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SoCS: My Deep Dark (Blue) Secret



Directions: Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “abash/a bash/bash.” Use “abash,” or “bash” as a noun or a verb. Bonus points if you manage all three. Have fun!

I was going to write that I don’t like to bash anybody, but then I realized that I do sometimes bash the mainstream media for not so much bashing but putting a spotlight on those who do bash. Oh how they love the bashing. Am I bashing them? The mainstream media? I know they don’t do it all the time, cause I go hunting for good news Tuesday. Just most of the time. They have this mistaken idea we want to see that bashing. It’s okay some of the time, but don’t make a bash out of it. That’s using the word to mean party. Where did that come from? Like a birthday bash.

It’s easy to see the connection between the word abash and bashful. There’s a shame/embarrassment factor in there. I was a bashful child. Not ashamed, but easily embarrassed and not wanting to draw attention to myself. I believe there’s a gene for this bashfulness trait. It can be overridden. In my first years of college I dabbled in drama – the class – but also some with the boyfriend, but let’s not go there. Taking acting class in college helped me become less bashful. I had to learn to project. It was fun! This helped me later in my career where I had to do some public speaking. I could still do it if I had to, but mostly I don’t have to, and I’d rather not.  Just like I’d rather not bash anybody’s head in. No. I wouldn’t. I swear I wouldn’t. Why do I feel the need to repeat that? Is there a hidden desire…. NO! NO! NO! We do not bash heads!

What would I like to bash? OMG. I’m scaring myself. The Stream of Consciousness is treacherous. I’m a PACIFIST. Maybe I’ve been watching too many cop shows. There, the cats’s out of the bag. Not just any cop shows. Not COPS. No way. But NCIS, and lately, I’ve gotten addicted to Blue Bloods reruns. Never woulda believed it. Anyway, it’s made me want to take a self-defense course. This is my deep dark secret. Blue Bloods. I’m going to stop now before I reveal any more secrets. Damn you, Stream of Consciousness. Now look what you’ve gone and made me do!  I don’t care. I’m not abashed at all.

In my senior year of college, the job placement person asked me if I’d be interested in being a cop. I quickly said no to this and that I wasn’t assertive enough. She said, “You could learn to be.” Were they desperate for lady cops? Anyway, becoming an addictions counselor I had to learn to be assertive. Now, I wonder what it would have been like to be a cop. That’s the way of TV drama as I watch Blue Bloods safe on my sofa.

Oh, in case you didn’t know, Blue Bloods is about a family of NY cops and the sister is an  assistant district attorney.  But I really only watch it for the cop romance and the philosophical debates at the Sunday dinner table.  It can be a serious show, so below is a “blooper reel.”

But first, I feel I need to mention that the suicide rate for US police officers is higher than the rate of line of duty deaths as reported in this Huffington Post Article.  Watching Blue Bloods has given me a better appreciation for the police and what they deal with. Yes, it’s just a TV show, but they try to present multiple sides.


For more about SoCS, visit Linda at

But be warned. You never know what will be revealed in the stream.

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing (typos can be fixed), and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. I will post the prompt here on my blog every Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The,’” or will simply be a single word to get you started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read all of them! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later or go to the previous week by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!

Author: JoAnna

An open minded, tree-hugging Jesus follower, former counselor, and life-long lover of animals, I'm returning to my creative roots and have published my first book: Trust the Timing, A Memoir of Finding Love Again as well as the short version: From Loneliness to Love.

35 thoughts on “SoCS: My Deep Dark (Blue) Secret

  1. Nice post! I’m not a pacifist, but I too get tired of the media highlighting other people’s fighting. I keep trying to hide stories about those ridiculous Kardashians and their feuds, but they never go away.

    • Either I don’t get the Kards or maybe my mind think my mind just glosses right over them. I see more political garbage. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Fun post, JoAnna – I only know you from your blog, you seem so kind, maybe there’s a tough side of you that I haven’t witnessed that could be a cop. I’ve never seen that show, sounds interesting. Hope you have a great Saturday!!

    • Thanks, Shelley. I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I have been tough when it was necessary, and though I’m out of practice, I can be tough if I have to. It’s not my natural state though so glad I don’t have to be. I hope you’re day is great too!

  3. I love the bit about dabbling in drama – well done. We sometimes get sucked into an episode of Blue bloods.. I do think the show is well done and tackles some serious issues. You can bash the media over the heard all you want. If I’m on your jury, you will walk away a free woman.

  4. We’ve only watched “Blue Bloods” a couple of times, but it seems like a pretty good show. Tom Selleck is another actor who’s just gotten better with age.

    As for the media, bash them once for me, will you?

    • Tom Selleck as the police commissioner has to deal with some really challenging issues. One of the things I like about his character is that he is very tough but also thoughtful and capable of great humility – a quality we need in leaders (and media.)

  5. Blue Bloods is one of my mom’s favorite shows. She has had a thing for Tom Selleck for years. About cops, yes, cops so often take a bashing, but when a person is in danger or distress who do they call? It’s a tough job, and some handle it better than others. As to the self-defense classes, it’s always a good idea, as there are some real creeps out there. At least carry pepper spray and keep yourself aware of your surroundings. Prevention is 9/10ths of the cure. I think you have dogs you walk with so that is a big plus as far as not being surprised.

  6. Love this post, JoAnna. It’s amazing the places that one word can take us–even to our secret places. I prefer to watch real life crime stories because they reveal the dark side of the human psyche and what we, both male and female, are capable of doing to fulfill our desires. We have such fragile minds.

    [When you wrote about bashing heads, I couldn’t help but think about the Pol Pot genocide and their preferred method of killing babies.]

    • Thanks for appreciating my thoughts. I guess we all have a dark side. Real life crime shows are too hard for me to watch, especially as I get older. I think I have too much imagination. But I can understand the value of knowing the truth.

    • Great minds…. 🙂 I love it!

      • I was a bit surprised but then thought back to some of our conversations and wasn’t too surprised. How is the “cleaning” process going at your folks? Any sursprise’s since the letters.

        • I’m making my way into the dark recesses of the attic. I”m not sure if I wrote that I found letters from Vietnam in addition to the ones to and from Cuba. Also papers on my parents’ parents who I barely knew. so that’s interesting. I know this: Books and papers do NOT hold up well stored in cardboard boxes for 30 years. Maybe by the end of this month I could be done, or at least close. Thanks for asking and caring!

          • Since the task of putting each piece in an archival sleeve, at minimum take all paper and books and buy archival boxes. That will help the breakdown and later you can go thru and put each piece you can salvage into individual archival sleeves or folders. You’re hitting the jackpot on family history.

            • Thank you! I’ll look into archival sleeves. Right now, I’m putting most documents in plastic sleeves in binders and photo albums. Also, my dad had about four or five trunks of various sizes. The letters I found in a trunk are in much better shape than the ones that were in cardboard box.

              • Keep in dark places when not using. . So fortunate to find in trunks! My grandmother kept all type of stories from the newspaper, man walks on moon, kennedy, the queslity was perfect. The cedar or lack of light and mositure will slow the degrading down. I self educated on archiving while doing the family trees. What a blessing to have the time to take in the emotion of your parents in their home. I had some of that the last few years with my gramps. I knew where everything was but had not taken every piece to soak in. I found holiday menues for the saliors, it included cigars and cigarettes! Which were a big deal. 🙂

  7. such a gentle bashing, JoAnna!
    it understandable that some
    are less skillful with their
    bloopers 🙂

  8. It is amazing how addictive the bashing can be. It sells, I think, or the media wouldn’t focus on it. But it is disappointing somehow. The story about your job placement discussion made me think of how we say no to things sometimes, and feel obligated to give a reason–like you’re noting your lack of assertiveness–and then how that only leads to the other party trying to solve that for us. Sometimes if we don’t want to do something, I think we just have to say no and not give a reason. Haha!


  9. Just want to say I watch Blue Bloods too. I think I like it cuz it’s always resolved by the end, and I like the characters and their development. And I get being bashful, for sure. But I’m learning to find my voice and let it be heard. Better late than never, right!!

    • Now you have even more wisdom to share with your brave voice. 🙂 I like the characters, too. And that they discuss alternative philosophies, even if my favorites are in the minority.

  10. I found this is my spam 😦
    I really liked this. Lots of people love Blue Bloods. Maybe one day I’ll get to it.
    I can actually imagine you being a cop. Not might makes right, but kindly and consistent and even keeled. I can imagine it. Of course, I prefer you writing and painting angels and sharing nature photos, but still, I can imagine it.

    • I can imagine it too. I’ve worked on painting three different community murals with a lady cop. I’m not sure what she does with the PD but I think it’s mostly community relations. One of the interesting things that’s different about Blue Bloods is they always end up at the Sunday dinner table and debate complicated issues. When it gets too tense, someone says, “Please pass the potatoes.” I’m usually on the side of the ones who went to law school, but the characters are multi dimensional over time.

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