops up between the uploading and the proofing. I guess I need to keep plugging away and trust the timing.
I want it to all fall into place, which happens occasionally, though not as often as I want. A friend of mine told me, “If it don’t fit, don’t force it.” If you want something really bad and it’s not happening, don’t force it. Don’t give up, but try something a little different, take a break, take up a hobby. If it’s meant to happen, it will.
When David was 15 and moved far away, the lady I babysat for told me, “If you are meant to be together, you will be.” It stopped my tears and gave me hope. Life went on and on. David became a sweet but distant memory. Then, 39 years after we said goodbye in 1972, he found me again. Now he is my life partner. The good one. Not forced, but falling into place.
We are all waiting to see what will happen in the world and in our lives. But we are not alone and never were.
Don’t force it. Trust the timing.
I’m still learning that one.
This is for all the lonely people.
For more Streams of Consciousness, visit our host, Linda Hill at:
Here are the rules:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. I will post the prompt here on my blog every Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The,’” or will simply be a single word to get you started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read all of them! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later or go to the previous week by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
8. Have fun!