Anything is Possible!

With Love, Hope, and Perseverance

Soulmates: Finding a Good Fit


puzzle pieces

Since I often use the word, soulmate, That Girl’s post: The Soulmate Phenomenon, grabbed my attention. It got me thinking about the word, “soulmate,” which can mean different things to different people. I never liked the expression, “my other half,” or “my better half.” I am not half a person. My soul was okay without a human partner,  especially having human and animal friends who loved me. Yet, at times, I did feel like something was missing. I considered that annoying void carefully.  If my soulmate was still out there, I didn’t want to get side tracked (again) by an impostor. I clarified what qualities my soulmate would have.

Here are some things I’ve learned about soulmates:

What is a soulmate? The word, soulmate sounds romantic, but for me, it goes beyond romance. It’s someone who is a good fit – not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. My soulmate is someone who nourishes my soul, my true self, the part of me that will live on into eternity. My soulmate was meant for me. He gets me.

Who Can it Be? Can we have more than one soulmate?  I believe so. I probably thought my first husband was my soulmate. At first we were a good fit. But in the twenty years we were married, we both changed and grew in different directions. I think I changed more than he did. He would probably agree, but I wouldn’t swear to it. My soul was pretty shaken when he left. After that, I had a much deeper appreciation for my friends. It’s possible that a close friend or relative  could be a soulmate.

When is he (or she) going to get here? A soulmate comes when we are ready. He or she may leave and come back again. The man I am now married to was my first love. We dated for less than a year, then he was gone – a sweet memory for 39 years – until the time was right. Though he says it would not have worked out when we were younger, we are clearly a good fit, now. He nourishes my soul. He feels like my soulmate. Maybe he’s my super soulmate.

Why Care? It’s different for everyone, but having a partner or close friend to share life with is a comfort, and in many cases, increases longevity, as long as that person is a good fit, someone who respects you and doesn’t add constant stress to your life. Being with someone who understands and nurtures us, improves the quality of life. Soulmates encourage healthy growth and well being in one another.

How to find one? In my April newsletter, I’ll be sharing about the five steps I took that helped my soulmate find me. Here’s the overview:

  • Clarify desires
  • Turn it over
  • Work on YOU
  • Focus on friendship
  • Imagine!

For details coming next week, sign up for my monthly newsletter at the sidebar on the right.

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What are your thoughts about soulmates?  Do you think we can have more than one?

Author: JoAnna

An open minded, tree-hugging Jesus follower, former counselor, and life-long lover of animals, I'm returning to my creative roots and have published my first book: Trust the Timing, A Memoir of Finding Love Again as well as the short version: From Loneliness to Love.

16 thoughts on “Soulmates: Finding a Good Fit

  1. I don’t really buy into the whole soulmate thing, but then, I am not romantic at all. You may recall my idea of romance is my husband taking a chainsaw to the mulberries? I’ve never had love at first sight, either, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a thing. Anyway, I do believe in kindred spirits, and so I think kindred spirits could include a lover or two… well, who am I to judge how many?
    If I have a soulmate, it’d be my husband’s sister, my friend for 30 years.
    I fell in love with my husband on accident. If you ask me how to find love, I will tell you to consider a position teaching English 5000 miles away… “The best laid plans of mice and men” so to speak. There was always chemistry, but it certainly didn’t start out like THIS *waves at everything*

    I have an old post about it — you are NOT obligated to read it, but it covers my thoughts on the topic.

    • Kindred spirits. I love that phrase. So much broader than soulmates! And I get the chainsaw thing, too. Looking forward to reading your post. Thanks, Joey!

    • Great post, Joey. I love what you wrote about knowing “plenty of real love, real marriage, which translates to real work for real bliss.” My relationship with my husband is like you and your husband’s sister in that we have very different personalities. He’s a high energy extrovert and I like peace and quiet. But we have many common interests and beliefs. Plus I give him all my onions and he does all the mechanical things.

  2. I always liked Liz Gilberts take on a soulmate. That a soulmate is usually someone who comes into your life to teach you a real life lesson, but Durant necessarily stay. She says, they would drive you crazy, lol.

    But there may be a trim flame thing, a theory advanced by Plato, in which our soul divides in two and we spend eternity trying to find each other again. When we do, we are not always in the same place or receptive to it. But if we should be so lucky to meet, and are both in the same place, it will be the most amazing thing ever.

    I guess we won’t know, until we pass from this life. But it’s fun to think about. Great post JoAnna!!! 🌻🌷

    • The Soulmate Phenonemon post that inspired me to write this referred to the twin flame theory. It’s interesting, and fits with my current sitation somewhat. I like Liz Gilbert’s life lesson idea even better. Thanks for reminding me about that. Plenty of food for thought. Glad you liked the post. 🙂

  3. I believe in a soulmate, the perfect person God created to complete our days. The person who has the same dreams, and asspirations. Who loves us despite our flaws. I am conflicted on the can we have just one. I am on my second marriage, and never thought after 18 years I would be looking at the death of marriage. Everything I knew to be me was created around this man. My music, books, dress, everthing him. I did not have my own likes. My identity was being his wife. As bad as things ended which I still do not understand at our age the lack of civility, I thought he was my soul mate. We grew up together. Married at 20. Our identity was wrapped in our coming of age, and life together. Now remarried to a man as gentle as dove, and such a kindred spirit. I believe my love for my first husband was bound by legalism, and the have to approach of Christianity. I did love him, but so did not like him. My now husband I so like, and am so in love with. I like him. That is important. How often do we love, but not like. This has made me think for sure. It was a great post! Thank you sharing…

    • It’s interesting how much we learn and how much our perspective changes over the years. I love how God can take our heartbreaks and turn them into something beautiful. I’m happy that you are happy with a gentle man. Liking our partners as well as loving them is a valuable gift. Thank you for sharing your experience, Lisa. Glad you liked the post.

  4. Whatever term we are choosing to use, I definitely think it is possible to have more than one. I don’t think that there is only one person on earth with whom it is possible to have such a deep relationship. I even think that it is possible to have more than one soul-friend at the same time.

  5. I would love to find someone special that stays lasting till we take our last breath. ❤ I attach too much and don't really like being apart. It is due to insecurity. . . I pray for the chance to have someone special, a soulmate. 🙂

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